My birthday

Yes, I am now 43. Tomorrow is also or would have been my wedding anniversary. I have an absessed tooth in my mouth and the pain is tremendous. It feels like someone has hit me in the side of my head with a hammer. So I have been laying in bed for two days to get some rest and am picking up some antibiotics tonight. I was going to go to the emergency room, but am holding off as long as possible. My son and I's medical assistance has been pending for two months now, recieved a letter from the state of md that due to circumstances beyond their control, it is taking longer than expected. I took that to mean in plain english they are backlogged. Alot of good that does me. I am thankful for the help the food stamps provide. They are a godsend. Ironically one of the girls I work with gets them, and she sells them for 50cents on the dollar for the cash. I am not judgemental. I happen to know she uses the money to get high with. That is not what food stamps are for. Baggy Boy and I made ours last through the whole month due to frugile shopping and smart shopping. When I see people abuse the "system" it infuriates me. The kids are the ones who lose out when their parents sell their food stamps. I read circulars and shop at different stores to save money. We made them last all month. Jesse has turned out to be quite the shopper. So I turned 43 today and will celebrate it by having a nice day off, praying my mouth hurries up and heals. Thankfully I am off for my birthday. That was a pretty nice gift. Hope everyone is well enjoying the holiday season.

What do you really want from Santa?

I just went through my wish list and had a nice epiphany. All the things on my wish list do not come from a store or a mall. I want to see my son graduate this year. I want my mom to get her shit together. I am making a teeny donation to the food bank. I can't afford more than $10, but my late husband donated every year and I want to keep that tradition in the family. I am praying that the approval goes through for the house for a lower mortgage. These are the things that I want for Christmas. I now can heave a sigh of relief as I do not have to shop for any of the wants.. Baggy Pants wants $$$. No surprise there. He wants more computer parts. I will be with my brother and son for the holiday. I will be working on Xmas. I think my major purchase will be a new tether and collar for my dog. I don't feel any pressure for once concerning the holidays and that alone is the best gift. We did not draw names at work as we all agreed that would place too much pressure on everyone. So no obligations socially at work. I am rather pleased this year. HO HO HO...

Maybe my life isn't so bad...

Don't abuse your server...

Why do so many people request that their food better be hot? Do I look like an idiot that is going to serve you cold Tilapia? For fuck's sake, give me a break. I make sure your syrup is hot for your pancakes, your butter is melted, and yes, I even give you a glass of hot water to soak your silverware in as you don't seem to trust our dishwasher. Than I microwave your bowl of clam chowder so it arrives steaming when I set it down in front of you. The icing on the cake is that you than sit there and wait ten minutes to eat your soup as it is too hot. I make a point of bending over backwards when I wait on a table. Whether you are spending $2.00 or
$200 I feel everyone deserves proper service and should be accommodated. I do the best tap dance I can at your table. I will cut your mother's steak for her. I will use strawberry syrup on your kids pancakes and make a happy face so they will smile. I try to make your dining experience wonderful because I want you to come back. Repeat business is my livelihood. There are certain customers we all groan when we see their car pull up. "NO, you wait on them, I refuse".. "No you take them".. I love a challenge and will take the biggest pains in the ass just to see if I can get a different response. So when you go out to eat, please remember, the person standing in front of you is a human being. Most of us really do care that you have a nice meal and good service. We understand that the economy is tough and you might not have that extra dollar to throw on the table. Just be nice. A simple request from someone who has waitressed for 20 years.

My mother

My mother is mentally not well. I moved her into her new place last Monday. She received a letter on her door yesterday to please find a new place to live by the end of the week. I read the letter. They, the group of women, are tired of her regaling them with stories of her illness, ailments and problems. They are a happy bunch. They are all in their 70's. They go out and drink, dance and shop. They love life. My mother is a bitter, miserable cold woman. My brother couldn't handle her for years and simply stayed away. I have had her as a burden for many years. Actually Kenny, my late husband, was the patient one. He took care of her. Yet when he was dying she wouldn't even bring him a drink of water. I try to find forgiveness. It's hard. I feel pity. She has til Sunday to find a place according to the landlord. Actually they have to legally evict her. She lasted 7 days! Unfuckingbelievable. My plate is full. My brother and Jesse and I all get along. We always have. It's nice to have a male in the house to help with Jesse when he has his macho moments. He loves my brother. There is no room for mom. She drains me. What do you do with a 66 year old woman who has not one friend on the planet. Anyone have a room for rent? PLEASE!!! Just kidding, but this is something I simply refuse to deal with. I am done. Off to work for me...

My pajama day!

That's right, today is my last day off. I am not getting dressed. I am not leaving my house. I am eating like a pig, junk food, etc. I am loving it. I am also home alone. Considering I am now sharing my house with my brother and son, privacy is precious. I am also going to dye my hair, give myself a pedicure and whatever the hell else I want to do. I live for days like this. Mind you, this is a tiny basement apt. I value solitude and peace. I make my living looking attracive and being nice and overly kind. I am not on the clock. So the real me is now allowed out. Damn it feels wonderful. I think we should all have a day like this. Mind, body and soul. I am replenishing myself for the work week ahead. On a positive note, my landlord figured out that sex will never be part of the equation. Thank god! He asked me, "Don't you miss having sex, don't you care"....I said, "Actually I still am grieving and if and when I do meet someone they will be special and I will know it"...He got a rather puzzled look on his face and just walked away. So knocked another ass pain out. The shower is calling me, my hair follicles need some touching up..so I am out of here..alone time is the best time, so I am going to enjoy it. Have a great day everyone.

my first award

Thanks to Subdural Flow I know have my first award. I have to go to work right now. When I post in the am. I shall give you my brief brushes with celebrity. Trust me, they were brief...Peace.