Dec 30, 2008

Cobblers and Tailors Thriving!

Watched the news this morning and found a little bit of joy. Guess what? People are now repairing their clothing and shoes. That's right. The cobblers and tailors of our country are reporting that business has increased tremendously for them. The Good Wills and Thrift Stores of America are thriving. Remember patching your jeans? Resoling your favorite shoes? I think it is wonderful. I have children that think cobbler is either apple or peach at your local buffet. The generation of the throwaway nation. Please, that old blouse that you think is not fashionable, donate it. Might keep someone warm this winter. Eyeglasses, coats, hell anything you can think of. The recession is still in its earliest phase. Wait til the commerial loans start crashing. Just like the industrious squirrel stores his nuts for later times, so should we. No matter how bad you think you have it, do a good deed today. Remember is could be raining missles.

Dec 28, 2008

Vitamin D!

My mind is clear. All the Baltimore toxins are becoming a distant memory. It was 80 degrees today. I grabbed an old paperback and layed on my pier. The sun beat down on my bones. Baking in the sun in December is a beautiful thing. I must purchase a camera. There a pictures that need to be taken. Bucolic bliss is a remedy that should be touted more often.

Dec 27, 2008

Wake up everybody!

Everything old is new...timeless lyrics...

Wake up everybody no more sleepin in bed
No more backward thinkin time for thinkin ahead
The world has changed so very much
From what it used to be so
there is so much hatred war an' poverty
Wake up all the teachers time to teach a new way
Maybe then they'll listen to whatcha have to say
Cause they're the ones who's coming up and the world is in their hands
when you teach the children teach em the very best you can.

The world won't get no better if we just let it be
The world won't get no better we gotta change it yeah, just you and me.

Wake up all the doctors make the ol' people well
They're the ones who suffer an' who catch all the hell
But they don't have so very long before the Judgement Day
So won'tcha make them happy before they pass away.
Wake up all the builders time to build a new land
I know we can do it if we all lend a hand
The only thing we have to do is put it in our mind
Surely things will work out they do it every time.

Repeat Chorus

Dec 26, 2008

4am blues

Alas, the holiday is over and I am wide awake at 4am on cup of java numero uno. I haven't decided if my blues are just the wistfulness of another year of that good old American holiday cheer. I remain in limbo. The multi colored dollar store lights are still blinking on and off. I now reside in God's country, the bible belt. We have been embraced by the neighbors. We did get called a Yankee twice so far, but it was all in good fun. This chick can take a joke. Yes, people still refer to northerners as Yankees. The most amazing thing to me is this little town is still somewhat segregated. In order to see people with brown, yellow or black skin, you must go into town. I sense there are unspoken lines here. That will take some getting used to. I personally don't care if another human is magenta. I never have seen color. I see the color of your soul. Anyhoo, another holiday has come and gone. We are still here and well. So are you. I need more coffee.

Dec 25, 2008

Happy Holidays!

I hope that wherever you are spending this day that it is filled with joy and happiness. Last night was absolutely the most beautiful Xmas Eve that I can remember in eons. This move down south was our present. I took my shower, put on my nightgown and we went outside to sit on our porch and watch the dog play. My neighbor strolls over with a bottle of HOMEMADE wine and a doobie. She had her new male companion with her. Sparks up a doobie and hands us the bottle of wine and said, " Here ya'll, welcome to Georgia". It has been quite awhile since I have smoked, but I am nothing but receptive to hospitality. Plus, I have been offered many worse things in life that I no longer accept. We all sat on the porch, told some stories and some jokes and than said good night. The wine was in an Arbor Mist bottle. I drank about 5 sips and weeee..It wasn't like any blush I had ever drank. Oh yeah, they told us to get our butts over to DMV and get rid of them there Yankee tags. That is a quote btw. They said the police are like the Dukes of Hazzard and they are inquisitive about people buzzing about town with Yankee tags. DMV is on the list. Merry Christmas or whatever holiday you are celebrating this winter season. Blessings abound, truly they do.

Dec 23, 2008

I am counting my blessings

I get up around 5am everyday. That infernal internal alarm clock. I watch the sun rise everyday from my balcony while I type. I am blessed. This living on faith has kept my sanity in tact. Do you know how many years it has taken me to mature and realize that I cannot obsses over things I have not control? It is pointless. My rent and cost of living has dropped to about half. I see people here in waaaayyy worse situations then I, and guess what? They still smile and wave everyday. I am learning to invest in my own happiness. I am an easy chick to please. Don't need the fancy bling. I just need a loving person to laugh and cry with. The people who have been married more than two decades understand what I am talking about. I have raised my children to the best of my ability. They are both over 18 and making their own choices. I was not mother of the year. I struggled through addiction for a good part of their earlier life, but I have reached the other side. When I was weak, Kenny was strong and vice versa. There was always a rock of strength in our home. My eldest is in drug treatment, and my youngest wouldn't dream of spending a penny on anything illegal, that money could be spent on a new gadget. Plus, he said the only addiction he can even closely relate to is tobacco, and that is only because some of his friends smoke. I just turned 42 this month and it feels somewhat better than all the other birthdays of years gone by. My mind and will are strong. My freezer is full, my rent is paid on time, a couple more debts are on their way to being closed out. The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind!!! (Yes, that's a movie title) but I have my own personal meaning for that title. Count your blessings people. You might be surprised. Plus I am so happy, no need to say "Fuck" in my blog today...oops..:(

Dec 21, 2008

Chicago-CS&N..does anyone remember Bobby Seale?

