tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60738867020087908292024-03-13T06:55:16.811-04:00Clarity in muddy watersThis is my place to be honest and share life experiences with other people. This is my journey....Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.comBlogger675125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-63606890970201844412013-02-06T09:46:00.001-05:002013-02-06T09:46:57.957-05:00Happiness is...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WA-dtARScgw/URJptptPYYI/AAAAAAAABME/430ov3DPdhs/s1600/The%2BDogs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="256" width="192" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-WA-dtARScgw/URJptptPYYI/AAAAAAAABME/430ov3DPdhs/s320/The%2BDogs.jpg" /></a></div>
Joe came to my home this weekend and brought Rocco. I was ecstatic. It was a little chaotic at first, but than Harley settled down, as did Rocco. (Joe calls him Stosh) This dog brings me joy like no other. He keeps Joe company during the week and I get to see him on the weekends. Rocco lives in a huge house with an equally huge yard. He gives Joe a reason to get out of bed. Dogs have an amazing healing effect on people. I see a difference in Joe when I call him. He is now responsible for another living being. The dog sleeps in the bed with him and wakes him up in the am. Rocco has given a 75 year old man a reason to live. I smother the dog with hugs and kisses on the weekends. (And clean up any messes he has made) This is truly a win/win situation.
So far moving back in the home I shared with Tina is working out. I think we needed a break from one another to appreciate the good we bring to the table. Her son is currently in a detox/rehab facility which I think is wonderful. She is going to have a harder time letting go than he is, I believe. I have warned her that recovery is selfish. They are trying to find him a sober living home. His drug of choice are his mom's prescriptions. The few months I was gone she said things had gotten so bad she was ready to put him out. This is a woman who has always had her son with her since day one. There comes a time to cut the umbilical cord and let them go off on their own, mistakes and all. I call it "manning up". When your son stops being a boy and becomes a man. He is in a wonderful facility and doing great. She is the one suffering from separation anxiety. I suggested counseling for her to help her deal with the empty nest problem. He is all she has. That is too much for one person, to be someone's be all and end all. I don't want to be "All someone has in this world"...Too much pressure..Time to clean the room and get my laundry together. Have a great day. Peace!!!Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-6451281422106426432013-02-05T13:59:00.000-05:002013-02-05T14:07:33.101-05:00Feeling Better. I am feeling better. Getting my sea legs back. J is bringing me up my new (used) Honda Civic tonight or tomorrow. I figure that car saved my life so I'll stick with a Honda. This one is white and 7 years newer than the previous one. These cars get excellent mileage. That's what's up for me. I see all these people with fancy SUV's and I'll I see are dollar signs regarding the gas. Call me cheap, cause I am. In this economy I have to be. I have learned a lot from being around Joe. When you are around someone who has grown up during the depression you learn a lot. Trust me. This post is going to be brief as I have some errands to take care of that I have put off. Yes, I procrastinate. No more. I have to get things in order. I'll be by all your blogs this afternoon. I hope everyone is well and happy. Don't survive, thrive my friends! Peace!Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-49319313218244748372013-01-29T05:20:00.002-05:002013-01-29T05:20:51.037-05:00HumbledI totaled my car last night. Woke up in the hospital. They had to cut me and my clothes off to get me out of my Honda Accord. Thankfully just very bruised and scraped up. Not sharing pictures, lol. Apparently everything happened to my left side as that is the most damaged. Figures I am left handed. Typing slowly. Tina ( sis-in-law) picked me up from hospital.
I cried when I heard my Bella was totaled. I cried thanking God that I was alive and that Rocco wasn't in the car. Than I came home and Tina took care of me and we talked. I realized that I have been humbled. Sometimes in life when things are going smoothly and no major bumps in the road, we forget to give thanks. We all cry to God when things are going wrong. I'm out shopping, going to lunch etc. Settled in my new place. I realized that I haven't been thanking God or anyone for my good fortune of late. Now that I am banged and bruised up I can't stop thinking. How did my car flip over the metal barrier? I have come close to death many times, why am I still alive? I realized I am happy to be alive. That maybe I need to do as I used too. Say my prayers every night, giving thanks. I have been very blessed in my lifetime.
