Jul 28, 2009


With the early am. sun I realized I am angry at you.
What? Did you think it would be the same here without you?
You were my buddy to laugh with, you got my Deliverance jokes.
Now I am living the damn movie.
There is no one to do "The Happy Dance" with...
The dance we did when the bills were paid and we had a few extra dollars.
Baggy Pants has no one to REALLY talk to.
For some strange reason he thinks you gave better advice.
Go figure.
My mother commented that "I am morose to be around"
Well exscuse fucking me!
I am trying.
I put my makeup on everyday, my happy face and go to work.
I am learning to speak local without sounding sarcastic.
I just wish I knew why I am so angry with you at the strangest times.
Is it because you left me alone and promised never to do that?
I know you didn't do it on purpose, but it still stings.
I am trying, I swear I am, to keep attaining all of our goals.
I will fight the good fight.
I will try to laugh instead of cry.
I will NOT get a confederate flag for the front of "our" house.
Sorry toots...I draw the line there.
I am missing you today.


the walking man said...

Lori...How could you not be pissed at times? Sorrowful at others, fearful at others, happy in still yet others, questioning at others?

This is the nature of grief and you at least are allowing yours to work you to anew reality.

Be morose to be around I live on that street, you can hang out with me anytime, bring BP along (the lad can call anytime, you got the number)...mom, Well we'll just park her in a diner and let the waitstaff deal with her by giving her tea and toast.

Lori said...

WM- I might just take you up on that one day. BTW, my mom is forbidden to eat at my work. I tell her that it is a rule from the owner, no family. My mom is so rude to any waitstaff and it makes me cringe. So she goes to the local waffle house and harrasses their waitstaff. Better them than me. You, morose? Aw, come on. I never would have figured that. You just made me choke on my coffee. Time to go to work and wait on my Sunday church crowd.