Crosby Still and Nash were probably in my top ten favorite groups as a rather young gal. I always thought they were on point politically and aware of the bullshit that came forth from the government. Even back then people's basic rights were being violated. I am pretty sure this song was written in regard to Bobby Seale being bound and gagged, and the ensuing protest. (This concert takes place many years later,this was just the best clip I could find) Do people protest these days? This is a very self oriented generation. I wonder if our laziness as an American population is a small part of what we are now emeshed in overseas, and at home financially. There is also the reality of self preservation. People are scared to get involved. Frightened of rocking the boat. Losing what little bit they have in their lives. Yes, I do have quite a bit of free time on my hands these days, two posts in one hour. LOL..I just know in my heart there is a sense of outrage and a feeling of powerlessness occuring in our country these days. Per my previous post, it is now the little things that are restoring my faith in humanity. The gift of a fruitcake from a stranger. The neighbor that helped me when my dog broke the water pipe and I had a geyser in my front yard. Those are the things that keep me sane and re-affirm that there is still goodness in our nation. The days of protesting are behind us. I don't think the energy is there. We are a blue-ray, bluetooth nation. Not enough minutes in the day to take care of your own. Remember when you have a windfall of good fortune in your life, take a look at those who are in the spiral of despair. Lend a hand.

So quaint and lovely

My husband went into town yesterday to go get his medicine's filled at the local pharmacy. He was delighted. Remember the old mom and pop pharmacies? They are still thriving in our small American towns. Kenny walked in and asked a gentleman if he was the pharmacist. The man said "How are ya'll today, I am Max the owner, it is me and my wife today". He proceeded to go over Kenny's med regimen and than gave him all this welcoming stuff to our new town, including a fruit cake for Christmas, not just A Fruitcake, but "the best darn fruitcake in GA". They still use the old time credit card machines where you have to slide the metal doohickey across the card. Mr. Max also sent Kenny home with an Almanac. This is an American owned and operated business. It is doing well. He was not lying about the fruitcake. Happy Sunday!

Dec 20, 2008

Dateline NBC

I watched Dateline last night and was in tears. Chris Hanson did a piece about foreclosures and it was heartwrenching. The one family that did it for me was a hispanic family who lived in Miami. They came to evict the family, the husband was at work. She was home with their two small children. The sheriff called the man at work and he came right home. This man works for the city, I believe the water dept. Chris Hanson asked him what happened. The man had bought the house and his mortgage was 2,000 a month. 5 years lated they doubled it, 4,000 a month. He had tears and said he simply couldn't do it. They loaded up the car and drove off to go sleep on the floor of a friends house. They showed a man in Vegas, crying on what was no longer going to be his front steps. He just kept saying, "What the hell, my daughter has a loser as a father, a loser, I can't keep a house". I do not have the stomach for this. Yes, we reap what we sow. Some of us have made poor choices. Maybe just one poor choice. What about the poor shmuck who gets up every fucking day and WORKS? Perhaps the collar of his frayed shirt is blue. The farmer with callouses on his arthritic hands, who's crop no longer yields a profit? Do you think the JP Morgans' are concerned? Yes, they bailed out the banks. The banks have money; they are sittting on it and not lending it. I love where I live. I love my country. Sadly I am starting to awaken to the fact that no amount of santizer can clean the hands of those that manage our loans and money. Help must come from our inner core and our belief in the constitution and our rights as Americans. Help will come in the form of neighbors with a roast. The mechanic down the street who will ply his trade to fix your car so you can go look for a job. The community will help the community. I am not going to look to the folks at the top of the mountain. They have nosebleeds and the blood is staining the valley.

Dec 19, 2008

Baggy Pants to the rescue!!!!

The boy is good. I re-installed a clean copy of windows xp, and than encountered tech idiots. I was having trouble connecting to the internet and I am hard wired, so it did not make a lick of sense. Well, the 5th techie told me my media card was destroyed and I must go purchase one. That isn't happening as my money has other priorities. So I get Jesse on the phone and he talk me through installing drivers for sound, video, modems etc. We spent about 20 minutes on the phone last night and he talked me through the drivers installation. Than K switched the ports and bam, no money spent on an un-needed media card, and I have a clean, sweet running computer. This Dell was on the verge of being submerged in the lake out front. J amazes me. How does a kid who can't get up for school, can't cook or wash clothing suddenly turn into Techno Man, cape and all, when gadgetry is put in his hands. He has been doing this since he was 15, built his first computer at 17. When he was talking me through the drivers he sounded like a grown man with infinite knowledge. He said, "Ma, this is what I do". Yes this is what he does and I am beaming with pride.

Dec 17, 2008

My beautiful baby is sick!

Of course I am referring to my Dell. I have been tweaking it and the sad thing is Baggy Pants was always around to snap his fingers and fix it. Alas not now. I believe it is some type of Vundo virus. Kenny swears this is proof that the internet is one big government conspiracy to monitor our actions. Yes, he is schizo, but some of the statements that come from his mouth have a ring of sanity. This is a man who believes google is operated secretly by the "powers that be". Does it really matter? Everything we do is monitored these days by someone. Move across the pond and you are watched on every street you stroll by an electric eye. That is now becoming quite common in the US as well. There are really no woods to hide in, the lens probaby lurks in the leaves. I wonder about these viral infections, web bots and what-nots. Why create a virus? Why monitor my searches? I am a very boring person. Is there a Dell doctor in the house?

Dec 16, 2008

Wants and Warrants etc.