I am still a little woozy when I sit up. Just wanted to check in and tell everyone to take 3 minutes from your day and give thanks for all your blessings, no matter how big or small. Don't wait for a life endangering car accident. Peace!Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-26934095789379269312013-01-22T09:39:00.000-05:002013-01-22T09:39:21.509-05:00Alive And Well<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NVveX2Nksm0/UP6fksEXLMI/AAAAAAAABLU/yj5P9onNRwY/s1600/lancaster%2B30e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="180" width="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NVveX2Nksm0/UP6fksEXLMI/AAAAAAAABLU/yj5P9onNRwY/s320/lancaster%2B30e.jpg" /></a></div>
Been spending a lot of my free time at Joe's home which is right outside of Lancaster, PA. Sadly my 75 year old friend has been refusing to get internet in his home. He goes to the library. I am happy to say I solved two problems, Joe's depression and the fact that I am not allowed to keep my dog here. Rocco is staying at Joe's where I will get to see him on the weekends. He has been sleeping in Joe's bed every night and they lay in bed and eat bagels together. Joe was tickled when I got Rocco. We call him our baby. I think it is a win/win situation. I get daily updates on my dog, Joe sounds much happier and the dog has a huge house and yard. Rocco is happy.
Winter is def here. We are expecting a blizzard this week. Oh joy. The cable company came out the other day and got my tv and internet set up. I was miserable with-out it. Which got me thinking about The Amish. Have any of you caught the show The Amish Mafia? Anyhoooo...they live such simple lives without all of our social/electronic gadgets. Their craftsmanship is amazing. The farmland is beautiful. The Amish believe that all of our modern society distracts from the main focus, being close to God. I think there is some truth to that. Maybe some are waiting for God to start tweeting?
I hope all are well. Oh yes, the couple I was renting from got their child back, with strict orders of aftercare and home visits etc. I hope all goes well. Their child is beautiful.
Stay warm, enjoy your loved ones and take some time to be silent and bask in the presence of all the good things in your life... Peace!!!Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-45022992677234595312013-01-05T13:12:00.000-05:002013-01-05T13:12:18.816-05:00I found a place to call homeWhew, what a load off my mind. In small towns like this one it's rather easy if people know you and you haven't sullied your name. I actually went to a friends house and we poured some drinks and made a toast to new beginnings and a fresh start. Life can be as sweet as it is sour at times.
My current landlord just got out of detox and seems to have a good mindset. Now she has the big fight. Getting her child back. Seems when you have too many domestic calls to your home and there is a young child involved, Child Protective Services gets involved. They came one day and chatted. The next thing we know they came the next day and removed the child from the home and placed her with her maternal grandparents. Now she is in foster care. The court hearings start this week. The gloves are off. Father against daughter and son-in-law. The dirty laundry will be aired. I lived this in my twenties and to see it replayed again is horrific.
The only problem I have with moving is that Rocco is going to have to stay with J. Every single place I looked at would ask the breed of my dog and once they saw Rottweiler they said no. Rocco has spent the weekend with J and is comfortable there and I can go see him whenever I want. Yes, I am weird. I have been talking sweet nothings to my dog and reassuring him that all is well. J is the one who brought him up here 5 months ago and he loves the dog too. So I have tried to make the best of the situation and think that I have done a good job. I am a fixer of problems but have grown weary. I am making plans to take some college courses and that is very exciting. This is the year that I am going to take life and expand every horizon. Why not? We only go round this globe once...so I don't want to waste the trip. Peace! Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-27743736845245136402013-01-01T08:24:00.003-05:002013-01-01T08:24:41.610-05:00What parents do for their children<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Dx5W3PbUMxI/UOLjP0if1VI/AAAAAAAABDg/Bm28HG4NIeY/s1600/insulin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="308" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Dx5W3PbUMxI/UOLjP0if1VI/AAAAAAAABDg/Bm28HG4NIeY/s320/insulin.jpg" /></a></div>
A parents love knows no bounds. I thought this was an amazing idea.Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-85785217038956843172013-01-01T07:32:00.002-05:002013-01-01T08:18:06.594-05:00Woke up this morning....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TTsTEoMXZKk/UOLh_KG9jyI/AAAAAAAABDQ/Pi0PPucrYeg/s1600/2013.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="184" width="274" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TTsTEoMXZKk/UOLh_KG9jyI/AAAAAAAABDQ/Pi0PPucrYeg/s320/2013.jpg" /></a></div>
2013. I am still dumbfounded another year has come and gone as quickly as it did. So many changes have taken place. Some people that I love have put forth an effort to make positive changes in their life, others are never going to change.
Joe and I spent New Year's Eve together. I made a nice dinner/dessert/wine. I know he lives off McDoubles when he is not with me. We were asleep by 12:20am. My phone buzzing with the usual Happy N.Y texts. The house is currently empty except for my dog and I, and this weekend Joe.
