Jul 1, 2010

Strange Days..




Some days are more strange than others. Just like people. I must have a weirdo magnet. I can't even walk to get a pack of cigarettes without attracting at least one. They usually need a cigarette, or want to use my phone or God forbid, they want to talk. I have no rap these days. I save it for when I am on the clock. If you want me to be overly friendly and nice, come to Denny's. Once I punch out, it's pretty much all gone. I did wait on an a rather colorful drunk the other night. He was there with a lady friend. He had a 40oz in a paper bag. They ordered two prime rib skillets and two waters. He asked me for my phone number. I told him I didn't own a phone. He asked me if I wanted some of his beer. I declined. Than he proceeded to tell me his life story. He is a vagabond who likes to travel. He has been to most of our states, and can tell you the name of a good bar in every one. He gave me the phone number for a strange man in Montana. This man owns a rundown resort. He will pick you up at the train station. You get $68 a day in cash and free room and board. You work at the resort. Drunk dude pays bill and leaves me his phone number and a decent tip. Don't know why, but I kinda like him. The free spirit part. He told me he had to get to a meeting. I gave him a hug and told him not to bring his beer to his meeting. I hope he made it..Just a glimpse into a day of my life...Peace!!!

Jun 30, 2010

Feels so good to want to write again...

Yup, it sure does. Had quite a bit of family drama in the last month, to the point where it literally sucked the life out of me. I was just like that hamster in the shiny wheel, running fervently but accomplishing nada. Than I woke up a few mornings ago and simply let go off all problems that don't personally affect me or my son. Baggy Pants got his high school diploma this week. Thank God!!!! I cried. He was so nonchalant about it. He came home like he always does, and knocked on my door. He comes in my room and says, "Here ma, I thought you might like this". He than hands me his diploma. That was quite a moment folks. My boy is 20 and has been taking college and high school classes. That was two days ago. My spirits have been lifted tremendously. This last year has been one long strange trip for us, but we have come out on the other side. Just like he didn't give up on his diploma, I can't give up either. So it's on to fight the good fight. Feels wonderful to sit here and be able to write again....

Jun 23, 2010

Things do work out...

Well mom is not coming back here. She now has a social worker who is helping her find an assisted living facility. All her arteries are blocked and they want to wait awhile due to her age before they do any more surgery. So now she is in good hands and I will be able to work and live my life worry free. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I do feel rather hurt as for the last 6 years we have taken care of her. Apparently it wasn't good enough. For the first five months when we were in Ga. and she had no income coming in, Kenny paid every one of her bills. When we moved back after he died I waited on her hand and foot. So I feel pretty used. The good thing is it can't happen ever again. So that is a blessing. I am done. This is my year to heal spiritually and mentally. She is toxic. I hope she makes lots of friends in the assisted living place. She is going to need them....

Things do work out...

Well mom is not coming back here. She now has a social worker who is helping her find an assisted living facility. All her arteries are blocked and they want to wait awhile due to her age before they do any more surgery. So now she is in good hands and I will be able to work and live my life worry free. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I do feel rather hurt as for the last 6 years we have taken care of her. Apparently it wasn't good enough. For the first five months when we were in Ga. and she had no income coming in, Kenny paid every one of her bills. When we moved back after he died I waited on her hand and foot. So I feel pretty used. The good thing is it can't happen ever again. So that is a blessing. I am done. This is my year to heal spiritually and mentally. She is toxic. I hope she makes lots of friends in the assisted living place. She is going to need them....

Jun 16, 2010

Back to work today...

I am back on my early am schedule. No more late nights. The ambulance came twice yesterday. The first time she refused treatment. The second time she went. She has become so nasty and vile it actually is shocking me. The social worker from home health care called yesterday and said for me to go to the courthouse and file an order to get her a psychiatric evaluation. For all of you in recovery programs you understand the value of taking care of ones self before anything. She has literally sucked the life out of me. I refuse to allow it anymore. It has been one year since my husband passed. I made a point of telling myself this is a new chapter in my life. I intend to make each day count. Life can change in the blink of an eye. No more drama folks. If I want drama I'll watch a good movie. Time to get ready for work.. PEACE!!!!

Jun 12, 2010

An aging parent

Mom is recovering from major back surgery. She thought the hospital was going to let her stay there until she felt better. HA...Her insurance ran out, bam, they wheeled her out. She was devastated. What happens to people in that situation who have no family? She can't drive. She does seem to enjoy being waited on a little too much. I will fix that in a hurry. The brother isn't as sympathetic. He is like "Mom, walk dammit"..She asked if she could get a bell. ?????? NOT HAPPENING. I found that if I use my "waitress voice" and pretend she is a customer that is a decent tipper it makes this alot easier. I am trying to be humble because one day I might be the aging parent. Be nice to your kids folks,lol....you never know when the script will flip. Peace!

Jun 11, 2010

I'm Back~

Well my experiment is over. I really need my medicine. Plain and simple. I had no desire to write, read, nothing. I think this little sabbatical did me a world of good. It's been one year, June 1, since my husband died. How I am still standing I don't know, but I am. God simply isn't ready for me yet. Baggy Pants needs to finish French and the diploma is his. Small victories, I'll take 'em. My mother just came home to recoup from a major back surgery so I am playing nurse yet once again, but the end result will be a more mobile and happier mother. We move back to the family "estate" lol, August 1. No more slumlord. I must toot my horn. I did save the family house. Got my mom a 2% fixed interest rate, got rid of that crazy ass balloon payment. This is the first time our family has actually pulled together. My brother and I are now getting closer like we used to be. He stayed away for years, but now he is part of our crazy train. Here is to family and keeping that train on track moving forward...Peace!