Just when I get settled in I receive a huge sum of mail yesterday. One of which is a court date for Harford County, MD. Turns out I have a civil courtcase today in Md. I owe $869.00 in back child support. That's it. The whole irony of this case is that I have two children. Both of them are from my first husband, who was a drunk. When we split, I kept Baggy Pants aka Jesse, and he kept the older boy Jason. A few years later Jason went to go live with his paternal grandmother. Dwayne, baby's daddy, never paid a dime, worked under the table etc. I worked, I got sued for child support. Jason is 23. I never got ONE penny for Jesse, as his mother always hid him from child support. So I had to pay. I called the courthouse and explained there was no possible way for me to be in Md. today at 1:30, and also told them that I will be able to pay the full amount on January 28th, which will close the case. The agent said she doesn't care, if I am not in court today, there will be a bench warrant issued. This is my question. This is a civil case not a criminal case. Do you think they will pursue transporting me from GA back to Md for $869.00? I have always kept every agreement, paid on time etc. I told her I just got my mail, she said, no dice. I understand she has to do her job and that is fine. Kenny thinks that I will just have an open warrant in Md. and as long as I don't get pulled over ( I rarely drive), I will be fine and we can pay it on the 28th of Jan. I was under the belief that this was paid off, so I was devastated yesterday. I am so happy here and I felt such a release of anxiety. It is beautiful. In about 2-3 months we will be sitting pretty financially. So again, to the few wonderful people who read my dribble, do you think I will be safe for the next month or so until I can pay the money? Do you think they will pursue transporting me? This is making me ill. Kenny said not to worry about things you have no control over. The only way I can change this is through money, which I simply do not have until the date I stated. Just for kicks I looked up some most wanted child support offenders and they owe amounts like, $45,000, $123,000, $10,000 etc. So there is a black cloud hanging over my lake today. I have never not shown up for court. It isn't physically possible. Do you think Kenny is right? I would like to be able to exhale a little. Sorry for not being my normal optimistic sunny self.

Dec 14, 2008

No blue money this year..

The town that we have just settled into has a very depressed economy. The kid that delivered our washer and dryer from Sears is actually a trained pipe fitter, but can't find work, so he lugs appliances around town for a living. This is one of the few places where being on a fixed income brings more security than having a job. My brother works for Bank of America. Lay-offs are pending, and I hope he isn't one who receives that random pink slip. I watch people shop in the grocery stores, picking up items, and than sighing, put those items back on the shelves. Soup and grilled cheese are now on the menu for dinner instead of lunch. Parents trying to surprise their children for the holidays, getting cash advances and car title loans to buy all those presents that are becoming hard to pull out of their ass every year. Hawking the mailman for THE CHECK. Whoring out whatever skills you have to stay ahead of the utility bill. Festivities seem hollow this year. I wonder how merry our auto workers are? Optimism seems to be what keeps me moving forward, yet it is wearing a bit thin. Aw shucks, we are pissin' in the wind and it's blowin' on all our friends. (John Prine has great quotes)

Dec 11, 2008

I am alive and in Georgia!

Thank God, then internet man just left my home and I am online again. I didn't realize how spoiled I have gotten until I spent these last few days without a computer. All is well in the world again. The trip was long and tiring but we made it safe and sound. Everything is unpacked and it is starting to feel like home. I have my computer positioned in my bedroom staring out at the lake in front of the balcony. I feel like a damn princess!!! There is alot to be said for southern hospitality. Every single person who we have spoken with has been pleasant. What a change of pace. Money is rather tight, but all the bills are paid, and moving is outrageously expensive. Not planning on a major move anytime soon!! Still have much to do around the house so I am ending this on a short note. Welcome to the south!

Dec 1, 2008

Georgia Bound Baby!

Yup, Friday is D day. God, so many boxes. I have yet to pack up my trusty Dell. That is the last thing going in the truck. The excitement is unbearable. This time next week I will be gazing at my lake, saying Yes Ma'am just like all the local folks. Love it. My dog is going to be in canine heaven. All that land to explore, plus water. Forgive me for my lapses in blogging, but household duties abound. So this post is rather brief. I am getting the evil eye from my partner, he has been stuck doing most of the packing. Just checking in and letting anyone who reads my dribble that I am alive and well. Godspeed to me and mine!

Nov 24, 2008

When all the pieces fit just right

Some days I just wake up with a sense of peace that folds over me like a nice home-made quilt It is those days when you wake up and the coffee taste extra special, you open the kitchen window and the breeze is cool, not too cold. You turn on the radio and every song is a good one. The mail gets checked and not a bill in the bunch and the mailman is the one who brings your dog milk bones. When the phone rings it is calls from good friends with only pleasant news. No bombs fall on you. The man next door is back on the wagon, so you don't have to listen to the abusive screams resonating through the thin walls. When you are greasing the frying pan to make some over easy eggs, instead of grumbling, you are humming a tune. These are days I cherish.

Nov 23, 2008

Lazy boy

Why do men feel the need to own the remote and the recliner? Is it genetic? My father had a chair. He was a rather large man, and the arms on that lazy-boy were definitely broken. I remember him sitting there, with his remote in hand, delivering his latest lecture on life. I think it goes back to the time of Kings. The Throne. No, I am not speaking about the toilet. Every man wants to be king of his castle. Prince of his palace. All my husband needs is a crown and he is there. I guess my son is the court jester. Turns out in my quest to understand man and his need for a chair and remote, I spoke to many other woman and men. I am onto something here, yes indeed. Yup, I have a chair in front of my computer. It is no throne. Just a chair. Nothing special. My man? Oh yes, he sits on a throne. All is well in my castle until the king loses his remote. A cry emits from the man's chest similar to a war whoop! The troops are called in, (me) to make sure there are no insurgents (my son) sneaking around. So me being the wise queen tell the king he should rise from his throne and look under his buttocks. Aha, mystery solved once again.

