Good-bye Mr. Rooney

He was my favorite part of 60 minutes. I will miss him!

Organ theft....

Refugees face organ theft in the Sinai

Bedouin smugglers involved in people trafficking are also believed to be stealing organs from refugees who are unable to pay their demands for large amounts of cash to take them into Israel.

This is the story I woke up to on CNN.com. I guess nothing is sacred in this world these days. All the more reason to be thankful for what I have in my life now. I believe we can conquer our inner demons but when it comes to the masses it seems we have no control. Stealing organs...what next? Human smuggling must stop as the biggest irony is that the ones who are seeking the dream of a better life are the ones who never make it, due to predatory forces that seem worse than any nightmare. Pray for Peace!

Serenity and just being happy

Lazy Tuesday morning. Damn does it feel good. I think I am finally learning how to value money. When you spend many years of your life where money doesn't matter, because all you do with it is burn it up and get more. Even though I always worked, I would wake up broke everyday. Now in my new life I have a checking account and a savings. I even cut coupons. I am saving for things that I want. I am sending J money here and there to help him stand on his own size 12 feet. He is learning that he can trust me and my word is good. That is the best feeling in the whole wide world. I can look my boy in the eye and he knows. I have gotten better. We can make jokes now about the stupid things that happened in the past. I learned I am not afraid to be alone. I am accountable for me and my actions. It's a great feeling. I pray it continues. Peace!

Just a recent pic of me being happy

I take my moments wherever I can find them! Today is my day off. Have a doctor's appointment and I am going to mention how well the Paxil after steady taking it for one month has made a huge difference in how I feel. It's actually amazing stuff. So here is to enjoying a nice day off! Peace!

Woke up this morning

Have you ever been overwhelmed by your blessings? I woke up this morning and did something I haven't done since I was down and out. I hit my knees. This time to say thank you. Things are falling into place. J is doing great. I feel like he actually believes I am clean and sober. I have a job that I like for the most part and I have people around me that I love. Every other time I hit my knees it was in my most desperate moments- strung and sprung. I woke up and felt pure joy so it just dawned on me it is good to hit your knees to say thank you when things are going well also.

I also realized that anti-depressants have a purpose and they don't work if you start and stop them. No more spiraling up and down. Level is good. I do believe you can get addicted to chaos. Normalcy seems strange at first. Now I love it. Just being me. The world in all it's other craziness can't touch what's inside my heart and spirit. Peace

Are you crazy or eccentric?

Aging and ramblings

I have been contemplating lately about what it is going to be like to be an "elderly" person. Will I be one of those nasty, cranky old biddies, or will I be the smiling, content type? I hope for the latter. I am sitting here wearing pink snowman pajama bottoms and a pink thermal top. Such a fashionista. Screw it, I am comfortable. The one positive I have noticed about getting older is being comfortable in your own skin. That is the one thing I have finally achieved. It feels great. I spent so many years behind a facade. I hid behind my addictions and mental health issues. No more. That whole scene grew old. Like me, I guess. I will be 45 in December. I wake up not dreading the day. I realized how important it is not to play with your medications. You start feeling better so you stop taking them. Not! I am finally on the appropriate cocktail that works. I am a functional, employed adult. I am able to send my son some money from time to time because I am making the right choices. I am who I am and I finally figured out, that I like who I am. I just wish I would have realized this about 20 years ago..Peace!