Rainy Monday Night

Rainy Monday nights must be perfect for spouting out words on the laptop. Just took a nice hot shower, lotioned down with Bath and Body works..mmmmm...feeling fresh. Throw my night meds in the mix and here I sit, bored as sweaty balls. Lately I am relishing this new solitude after the insanity of the last year. I am learning that the excitement of rolling with "The Man" isn't all the it was cracked up to be, ha ( that was not supposed to be a pun ) Plus this man had a serious case of OCD so it is nice to go to bed without watching him count his money 30 times and tap the top of the safe 9 times. Not 10 but 9. I have learned that it is ok to walk around with $50 in my pocket. I wasn't any happier when I had $1000 if I am honest. I did purchase a rather dandy safe. My doctor is now making everyone sign papers that basically say even if you have a police report there is nothing he can do if your meds get stolen, lost or the cat ate them. Too many people screw up the system for those of us who do the right thing with our meds. I have been seeing the same doctor for about 6 years and if wasn't for him I wouldn't be able to work at all. (Or my back would be cut open and who the heck is going to take care of me than?) This man actually listens when you go in for your visit. Strange, right? He doesn't write medicine that you can't afford to fill. Many doctors could take a few notes. Now that the pain is under control I am actually back to work and productive. The new job is going well. Already got called in to work tomorrow night, so that is a good sign. Nice and slow is my new motto and I like it. Time to curl up with a good book. Been reading some excellent poetry and prose courtesy of my friend and fellow blogger The Walking Man. Check him out and his newly published writing. Great stuff! Peace...

Pink is not this dude's color!

Just because..well, because dammit..

Small town working girl

The grind has begun again. I am now slinging hash at a restaurant in PA. It reminds me so much of the atmosphere in Georgia. (That is a good thing) Mostly regular clientele and nice family atmosphere. When you take a hiatus from work/people for quite awhile it almost is a surreal feeling to be back in society doing "normal" things. I couldn't write, didn't call most of my dear friends. I just wanted to be alone. I am finally getting myself settled in. I did learn during my period of introspection that city life simply isn't for me anymore. Too many predatory people. They hide behind smiles and beautiful clothes, cars etc, but the inside is ugly. The people that I get along with best are the "What you see is what I am" type. I am sure there are many great people living and thriving in our urban areas, but through my eyes I didn't see many since my return to Baltimore. I think my next item on the wish list is a fabulous camera. Just like life can be chronicled through the written word, so it can be done via a camera. Pictures don't lie. I have all the photos from Georgia saved on my flash drive. Anyhoo...time to get in the shower and put that working game face on and do my thing. Be safe and be blessed. Life might seem shitty, but just waking up everyday is a blessing. Peace!

Sunday Morning

I am sitting out here in my boxers and T-shirt. Not proper but so 'effing what! I write best in my boxers. The cup of am. coffee helps fuel me along. One of the best parts of the move is that I know have a relationship with my nephew, my sister in law's son. I finally get to be the cool auntie. It is pretty damn fun. He is my companion in sneeking out to the vinly/cd hippie store. He is a great kid. Well he is actually 20, nevermind, he is a kid. He is now facing adult pressures about getting a job, college and all that good shit. I guide him as best as I can, but my brother in law, Kenny's brother, is steady on his ass. Sucks to be him I tell him. This peace from within is feeling wonderful. I walked up Main Street yesterday and found another neat store. I purchased a book for $20. It is called Gilligans Island from 1966. I had to have it. That is the year I was born folks. The book is still covered in plastic. Antique stores and old book stores make my panties wetter than any man these days. I also got a Van Gough print of Starry Night. Got a nice wooden frame and it is now hanging on my wall. Not bad shopping yesterday. I thank God every morning that I am alive and have most of my health, mental and physical. I have a bad sciatic nerve on the right side that shoots down my leg. I suck it up, take minimal pain meds and am getting ready to go back to waitressing on Wednesday. I will probably feel like I am 90 when I arrive home the first night. So that is the news in my world as of today. Say a prayer for me and I shall for you as well. If that doesn't work take a xanax and a nap and maybe you will feel better when you awake. Peace out girl scouts!

Our Children

Girl in Teen Psych Ward Sodomized by Patient, Forced to Live With Attacker

I'm not even going to post the story. You can read about it at True Crime. I think I prefer my small town existence nowadays. The local paper has rather pleasant news which is refreshing as hell. I read this story as I was perusing True Crime's website, following the link of a fellow blogger, http://sarcastbastard.blogspot.com/. I read many of the stories on this site and it amazes me how we as a society have changed. Either that or with the ablility we now have to spread news it is just out in the open now. We just now seem waaaay more accepting of what once was unspeakable. Children now seem disposable. When the shit hits the fan, we send out kids away. I was guilty of this for a period of time when my youngest BP went through a rough patch. All the counselors push that this is what is "best" for your child, so I fell for it. My son went to a "facility" for about 8 months to recieve counseling and whatnot. Bottom line, he turned out great, but in my heart I know it was me who dropped the ball. The girl in this story now has a mother who is suing the state for 20 million. Money is wonderful but how you come to get it is a whole different story. Peace.

Having a good heart?

I am known for having a good heart and being kind. You know what? It keeps biting me in the ass..seriously. I have helped everyone. Loaned out numerous amounts of money. Guess who winds up looking stuck on stupid at the end of the day? Yup, moi. I blame myself for not learning from past mistakes. No more. My heart will still be kind but my wallet is mine. I hate being like that but feeling used for money is worse. So that is a painful but important lesson I have learned. True friends are there whenever, broke our financially bountiful. The rest simply are a waste of time. I hope everyone has a super holiday weekend. Peace!