Nov 21, 2008

Everything old is new again

After several months on the democratic campaign trail and a bitter battle, at least outward appearances, the young, charismatic man vs. the traditional, yet, politically seasoned woman, we have now come to where the rubber meets the road. The two forces have now joined to fill two very powerful seats in our executive branch. Hilary Clinton is a very smart and talented politician. I think if you gaze deep enough into it you will find that Bill Clinton has spent more time over-seas since he has left the presidents hat behind, to pursue humanitarian issues. So I asked myself are we really getting Hilary or Bill? The Secretary of State seat is the most powerful chair in the cabinet. Not only do they create and negotiate foreign policies, they also have the ear of the president. Again, who is really going to do the whispering in Obama's ear? Maybe Bill will whisper to Hilary?

Nov 19, 2008

Social Obligation

Baby showers, bridal showers, weddings and such. I am not of a fan of these events. I even remember feeling uncomfortable at my own baby shower. Why should all these people feel obligated to bring me gifts? The burden extends beyond immediate family. Nowadays they get lists of co-workers and other acquaintances. Maybe it is because the holidays are looming large, but somehow the art of gift giving seems to have gotten lost. It is expected. You must draw a name at the office, or be a social leper. That takes the joy out of giving to me. Gifts are an intimate item. Something special. Given out of love or the need to bring some joy into another's life. Not because it is good office policy. The best gifts are unexpected. They become treasures. I save cards, mementos. I am sentimental. When my mood becomes blue, those little gifts change the hue of my mood. Shopping under duress is not fun. It equates stress. The obligatory X-mas card list. Every year new names because you fear leaving someone out. Punking out and just getting a stack of gift cards. Where is the joy? This year I will be in Georgia for Christmas. My resolution is the people I love are receiving gifts. My friends are receiving gifts. The local food bank will receive a gift. That is it. Oh yeah, my dog is getting a ton of gifts. He receives his little treats and rawhides better than any being I know. This move is the best gift my family has received in ages. Oh yes, I think what started me thinking about gift giving is attending a friends shower for her upcoming wedding. She opened the cards and didn't read them. Just shook them, waiting for money or gift cards to fall out. Than she said, "Just kidding".. There is a truth in every joke.

Nov 15, 2008

Nicotine Fiend

Smoking is harmful to your health. Yet I continue to do it. It is expensive. A waste of hard-earned money. Puffing away as I type this. We, smokers, are the new social lepers. The signs are everywhere, the No Smoking ban is accepted without much fuss. I never thought I would see the day when you couldn't saunter into the local tavern and not light up. Oh, the times they are a changin'. The pharmaceutical companies are now pushing Chantix. It does have a rather decent success ratio. Just like all the other drugs, there is quite a long list of side-effects. I used to pay good money to be constipated and dizzy/lightheaded. Glad I don't have to worry about erectile dysfunction. It used to be suave to smoke. Now you are a pariah. Imagine James Dean with a nice patch on his shoulder. Not! Please go easy on the judgment when you see the clusters of people huddled in the rain, the smoke swirling around their exiled beings. Say a prayer, and remember, there was a time when that was the circle everyone wanted to be part of. Trendy. Fashionable. I'm in with the in crowd. We've come a long way baby! I think self-destruction is a personal issue. Depends on your method. Free will is a gift we all possess. What we do with that blessing is what makes each of us unique. Nicotine cravings call like the heroin monkey. The opiate demon and I made peace quite a few blue moons ago. Tobacco? When the automatic drip of the coffeemaker starts and I smell the aroma of the toasty roast, my hand start groping for that pack. Where the hell are my cigarettes? Dammit. "What? You ran out of yours in the middle of the night and smoked mine?" Great, fucking great! Sorry, I have to get dressed and go out now. I need a cigarette.

Nov 13, 2008

You've got a friend

How do you define a friend? I have spent many years amongst many folks. The older I have become, the less I use the word friend. I realized there are many people you associate with, or converse with, but that doesn't give them the title of "your friend"..Try going to jail and see how many people accept your collect will find out quickly. I am going to be 42 next month and I can say I probably have two real friends. It is not the quantity, quality is what is important. The two aforementioned friends know me, the good, the bad and the ugly. They are still here. Through all the bullshit and insanity. We have all evolved during the years. Seen each others kids grow up, our husbands get wider, instead of hitting the gym we swap great recipes. My one friend was around when we both wore the trendy Jordache Jeans and yes, we fit into a size 5. That was a long time ago. I doubt those jeans could button anymore. I value the few friends I have. I treasure them. I know who held my hand when they were pumping my stomach because I was positive I wanted to die. Nowadays I listen. Everyone seems to use the term friendship rather loosely. I don't. It is too special to toss around like a basketball. I am blessed in my relationships. I am glad to have people who love me and I make a point of giving myself freely in my friendships. Ok, getting rather sappy here..I do have my moments of sugary sweetness. Must sign off..getting nauseous, lol...Be a good friend...

Nov 12, 2008

Greed, oh lovely greed..

I found this story amidst this mornings news and thought this was interesting. Ironically if the two people originally involved could have been mature and not involved lawyers, they both would have wound up with a nice sum of money and everyone would have been happy. Didn't work out that way...

Cash found in Ohio house's walls becomes nightmare

In this undated handout photo released by Bob Kitts, contractor Kitts, left,...
Sun Nov 9, 6:20 AM EST
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CLEVELAND — A contractor who found $182,000 in Depression-era currency hidden in a bathroom wall has ended up with only a few thousand dollars, but he feels some vindication.

