I hear the train a comin'

I woke up nice and early this morning.  I have a nice sense of peace.  Sometimes all it takes with me is the right song.  I am a huge Johnny Cash fan.  Folsom Prison was on my play list first thing.  Than, Jackson.  I am now happy.  It's the little things in life people.  Who knew?  I refuse to suffer and cry about my distraught life.  Angst is not my thing these days.  I don't do the "poor me thing".  Tina, sis-in-law is very proper in public, doesn't like to be seen without lipstick etc.  I now have corrupted her to where she now will drive to the corner store in her pajamas and slippers. She won't get out of the car yet, sends me in, but give me time, lol.  Since we both were married to brother's that died young, I am trying to explain to her that she is much stronger than she even knows.  I am still learning. I know that life is short, can end in the blink of an eye. So before my eye blink comes I have much to do.  Places to go and people to enjoy.  So if you wake up today feeling shitty and grouchy, put some good music on and tune out the negativity.  Savor the taste of your coffee/tea.  Be thankful that even though times are hard for alot of us, that you are wiping your bottom with real toilet paper instead of napkins from McDonald's.  Seriously.  I remember waking up without a dollar to my name, and it was my own stupidity that I was broke.  I learned my lessons.  I grab my joy however I can, kind of like sticking your tongue out to catch a snowflake.  Have a beautiful Saturday and when you are driving or walking turn the music up and it might just heal whatever ails you....Peace!

Pics of the new place

It's official.  We sign the lease and get the key on Monday.  That is a blessing as we have til the 13th to be out of here. This way we can load my pick-up and make trips instead of doing it all in one day.
The rent is $855 per month. This same home would rent for $1300 a month easy in Bmore.  It has 3 bedrooms, a finished hardwood floor attic/loft and a huge basement.  Here are some pics.....

This balcony is right off of the kitchen. The next pic is of the living room.  He just re-did all the hardwood floors!  Gorgeous!  I just can't believe that I found this place on Craigslist!  So here is a toast to (another) new beginnings and no longer renting a basement.  Tina and I joke that this is the widow's house.  God act's in mysterious ways...Tina is  the sister that I have never had.  We laugh, cry and fight just like real sisters.  I love her.  I have learned through her that secrets weigh heavy and that it is best just not to keep them from each other unless they are hurtful.  Accepting housewarming gifts, lol.....I told the landlord that we would like this to be our last move and he  seemed happy to have long term tenants.  So another toast to permanency! Peace!

Wash and Rinse!

Time to launder......MY KARMA!

Saturday

Yawn, stretch and coffee.  Saturday morning is here.  The household is asleep, even the dog.  I live for these minutes.  We went househunting and I discovered there are crappy neighborhoods here.  Dallastown and Red Lion are so quaint and cozy.  10 minutes away is York and the city.  We went to look at a house in that area.  It was like flashbacks from Baltimore.  The same decay and poverty that I left.  I have felt so insulated in my little neighborhood. My sis-in-law got scared and locked the car doors and rolled up the windows.  My skin is quite thicker, lol.   So we now know where we DON'T want to move to.  I made an appointment for Monday morning to look at a house in Red Lion that sounds like a winner.  Yes, Walking Man, I am getting good at this moving stuff, lol.  Hopefully this will be the FINAL move.  Home is important.  To see your memories and treasures on an end table or mantle gives you the sense that you are "Home".  The scents, flavors, laughter, and tears that flow through your house is like a nice, warm blanket.  Where I lay my head is my castle. My kingdom.  My home.  Peace and Happy Saturday!

Without Lube

My Rant

I borrowed this photo from a friend. Love it!  I haven't felt a need to write lately because I have been too busy doing real world things. Cleaning, reading, bill paying, crying, paying more bills, lol.  Actually my overhead isn't that bad so I am counting my blessings.  I have been watching that show Doomsday Preppers, I think it's called.  I am learning new lingo.  Bug-out Bags = A backpack filled with about 3-4 days of survival tools.  One man has been building an underground "condo".  He has spent about 3 million already. He has investors who are guaranteed a living space under the earth.  Actually, it was rather impressive.  Doomsday means different things to different people.  There is nuclear attacks, the financial collapse of the US., chemical warfare and a few other items. Jesse, his friend Reuben and I watched one episode together.  I am watching this and looking at my son wondering what his world will be like when I have moved on.  I actually felt sad.  Yes, I love our technology and gadgets. I use them daily.  I just can't imagine being 22 in today's society.  How will he afford to get married and have a family?  My life hasn't been perfect  but in the whirlwind of marriage, kids, addiction, death etc..you know what?  I am blessed.  I grew up with great music, hitchhiked from MD to Florida up to MA and back when I was 14.  My girlfriend and I wanted to see the world.  Gone one month and came home unharmed safe and sound. I now carry my keys like a knife just to walk to the store.  What happened?  Is my son and his family going to be walking around in gas masks and bug-out bags?  What kind of quality of life is that?  Instead of going to poetry readings or the movies are people going to be doing practice drills because the bomb is going to drop?  My world was reading The Dharma Bums and rolling a doobie when I was young.  I was fearless and free.  Now I see fear everywhere.  Mistrust.  Hatred.  Poverty so blatant that you can taste it.  Like welfare cheese.  A big ass brick of yellow wanna be Velveeta.  No matter how bad you wanna be, you ain't never gonna be...affluent, have decent health care, living the dream etc.  I am living the dream my friends when I sit here and write, when my coffee is hot and sweet and my Newport's are on my desk.  I don't need an automatic de-icer for my driveway to make me happy.  Yup, money is great, I enjoy life when I have it.  My generation learned a lesson that this one has yet to discover.  The smallest pleasures in life all add up to fill that big hole.  The hole inside, where the soul resides.  Fuck a bug-out bag and give me soul.  Peace!!!! 

You've got the facts, you have the information...

Now what to do with it?  Politicians, schmoliticians.  I am tired of watching the news, polls etc. Personally I feel that politicians are rather like someone on drugs, when their lips are moving, they are lying. Sorry people, that's just me. Corruption, greed, self-absorption, narcissism, putting their own spin on the truth.  Maybe they need a stay in a recovery based facility? 

I live in a tiny town in Pa.  I ran. Not because I am a coward, but because I didn't want to die.  When you are living in a town that's nickname is Bodymore, Murdarland you would consider moving also.  Too much tempatation lurks around every corner for fresh meat. The politicians started a program called Baltimore- The City That Reads, and painted it on every park bench.  It was soon covered with graffiti, Reads covered with Breeds.  ( I didn't sleep well last night and watched re-runs of The Wire).  There are so many parts of that city that I love, and many I hate. Politicians can only do so much.  The people make the real difference.  That's what I am trying to express, I guess.  When you personally give up and don't stand up to be heard, don't get mad because noone is listening. Peace!