I have so much to be thankful for, even though I don't feel that way at times. Rocco is snoring at my feet. This early am. time is mine. No one can take this from me. Even when my kids were little I still had to have at least one hour of alone quiet time. Regroup, refresh etc. Get ready to face the day. These days I am happy just to make it through a day without any catastrophe's. In 46 years I have learned that slow and steady wins the race, at least in my world. I make a point of not operating on my emotions. Always gets me into some kind of trouble. I occasionally miss that feeling of invincibility that carried me in my youth. Now I take vitamins and supplements and actually pay my bills. Yes, I have to move soon. I am maintain a positive attitude, even though I despise moving. The main problem is that no one seems to want pets. Hopefully I will find a place in the next two weeks, while Rocco hasn't grown into his true adult horse size.
May this year bring all of us joy and peace and uh, prosperity? The first two seem to be a sure thing. The prosperity part is more of wishful thinking on my part. Happy New Year....PeaceLorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-88940917099869325652012-12-30T08:13:00.001-05:002012-12-30T08:13:51.576-05:00It's the end of the world as we know it...Hope all had happy holidays. I personally can't wait for January 2 to arrive so all the freaking hoopla is over and life as we know it returns to a form of normalcy. Things are peaceful right now and I am loving it. Looking for a new place to live is always a drag, but it has to be done. I do know I like the community that I currently reside in so I won't be straying far.
K checked herself into detox and than rehab. I am so proud of her. She is regaining the support of her family which she has missed like crazy. Like anything in life you just have to be ready. She is currently in black-out phase, so I haven't spoke with her yet.
Last on my mind this morning? The world did not end as expected. I don't think that we will know the precise date when the planet says ENOUGH. Even my late husband believed this was the year. So many folks were wrong. I personally am glad that life is continuing. There are still many things on my bucket list, shit, my life list. It's never been easy, this crazy journey. That's ok. I like a challenge. Sitting here typing with my dog taking care of warming my feet, I know I am blessed. We are all blessed. Many people don't realize their blessings. As I always say, it's the little things. I don't know what twist or turn the life journey has in store for me now, but I shall ride it out and things are going to be ok. Peace!
Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-30620319769182546092012-12-22T14:36:00.003-05:002012-12-22T14:36:56.215-05:00Sorry for my absenceThings have been crazy, insane etc. My roommates K and T and their daughter S have been going through it non-stop. I'm sure if you watch tv. you will see all the ads for prescription drug abuse. Well T is the poster child for that. Everything came to a head last week when he put his fist through a wall and ate 30!!!! Xanax at once. He was in a full blown benzo rage. He took the locks off his wife's doors so she had no "safe place" to go. All this happened during the week the house got foreclosed on.
Yup, moving time. AGAIN. I also made another decision. I need to live alone. Just myself and the dog. Roommates and I don't have much success long term. I found out that her husband stole at least 100 of my pills. I'm thinking I'm insane and can't count.
So the crisis has peaked. He is legally removed from the home. I am looking for a place for me and the mutt. This place will be picked carefully as this will be (don't laugh) the LAST time I move unless it is the coroner taking me out. So two steps forward and one back. It happens. Thank God I have the coping skills to deal with this. I love you all. Does anyone know what has happened to Lou's blog? I have been reading her forever and love her and her family dearly. Any updates would be appreciated.
I love you all and am back to blogging. Wish me happy home shopping...sigh...Be well and HO HO HOLorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-43158927987637374382012-11-16T07:56:00.000-05:002012-11-16T07:56:00.532-05:00Being ThankfulI have had a case of the blues lately, finally able to shake it off. I can only handle so much stress before I shut down totally. Thank God for Rocco who makes me get out of bed. He is a very vocal dog, so when he needs attention he barks right in my ear. There is something to be said for having a sense of purpose and being responsible for another living thing. No laying around when another living thing depends on you.
Everytime I think I have gotten rid of all toxic people in my world a new one pops up. Like a weed. This weekend Rocco and I are going to Joe's this weekend, so that should be a refreshing change. I drive by the outlet strip and just repeat "I will not stop and spend" over and over.
I have been managing my medications very well and that is a great feeling. The Paxil seems to be helping alot. I am just wondering if your body gets used to a certain medication and needs to be changed or upped. I need to remind myself to mention this to my doctor at my next visit. There are just days that seem harder than others. I constantly feel like I am playing catch up.