The windfall discovery amounted to little more than grief for contractor Bob Kitts, who couldn't agree on how to split the money with homeowner Amanda Reece.

It didn't help Reece much, either. She testified in a deposition that she was considering bankruptcy and that a bank recently foreclosed on one of her properties.

And 21 descendants of Patrick Dunne — the wealthy businessman who stashed the money that was minted in a time of bank collapses and joblessness — will each get a mere fraction of the find.

"If these two individuals had sat down and resolved their disputes and divided the money, the heirs would have had no knowledge of it," said attorney Gid Marcinkevicius, who represents the Dunne estate. "Because they were not able to sit down and divide it in a rational way, they both lost."

Kitts was tearing the bathroom walls out of an 83-year-old home near Lake Erie in 2006 when he discovered two green metal lockboxes suspended inside a wall below the medicine chest, hanging from a wire. Inside were white envelopes with the return address for "P. Dunne News Agency."

"I ripped the corner off of one," Kitts said during a deposition in a lawsuit filed by Dunne's estate. "I saw a 50 and got a little dizzy."

He called Reece, a former high school classmate who had hired him for a remodeling project.

They counted the cash and posed for photographs, both grinning like lottery jackpot winners.

But how to share? She offered 10 percent. He wanted 40 percent. From there things went sour.

A month after The Plain Dealer reported on the case in December 2007, Dunne's estate got involved, suing for the right to the money.

By then there was little left to claim.

Reece testified in a deposition that she spent about $14,000 on a trip to Hawaii and had sold some of the rare late 1920s bills. She said about $60,000 was stolen from a shoe box in her closet but testified that she never reported the theft to police.

Kitts said Reece accused him of stealing the money and began leaving him threatening phone messages. Marcinkevicius doesn't believe the money was stolen but said he couldn't prove otherwise.

Reece's phone number has been disconnected, and her attorney Robert Lazzaro did not return a call seeking comment. There were no court records showing that Reece had filed for bankruptcy.

Kitts said he lost a lot of business because media reports on the case portrayed him as greedy, but he feels vindicated by the court's decision to give him a share.

"I was not the bad guy that everybody made me out to be," Kitts said. "I didn't do anything wrong."

He's often asked why he didn't keep his mouth shut and pocket the money. He says he wasn't raised that way.

"It was a neat experience, something that won't happen again," Kitts said. "In that regard, it was pretty fascinating; seeing that amount of money in front of you was breathtaking. In that regard, I don't regret it.

"The threats and all — that's the part that makes you wish it never happened."

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
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Nov 11, 2008

Dirt Free Zone

Just got home from work.. I am a scrubbing and vacuuming mama nowadays til I move. Thank God my friend is also my boss and new landlord. Bet your boss doesn't pack you a lunch! It's funny, but when you are in someone else's home, (one that you know you will never afford) it is rather intimate in a way. When you are polishing pictures in a frame, you see their memories, their history. Some homes are fabulous but have no warmth, no soul or personal imprint. Today's lady has a lovely house, but what really makes it nice is it isn't imposing, but showcases who she is. I dusted quite a few porcelain cats..she is the owner of a lame cat. Refuses to put it down and cares for it just like a mother with a child. She is a widow. According to my friend it was her one and only love, and there will never be another. How often can anyone have the peace inside of knowing they had their one true love? Monogamy and family don't seem to be popular these days. How special for her. I handle the possessions with care. They are her treasures that I am cleaning. When we left, the house smelled fresh and gleamed. if only I had the energy to give my own abode the same attention..Have a great evening!

Nov 10, 2008

That scowl will break your face!

I consider myself to be a pleasant person under most circumstances. It does require effort at times, but I try. These days I am noticing many do not try anymore. The bitterness is etched in their faces, from years of disappointments and yearnings that never came to fruition. Trying is pointless, they have already written their selves off. Bankruptcies, bad credit, foreclosures at 50. What's the point? My employer is 58, and currently in the middle of Chapter 7. Busts her ass everyday. Bad choices in men, now she works 6 days a week, from sunup to sundown. She is not bitter. I asked her how she stays so pleasant and upbeat. She replied that if she let the hurts come thru to the surface she would be broke AND lonely. When the work day is over we might only have some extra money to go to the dollar store and piss around but we laugh and have fun. I get it. Others don't. Why be miserable over things you cannot change? I am happy that I have 99cents to get my coffee refilled at 7-11 in the early am. I hold the door for people. I say good morning. I mean it. I watch others hunched over, scowling, never making eye contact with another person around them. Life dealt them a shitty hand. Me too pal...but I know in my heart that if the cards are crap I can always keep my fingers crossed that there will be another deal...

Nov 9, 2008

Sunday Bloody Sunday

Yawn, stretch get the coffee it is Sunday! Was supposed to work today, but the lady canceled so I guess I can clean my own house instead of someone else's. Ah, I hope their is a good waitressing job awaiting me in Georgia.. Housecleaning is a good paying cash gig, but it's not the same vibe as the bar/restaurant. I supposed there are worse things I could be doing to make a living. The packing is mostly done and now it amounts to counting days. Making me crazy dammit. I am ready to go. Sitting here watching the beginning episodes of The Sopranos. The writing was phenomenal back then. Like everything else in life, it starts out so sweet and enticing and than gets you hooked. Well so goes my day today. Hope everyone enjoys their weekend..

Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes when I ponder the mundane things that go on in my life I have little epiphanies..Today it is that we, humans, seem to be quite similar to vultures. Scarily so almost. There are certain people that I know who if you tacked some wings on their backs you would have an upright vulture staring right back at you. Predatory people. Thriving off of others misery. Living off of others assets, than flying off when new and more fresh meat comes along. This is not just in my personal life, but I see it globally. Always seeking new prey. So just because we are intelligent, have tons of gadgets and abilities..makes a girl wonder, how evolved are we? Ah well...can't dwell on these thoughts, I suppose, just protect the nest...

Nov 3, 2008

You don't need to go to Goa

If any of you have ever heard of Goa, where it became very trendy for people to get mind expansion etc...They would travel far and wide to get their mind right...Well someone, A3, wrote a song about it..and I agree....peace can be found within, right at home, at your local church or whatever you pray to.. You don't need to travel to a place to be with gurus and chant and dance in a circle for large amounts of money to find peace...I don't drink those Smart Bar Drinks...Coffee is about it for me...

I believe I'm gonna
Shut down my chakras, shift Shiva offa my shelf
Take down my tie dyes, my Tibetan bells
Cool down my karma with a can of O.P.T.
Ain't no call for Casteneda in my frontline library.

There's one thing I know, Lord above,
I ain't gonna go,
I ain't goin' to Goa, Ain't goin' to Goa now
Ain't goin' to Goa, Ain't gonna Goa now.

Ain't dancin' trance, no thanx, no chance to t-t-tranquilise me.
Ain't sippin' no smart bar drinks, you, that don't satisfy me.
Dosing up my dharma, with a drop of gasoline,
I ain't down with Mr. McKenna, tantric mantra talkin' don't move me.

I don'tn need no freaky, deeky, fractal geometry, crystal silicon chip.
I ain't walking on lay lines, reading no High Times put me on another bad trip.
Timothy Leary, just check out this theory,
he sold acid for the F.B.I.
Well, he ain't no website wonder, the guru just went under,
you can keep your California Sunshine.

'Cos the righteous truth is, there ain't nothing worse than
some fool lying on some Third World beach wearing
spandex, psychedelic trousers, smoking damn dope
pretending he gettin' consciousness expansion. I want
consciousness expansion, I go to my local tabernacle
an' I sing with the brothers and sisters

Oct 27, 2008

Woke up this morning

Feeling the chill in the morning air. Can't wait to get to Sunny Georgia. Spending the day calling satellite and phone providers..all the irritating shit that goes on with moving. They say moving is in the top 3 stressors with divorce and death. They aren't lying. Every company that I call routes me back to my local address in my current state based on my phone number. Tell me big brother isn't everywhere? I am giving the phone a rest for now. Getting very aggravated with pressing one and two for the thirtieth time. Exhale...Exhale....I do not like automated phones. I want to speak to a PERSON!!!!! HELP!!!!

Oct 24, 2008

To all the medics....

Just wondering...

Just looking at some old news stories. Jim Jones. I was very young when this happened. Not really old enough to understand about cults, mind control and all that goes with it. What scares me is how many times in our history similar situations seem to repeat themselves. I think we are so hungry for a better way in this world that if a person with the right charisma, who speaks the words that will reassure us that they can lead us out of the depths of misery to the light, I think "it" could absolutely happen again. Hitler had charisma. Mao Tse Tung had charisma. Kennedy, Martin Luther King, they all had charisma. It's who's words you choose to let inspire you. Before Jim Jones lost his mind, he received humanitarian awards. Lots of CIA conspiracy theories relation to Jim Jones..What never ceases to amaze me is how large groups of people fall under THE SPELL. Simply because they are hearing what they need to hear. People who join The Aryan Nation, fervently believe in the cause that they fight for. What separates you from those that fall into the myth that whomever is preaching at the time? Education, free will? I don't know. I do know one thing. I thank the man who raised me for teaching me that the best gift you have in this world is intelligence and the ability to make decisions. Pick up the pen or pick up a gun? What happens when you can't afford a pen or a gun?

Oct 23, 2008


What is a Freegan?

Freegans are people who employ alternative strategies for living based on limited participation in the conventional economy and minimal consumption of resources. Freegans embrace community, generosity, social concern, freedom, cooperation, and sharing in opposition to a society based on materialism, moral apathy, competition, conformity, and greed.

I watched some videos of "Freegans" and I was amazed at how much waste they are able to utilize. Some call it dumpster diving, they call it gathering resources. Didn't our ancestors hunt and gather? I know from personal experience in restaurant work, the food waste is shameful. I am talking about perfectly edible, fresh food. They also gather used clothing. The people in the video clip I watched were dressed rather nicely, their homes were clean and decorated nicely, all with other people's "garbage". I am a big believer in one man's junk is another's treasure. So here is an applaud from me to all the Freegans of our world who are making their way, harming no one, recycling waste instead of producing more and in their own humble way, making a difference in trying to be mindful of not harming our planet.

Oct 22, 2008

I have issues with this....

If my doctor writes me a prescription, I do not agree that a pharmacist's personal belief's should decide whether he fills it or not. My husband disagrees with me. He is pro choice but he fought in the military for people's freedoms. Although he doesn't agree with everyone's freedoms, you should at least have those rights. I believe in personal freedoms. I respect the right for every American to have a voice. I just can't swallow this one..When I stand there with my prescription and this pharmacist refuses to fill it, than what about my freedom...I know, I know, go to another pharmacy....

Va. pharmacy follows faith, no birth control sales

Pam Semler, of Fairfax, Va., works the register at DMC Pharmacy in Chantilly...
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CHANTILLY, Va. — A new drug store at a Virginia strip mall is putting its faith in an unconventional business plan: No candy. No sodas. And no birth control. Divine Mercy Care Pharmacy is among at least seven pharmacies across the nation that are refusing as a matter of faith to sell contraceptives of any kind, even if a person has a prescription.