When I drive through Lancaster, Pa on my way to Joe's I am always amazed as I pass a horse and buggy with a family on their way to the local market to sell their wares. They seem content to work, have faith and be thankful. It's at these times when I feel that I have so much to be grateful for. That is what I need to remember on the sluggish days.Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-57106601760048671692012-11-05T11:12:00.000-05:002012-11-05T11:12:31.049-05:00Checking InWell hello and good morning strangers. I simply had nothing to write about lately and just took a break from the laptop, doing "stuff", ie, errands, paperwork etc. The banalities of life. When I got back from Joe's house, my older son arrived the night Hurricane Sandy hit. Sigh, only him. Good news- He is off heroin, I do believe. Not so good news- He has replaced his old love with a new one. Good old legal alcohol. He was here for 3 nights. Drank every single day. He is a chatty drunk. It got to the point where my head literally hurt, one of the main reasons I haven't been wr
iting. I took him home Friday morning. I love him but he mentally drains me. My roommates can't get over how different my two boys are.
Everyone is talking about the election. I wish there was a third candidate, lol. Not funny I know, just simply how I feel. I'm lacking that sense of excitement or anticipation that one gets when they feel the world is going to be a better place. I'm starting to think that our country is beyond repair. All the government is doing are placing band-aids on gaping, infected wounds. Voting to me reminds me of a horse race like The Preakness. Every once in awhile theres a horse thats name catches the wind (Secretariat) and the crowd just knows that the race is going to be exciting and the win historical. Sadly the surge of excitement is not in the air this election year.
On another note life is good for the most part. Rocco will be 3 months old on the 8th. He has been developing his own quirky, funny personality. I love him so much. He still has a ton of growing to do if he ever wants to fit into his tremendous thunder-paws. I am learning alot about myself courtesy of Mr. Rocco. I have never gotten a dog at the age of 6 weeks. I feel like I personally gave birth...I am learning how powerful the pull of this puppy tugs at my heart. Trust, loyalty and unconditional love. It's an amazing thing. After shots, it only costs me $15.00 a month in Kibbles-n-Bits. What I get back is priceless.
Sorry this turned into me babbling, but..I just wanted to check in and say hi. I also have to stop by and visit everyone's blogs and catch up.
Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-34613364437443513642012-10-25T10:06:00.001-04:002012-10-25T10:27:28.954-04:00I shall be gone til Sunday evening....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lxkmm5IUNA4/UIlMR9vFiJI/AAAAAAAAA9A/spZAX0TxpT4/s1600/driving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lxkmm5IUNA4/UIlMR9vFiJI/AAAAAAAAA9A/spZAX0TxpT4/s320/driving.jpg" /></a></div>
Yes, time to visit my friend Joe. Rocco and I are packing up this morning and getting ready for our two hour drive. I must tell you that Joe is more geared up to see puppy than I. I can hear it in his voice. He calls it our baby. The Polish Puppy. Except it has an Italian name which pisses him off to no end. He calls him Stosho Stanislov. Rocco keeps his real name a secret and goes willing to Joe when he calls. My doctor said if he could write every senior with high blood pressure a puppy instead of lipitor etc.. he would. Doc thinks that animals work wonders with seniors that live alone. I know he is doing miracles for this middle-aged (gulp) woman.
I had my monthly lunch with my Baltimore sisters aka best friends. Great time as always. Stacy and Kelly are sisters, I am just an honorary one. Never underestimate the value of one or two true friends in a lifetime. The comfort of being with someone who knows you, faults and flaws and all, and loves you unconditionally is a gift. No amount of money or shopping or whatever can replace someone who loves you. YOU.. Just the way you are.
I've been rather busy with puppies and some drama so I haven't had the writing urge. I am learning not to engage with people who are crazy, lol....and it is working. Enough said. The world keeps spinning and so far I haven't fallen off the globe and I guess that's good enough for now. PeaceLorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-81354598216160290482012-10-09T09:45:00.001-04:002012-10-09T09:45:58.174-04:00Life is sweetRocco and I drove to my friend Joe's home this past weekend. 2 hour ride. I had to drive through Lancaster PA. The Amish were hard at working, selling their wares, along with all the commercial souveniour shops. So many pumpkins and squash. Made for interesting driving. Fall is in the air, jack frost making guest appearances on my morning windshield.
This was the first time Joe has invited me to his home. He has always been embarrassed about the state of the inside. He is a now 75 year old man who is quite messy. A collector of books. The home is gorgeous. Picture windows that let you peek at the deer in his backyard. There are books everywhere. Joe has a true love of the written word. Do the math. His age x books...Yup, they are all over his home. Piles and piles. He could no lie, fill a small county library. I made a big fuss over the beauty of the home. He was afraid I would judge him on his sloppiness. Ha, ME? Seriously? I am the last to judge. I have resided in beautiful homes, hotels and hovels. I judge no one. There but the grace of God...