States across the country have been wrestling with the issue of pharmacists who refuse on religious grounds to dispense birth control or morning-after pills, and some have enacted laws requiring drug stores to fill the prescriptions.

In Virginia, though, pharmacists can turn away any prescription for any reason.

"I am grateful to be able to practice," pharmacy manager Robert Semler said, "where my conscience will never be violated and my faith does not have to be checked at the door each morning."

Semler ran a similar pharmacy before opening the new store, which is not far from Dulles International Airport. The store only sells items that are health-related, including vitamins, skin care products and over-the-counter medications.

On Tuesday, the pharmacy celebrated a blessing from Arlington Bishop Paul S. Loverde. While Divine Mercy Care is not affiliated with the Roman Catholic Church, it is guided by church teachings on sexuality, which forbid any form of artificial contraception, including morning-after pills, condoms and birth control pills, a common prescription used by millions of women in the U.S.

"This pharmacy is a vibrant example of our Holy Father's charge to all of us to wear our faith in the public square," said Loverde, who sprinkled holy water on the shelves stocked with painkillers and acne treatments. "It will allow families to shop in an environment where their faith is not compromised."

The drug store is the seventh in the country to be certified as not prescribing birth control by Pharmacists for Life International. The anti-abortion group estimates that perhaps hundreds of other pharmacies have similar policies, though they have not been certified.

Earlier this year in Wisconsin, a state appeals court upheld sanctions against a pharmacist who refused to dispense birth control pills to a woman and wouldn't transfer her prescription elsewhere. Elsewhere, at least seven states require pharmacies or pharmacists to fill contraceptive prescriptions, according to the National Women's Law Center. Four states explicitly give pharmacists the right to turn away any prescriptions, the group said.

The Virginia store's policy has drawn scorn from some abortion rights groups, who have already called for a boycott and collected more than 1,000 signatures protesting the pharmacy.

"If this emboldens other pharmacies in other parts of the state, it could really affect low-income and rural women in terms of access," said Tarina Keene, executive director of the Virginia chapter of the National Abortion Rights Action League.

Robert Laird, executive director of Divine Mercy Care, believes many of the estimated 50,000 Catholics within a few miles of the store will support its mission and make up for the roughly 10 percent of business that contraceptives represent in a typical pharmacy.

Whether Catholics will be drawn to the pharmacy is uncertain. According to a Gallup poll published last year for an extensive study of U.S. Catholicism called American Catholics Today, 75 percent of U.S. Catholics said you can still be a good Catholic even if you don't obey church teachings on birth control.

Catherine Muskett said she plans to shop at the drug store even though she lives more than 20 miles away.

"Obviously it's good to support pro-life causes. Every little bit counts," said Muskett, one of about 75 people who crowded into the tiny shop for Tuesday's ceremony.


On the Net:

Oct 19, 2008

Lovely evening

Well, it's official...We went over my friend/boss/new landlords house last night for dinner and sat down and discussed all the basics and the lease is ready. We are signing it November 3. Kenny is going down on November 6, and I am following him in the first week of December. What am I going to do without my man and my dog for two weeks? Ugh...Baggy boy isn't excited at all, but oh well.. He will get over his fear of the unknown, and he will thrive.. He just doesn't know it yet. This is one instance where I do believe this is for our families best interest. So the anticipation is building and the thrill of not being broke is rather exciting. Kenny smokes like a damn chimney, and that alone will save us a ton of money as they cost half the price down there. It's funny, I tried to explain to my family about karma. This friend of mine I have known for about 7 years. She knew me at my worst. No secrets there. No matter how I was living I treated people decently. People remember that. So now here we sit, an opportunity given to me, along with this temporary employent til we move, by an old friend who I always treated nicely. Not easy to explain that to an 18 year old, basically about the old do unto others bit...Those simple rules you learn as a child are life rules...Shame more people don't apply them to their adult lives...Peace...

Oct 16, 2008

How the state can destroy a man with the point of a finger

Here is a story to make you contemplate our justice system...My question is this...What kind of quality of life is this man going to have after being locked up for 20 years for something he didn't do?

By Melissa Harris |
8:01 PM EDT, October 15, 2008

Twenty years after a jury convicted James L. Owens of a murder he said he didn't commit, prosecutors today dropped all charges against him in his retrial, making him the seventh person in Maryland to be ordered freed because of DNA evidence.

The key to Owens' freedom was a sperm sample taken from the victim 20 years ago, before DNA testing was available, that was saved by the medical examiner's office and tested in 2006. The new analysis showed the genetic material didn't come from Owens or his co-defendant, James Thompson Jr., who testified two decades ago that he was present when Owens raped and killed Colleen Williar, 24, in her bed in Southeast Baltimore.

Standing in handcuffs, jeans and a light blue corrections shirt, Owens, 43, expressed no emotion as Baltimore Assistant State's Attorney Mark P. Cohen explained his decision to drop the charges.

Five witnesses, including two jailhouse informants, were dead. Thompson, who recanted his testimony almost immediately after the 1988 trial and whose case is on appeal, was refusing to testify. And Baltimore police destroyed the other physical evidence in the case, including the alleged murder weapon and pubic hair collected from the victim's body because the case had been closed so long ago.

Related links

Sun coverage: DNA used in criminal cases
O'Malley blasts critics of DNA plan

The victim's mother, Carolyn Case, cried as Cohen announced he was dropping the charges. She said the victim's brother had been one of the people to discover Williar's nude body, stabbed and beaten in her O'Donnell Heights rowhouse Aug. 2, 1987. She said he later committed suicide.