So we went out to a very nice pub/dinner place. Ate the best damn hamburger I have had. ( I confess, I have had many a burger in my day) We split a home-made peach cobbler and I had a yummy Bailey's over ice. In the am. I started cleaning. He and Rocco had hit it off from the beginning. Joe and the puppy played outside. He looked happy. I have a feeling in my gut that he is getting his affairs in order. Joe wants me to clean his house. Put some order to it. He pulled out a silver tea serving set he wants his favorite daughter Jane to have.
I left wistful. Here is a man who has known nothing but hard work his whole life. He spends his weeks at the library perfecting his resume and searching for work. We both know that this is futile but I am playing the game. Sense of purpose folks. I actually felt ashamed at how many years while he was hard at work, I was a total hedonist, living for the moment.
On the way home I could feel my eyes drooping so I pulled into a trading post. Parked next to a horse and buggy. Yes, I did. Purchased a coffee, ok an iced coffee with whipped cream and chocolate drizzle. Rocco and I streched legs and paws than finished the drive home.
I have learned many things in my two year friendship with Joe. The most important one was this weekend. Don't waste time. Living is but for so long....Make it count. Peace! Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-63227118689619490382012-10-03T11:36:00.000-04:002012-10-03T11:36:08.161-04:00First Photo<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xr98-veiHU8/UGxbYBH2zdI/AAAAAAAAA8o/zPWj1mRUPH4/s1600/Rocco.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xr98-veiHU8/UGxbYBH2zdI/AAAAAAAAA8o/zPWj1mRUPH4/s320/Rocco.jpg" /></a></div>
Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-21192384544522052702012-10-02T11:32:00.000-04:002012-10-02T11:32:09.929-04:00I'm so in love with you....Rocco. Yup, I have managed to keep my plants alive for over a year. Theres a saying in recovery. Before you have a relationship, get a plant. If you keep the plant alive for a year, get a pet. After a year with the pet, than you are ready for a "live person". Of course I don't always do things in the correct order, but so be it. I am as happy as if I gave birth. Since Auggie I haven't had a dog. I shared Harley with sis-in-law, but it's not the same as having your own. Plus I do like the advantage of him being so young so I can train him the way I want.
I am rambling, so let me start in order. Jay had stopped up two nights ago with this beautiful Rotty puppy for me to check out. I fell in love, so he brought the dog back to his owner and told him that I would take the puppy. He has had all of his shots and his tail has been docked and he has already been checked out by the vet. He shows no signs of having future hip diseases.
The best part of this whole getting a puppy situation is this: There was a time when my son wouldn't trust me to take care of a goldfish. The fact that he brought me this puppy let's me know that he has noticed the change through the years. Jay knows I am responsible and can be trusted to take care of this dog. That was a better gift than Rocco. The gift of Jay finally taking me seriously and knowing I have been stable for a long enough time that we now have trust in our relationship. One day at a time, or one minute at a time. The payoff is tremendous. Peace!Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-66896813265186681002012-09-29T06:03:00.000-04:002012-09-29T06:03:33.012-04:00Re-runs & GossipI am watching someone I love and care for falling into the hell of addiction. Thankfully I just listen as I know there not a damn thing I can do until that person is ready to make a change. It's odd, you know, to see yourself about 15 years ago with that "everything will work out somehow" attitude. It makes me thankful I have conquered the majority of my demons. It makes me thankful for the life I live today. I just pray that my friend's epiphany will come in time before all is lost that can't be replaced. I don't like watching a re-run of my past.
Anyhow, I am making a real effort not to commit a sin that I am guilty of way to much. Gossip. It starts out so innocently and than the next thing you know, you and a friend are disecting the life of a mutual friend as if they were a frog. NONYA is my new mantra. None Ya Business. If it doesn't apply or have relevance to me or my family than I will not support any conversations that are negative. Women are not the only ones guilty of this. Men love to gossip ALOT. Seems to be alot of yard bashing in the neighborhoods. Men love them some yard talk. I just realize I catch myself saying things at times that are better left unsaid.
I bought myself a cheap little leather and silver bracelet that says Count Your Blessings. Everytime I look at the engraved words it is a reminder of how lucky and blessed I am. I don't ever want to forget the gifts that I have been showered with in my lifetime. Sunshine and Rain...Joy and Pain.....Peace!Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-36797827943527769192012-09-16T17:00:00.001-04:002012-09-16T17:00:54.994-04:00Death With DignityYesterday I watched a documentary on HBO about the state of Oregon and how it allows people who, when they have tried all these medical options, chemo etc..they have the legal right to ask their doctor to write them a prescription so they can die at home at the time of their choosing.
Every person that was featured seemed almost happy that their pain and suffering would soon be ending. They had made peace with death. This touched me deeply. Can you see a time where your quality of life would decline to the degree that you would prefer to say good-bye while you still had your mental faculties and wits? Would you just want to live for the press of a morphine button?
There was another not so nice side to this story. A rather poor gentleman had prostrate cancer and his insurance company sent him a letter that stated unless the doctors could guarantee that any new meds would increase his life-span by a 5 year minimum, than they would only pay for hospice and pallitave care. They also offered to pay for the death with dignity prescription. Leave it to insurance companies to fuck up something well intended.
So now the quarrel in other states is will this become a way of euthanizing the elderly poor? I put nothing past big business. One gentleman was given his 6 month left to live note and was trying to move to Oregon but was told that he would be dead from cancer before he would be able to establish residency.
Most of the doctors felt that by allowing patients to do this themselves they weren't violating the oath of "Thou shall do no harm". I was wondering what you intelligent readers feel about this.
I personally think that when a human being reaches the point of not being able to control their body fluids and is in a medicated haze, there isn't that much quality of life. I believe this should be an option for everyone. I hope that when my time comes to meet my maker I shall be surrounded with family and have full clarity.
On a lighter note....Happy Sunday. I am noticing the birds are sleeping in later and the sun is getting later in making the grand appearance. It's getting to be that time of year.....Peace!
Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-13942996533904300612012-09-16T07:37:00.001-04:002012-09-16T07:37:31.132-04:00I just like this postcard....<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-o-Y3ts6ECfE/UFW55QHBJwI/AAAAAAAAA8Q/ib-_0nnjaQM/s1600/rain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="204" width="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-o-Y3ts6ECfE/UFW55QHBJwI/AAAAAAAAA8Q/ib-_0nnjaQM/s320/rain.jpg" /></a></div>
Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-41439626061668832022012-09-15T12:49:00.001-04:002012-09-15T12:52:30.482-04:00What to do?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--SjI1YbGOR4/UFSyRdSY2nI/AAAAAAAAA74/TLnlCP6kbIY/s1600/pills.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="259" width="194" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--SjI1YbGOR4/UFSyRdSY2nI/AAAAAAAAA74/TLnlCP6kbIY/s320/pills.jpg" /></a></div>
It's been awhile since the urge to write has beckoned me. I'm finally settled in my new place and I love it. I have the living room finished and it is just the way I want it. My roommate Katie says it's perfect and homey. I think she has wonderful taste so that was a decent complement.
I'm waiting for my friend Joe to arrive today. We shall do the usual. Dinner and watch some tv. The best part of our time together is when we simply talk. He uses the word chat. "Lets chat". I love the sound of it.
In other things that have been on my mind, I am literally astounded by the prescription drug abuse by our younger generation. All of us might have drilled in no illegal drugs, but apparently they think it's ok to rob our medicine cabinets. The worst part is when someone genuinely needs pain medication the pill abusers have made it very difficult for the folks in genuine need. My friends mother-in-law is 60 something and works 3 jobs just to make ends meet. She has everything wrong with her. Very nice woman. She is actually afraid to ask her doctor for medication, which she desparetly needs. I think that is a damn shame. Thankfully she is listening to her daughter-in-law and found a new doctor that will listen to her and hopefully help her with her needs. The invincibility of youth. I remember it well. 40 and 50 seemed eons aways. 22 years old with balls of steel. What consequences? That word meant nothing to me. I have noticed when I try to engage a younger person in a conversation about how they are going to ruin their life, it is going in one ear and out the other. I just hope that maybe I get through to one person. Part of the reason I moved out of Tina's home is because she is dealing with many issues with her adult son. I felt that by my being there she couldn't give him her full focus. Noone wants to acknowledge that their 21 year old son is addicted to opiates or whatever. So many kids are lost these days. Their coping skills seem to be self-medication. I just want to shake them and the addiction away. Sadly, that is not possible. My question to all of you is this- What can we as knowledgable adults do to help save this next generation? Literally save them from themselves. That is what has been on my mind all week. I see parents cry. Father's turn their head away because their voice is breaking as they try to describe what they are going through.
Also the economy is no help to this situation. How many of you know young people with AA or BA degrees that are unemployed? How many of you are having your young ones need to come home for financial reasons? What are we to do?
I would really like some feedback on this because many of my adult friends are in this situation. Just because some of us were able to save ourselves doesn't mean we have a magic wand with answers. Also, I am 45. It took wasting the best years of my life to understand. Sigh...I have errands to run and waiting on Joe to get here. God Bless and be well. Peace! Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-89293774269732870632012-09-06T05:46:00.002-04:002012-09-06T05:46:17.477-04:00ScribblingsGetting settled in my new place. I still love sis-in-law and consider her a dear friend. We simply are two very different people. I am in walking distance of the old house. Her and I were joking about sharing custody of the dog. Crazy, huh? We both have sons. She is praying her son starts to turn into a man and become self-supporting. My son (not my older one) wasn't welcome in our home. Neither was my friend Joe who is 74. Joe would arrive Saturday night at around 7pm and we would go out to dinner and maybe a movie. We came back and off to sleep we went. No raucous bedroom behavior. Simply isn't possible. Than we would wake up and go out to breakfast and he would go home by 2pm. most times as he doesn't like to drive after dark. That was too stressful for her.
It just always felt like it was her home as she had 52 years worth of furniture and whatnots. So I basically lived in my bedroom. I have accumulated quite a bit of my own things since moving to PA and my room was getting cluttered as I didn't want to disrupt her design in the rest of the home. Anyhow, bottom line, I think, and she agrees, that we will be better friends now that we aren't living together.
So now I am on my own. I rent from a couple with a beautiful baby who will be two this month. She is adorable. It breaks my heart because she has now figured out that "Auntie" lives downstairs and she will beat on the upstairs door to let her dad know that she wants to come visit. They tell her that I am home and she can visit later. So now instead of spoiling the dog rotten, it is now a beautiful two year old. The living room looks like me and so the bedroom will soon as well.
I go pick up my new work schedule today at 2:30. Very excited. As I write these words I see how far many of us have come since we all started writing. Maybe there is something wonderful about a bunch of "mad women scribbling"...Peace! Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-76934558188388557862012-09-05T12:38:00.000-04:002012-09-05T12:38:23.741-04:00Checking in....Sorry I haven't been writing but I have an one bedroom apartment and I have been slammed moving. Yes, I moved again, but thank God it's right down the street, literally. I was deadly serious about no more drama and I meant it.
My new place is stunning. Absolutely gorgeous. I am very at peace here. Time to be a big girl and live on my own. As soon as I am unpacked I will write and read everyone's blogs. My internet should be all hooked up and ready to go tomorrow. Just didn't want anyone to worry, as I worry about everyone when they don't post for awhile. I love you all and I feel proud about the move I made. Oh yeah, I got the job I applied for. I start work Thursday. Whew....I will be writing and commenting regularly starting tomorrow. Be well, be happy and much love from Pa!
Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-65274039370055817572012-08-26T10:58:00.001-04:002012-08-26T12:05:21.283-04:00The tide has turned!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ixe6cOan31o/UDpI6zo3bqI/AAAAAAAAA7g/VzeQ8UMmeLA/s1600/m_waves.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ixe6cOan31o/UDpI6zo3bqI/AAAAAAAAA7g/VzeQ8UMmeLA/s320/m_waves.jpg" /></a></div>
When I tell people that I live on faith, many laugh. I don't care. It has worked for many years and The Big Guy and I have our own wonderful relationship. Baggy Pants now has a nice home to live in. Turns out the couple he was renting from thought so highly of him that the husband called his mom, who resides in MD., and now Jay is packing his stuff after meeting her and is excited to move into, hopefully his permanent home. I met my friends K & T while walking the dog, T walking with his little daughter. They took my son and his friend in just because we are friends. That touched me so deep. Yes, my boy paid his way, it is just the point. They didn't hesitate. Proof in point, that their are still people out their who are amazing. Very refreshing after dealing with the predatory, vulture like fuckheads....(I do have a mouth like a truck driver, sorry).
Certain people in our blog circle of words actually offered me help. Again, faith. There are still decent people on this planet. I know there are. I read your blogs. Proof in the pudding. We all have love of our families, life and laughter. We are the ones who dance when noone is looking. That is why I love you all....God Bless and Happy Sunday!Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-59470027489841227752012-08-22T07:29:00.001-04:002012-08-22T07:29:53.884-04:00So busy...Things have been a little hectic. I haven't had time to write or comment. Sorry. Let's see...Baggy Pants got a promotion to Audi, today is his first day. The problem is he has no-where to live. He just texted me that he was on his way to work and that yes, he slept in his car last night. He stopped by yesterday afternoon to say good-bye to me and he def had a place to go, with my brother. He showed up there around 9pm and suddenly the plans change. Not even one night on the couch so he could be fresh for his new job. I have new-found respect for my son. He went to work on time today. He is welcome here but the new job is near DC, which would triple the commute time from 40 minutes to about two hours each way. He told me he would have to change his oil every 3 days or so..whatever..Bottom line is I am going to spend the day burning up the phones and seeing what I can come up with for him.
I also have a job interview at 10am. and am praying I get it. Due to our lovely economy I am taking it even though it is another waitress gig. I am pretty damn good at it and the money is necessary. This is the only diner I have seen up here. Baltimore has a diner on every corner. I eat breakfast at this place every Sunday. So keep your fingers crossed.
Please pray for my son. He doesn't drink, do drugs, nothing except go to work 6 days a week. It's not like they gave him a week-end off to look for a place. He is learning life lessons that I don't want him to have to deal with yet.
Tomorrow I will catch up on everyone's blogs. All of you are like my extended family. Eyes and ears in so many different places, reminding me that the daily grind goes on everywhere and we all somehow make it from one day to the next. As the blog-o-spere turns...time to walk the dog and get ready for my interview. God Bless and Peace!
Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-87224827709628927652012-08-17T09:19:00.001-04:002012-08-17T09:25:13.307-04:00Bed pleasuresLast night you were snoring a steady rhythm.
I didn't mind.
I love feeling your breath on my neck.
We went to sleep laughing last night,
which makes me forgive you for
hogging the covers.
(You do that quite a bit dear)
I woke this morning with your tongue lightly
licking my neck.
Wish I could have lingered,
but I had to pee so bad.
Broke the mood.
I crept down the steps to make the
morning pot of coffee.
I turned the corner
and there you were in the
dark
your breathing heavy and excited.
I know what that means.
So I grabbed the leash and off we went for our morning walk!
Peace!
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_LPOVWmVEnw/UC5GMHrUHxI/AAAAAAAAA7I/2qXVk2A6xGY/s1600/window%2Bharley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_LPOVWmVEnw/UC5GMHrUHxI/AAAAAAAAA7I/2qXVk2A6xGY/s320/window%2Bharley.jpg" /></a></div>
Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6073886702008790829.post-64817128450253703392012-08-16T07:54:00.000-04:002012-08-16T08:00:58.499-04:00Re-arranging odds and ends<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c2xKjQLqh1o/UCzg8HxFQYI/AAAAAAAAA6w/mJgTCwiOaoA/s1600/willow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-c2xKjQLqh1o/UCzg8HxFQYI/AAAAAAAAA6w/mJgTCwiOaoA/s320/willow.jpg" /></a></div>
How many of you, when you get the blues, decide to re-arrange your bedroom or living room etc? That is what I did yesterday. I actually assembled a book-shelf all by myself. That is a huge accomplishment as I suck at putting things together. Jay always did that for me. Tina (sis-in-law) left yesterday to spend the night with an old girlfriend in Md. Just me and the dog and her son Travis.
I decided I needed more space in my room so I bought two shelving units to be able to display properly some knic-knacks and whatnots. My floor is now free of any junk and I can show off some of the things I have been collecting lately. I decided I wanted my room to be surrounded with angels and fairies. I also collect Willow Figurines. They are very unique looking pieces, they have no filled in face. They represent all aspects of life. Birth, motherhood, family and they bring me comfort when I look at them. The fairy statues I like are the more gothic looking ones. Strong and beautiful women. So no my room is pleasing.
Jay leaves for his new job in Silver Spring, Md. It's very close to DC. I admit, I have gotten used to him living one block from me. Time for him to continue on his own journey. He came over for dinner last night. Easy to please. He requested Hamburger Helper for dinner??? Of coures I made it.( I ate so much when the kids were young because it was all we could afford). He starts his new job at an Audi dealership on the 21st. The told him after 3 months he will be promoted to assistant manager. The commute from here to his current job in Md isn't that bad, but this new job makes it impossible. Too much driving and wear and tear on his car. So I will be all drippy-eyed this coming weekend. I am proud, but I am going to miss my little shit-head. (that is a term of endearment between he and I) I have learned one thing. We will never stop being parents. It is a life-long job. Even though I should have been fired a few times, it's the best job I have ever had. Peace!
Lorihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06284123619357068571noreply@blogger.com4