"They're both as guilty as can be," Case, 65, said, referring to Owens and Thompson. "Everyone has forgotten about my daughter. ... I have a life sentence."

Cohen initially objected to the release of the sperm sample for testing, but he joined the defense's request for reconsideration after the results came back. Owens, the first person sentenced under the state's life without the possibility of parole statute, remained locked up in the meantime.

At about 11 a.m. today, Owens' attorney, Stephen B. Mercer, entered a prisoner holding area inside the courthouse, and speaking through metal bars, told Owens that he would be freed. Mercer said he replied, "Thank you." Owens was released about 5 p.m.

"That's all he could say," Mercer said. "He has been in jail for 20 years for a crime he didn't commit."

Today, Cohen declined to say whether he believed Owens was innocent. He also declined to say whether he would agree to a new trial for Thompson, 49, who is serving a life sentence, because his appeal is pending before the state's highest court.

Owens' and Thompson's attorneys say that the men were convicted on a false confession, and unreliable science and jailhouse informants.

Thompson, who worked at a gas station, first appeared as a witness in the case. He had come forward with the murder weapon, a switchblade knife, after police posted a $1,000 reward for information.

During questioning, police accused him of participating in the crime, and to save himself, he fingered Owens, Thompson's attorney, Suzanne Drouet, told The Sun in 2006. But while on the witness stand, Thompson - to the defense's surprise - provided information putting him at the scene of the crime.

Mercer said police coerced Thompson's statement by implying that he was in severe trouble but that he could avoid charges by helping convict Owens.

After Owens' trial, however, Thompson was charged. A key piece of evidence at his trial was forensic testimony matching pubic hairs found at the scene to Thompson. However, Cohen acknowledged today that the analysis done in the late 1980s is no longer considered reliable enough to match a hair to a specific person.

Mercer said that the sperm sample has been used to clear one other man detectives identified as a suspect early in the investigation but that it could not be used to positively identify the killer.

"The profile is of the paternal DNA, which is passed from father to son like a last name," Mercer said. "It's only going to put the perpetrator within a paternal line. It's useful to exclude suspects but not include them."

Baltimore Circuit Judge John C. Themelis refused to release Owens directly from the courtroom and instead required him to go through the standard procedure. Mercer said that Owens would not be available for comment today and that Owens' sister, who attended the hearing, declined to comment.

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Oct 15, 2008

Accidents will happen

Yes, accidents will happen...daily...The key for me is to not pop a Xanax when they do fall upon me...Actually doing very well with my prescribed meds. I am making a point of taking some part of the day and claiming it as my time. Too many voices around me, cluttering my head with their nonsense. I have enough of my own thank you very much. It is dawning on me slowly that the outrage I feel at injustice and world events, I can't change. I can only conquer how I handle my feelings about the events. Tragedy befalls everyone. Maturity is teaching me that the ones who make it, are the people who handle despair and feelings of hopelessness with the knowledge that another day will come, full of possibilities that abound. My father's famous words to me from day one were "Everyone must eat a spoonful of shit at times, but it won't kill you"....He was right. And with that I am now going to enjoy some me time...Peace

Oct 14, 2008

Georgia Pics

Here are two really good photos. Just uploaded them...Look at that lake...It is 4 car lengths from the front porch. The outside is getting painted in the spring, everything inside the house is brand new. Ceiling fan in every room. Just thought I would share.

Sign o' the times

Officials: Financial crisis can lead to violence

RETRANSMISSION of a graphic that moved Oct. 7, 2008; graphic shows poll resu...
18 hours ago
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An out-of-work money manager in California loses a fortune and wipes out his family in a murder-suicide. A 90-year-old Ohio widow shoots herself in the chest as authorities arrive to evict her from the modest house she called home for 38 years.

In Massachusetts, a housewife who had hidden her family's mounting financial crisis from her husband sends a note to the mortgage company warning: "By the time you foreclose on my house, I'll be dead."

Then Carlene Balderrama shot herself to death, leaving an insurance policy and a suicide note on a table.

Across the country, authorities are becoming concerned that the nation's financial woes could turn increasingly violent, and they are urging people to get help. In some places, mental-health hot lines are jammed, counseling services are in high demand and domestic-violence shelters are full.

"I've had a number of people say that this is the thing most reminiscent of 9/11 that's happened here since then," said the Rev. Canon Ann Malonee, vicar at Trinity Church in the heart of New York's financial district. "It's that sense of having the rug pulled out from under them."

With nowhere else to turn, many people are calling suicide-prevention hot lines. The Samaritans of New York have seen calls rise more than 16 percent in the past year, many of them money-related. The Switchboard of Miami has recorded more than 500 foreclosure-related calls this year.

"A lot of people are telling us they are losing everything. They're losing their homes, they're going into foreclosure, they've lost their jobs," said Virginia Cervasio, executive director of a suicide resource enter in southwest Florida's Lee County.

But tragedies keep mounting:

_ In Los Angeles last week, a former money manager fatally shot his wife, three sons and his mother-in-law before killing himself.

Karthik Rajaram, 45, left a suicide note saying he was in financial trouble and contemplated killing just himself. But he said he decided to kill his entire family because that was more honorable, police said.

Rajaram once worked for a major accounting firm and for Sony Pictures, and he had been part-owner of a financial holding company. But he had been out of work for several months, police said.

After the murder-suicide, police and mental-health officials in Los Angeles took the unusual step of urging people to seek help for themselves or loved ones if they feel overwhelmed by grim financial news. They said they were specifically afraid of the "copycat phenomenon."

"This is a perfect American family behind me that has absolutely been destroyed, apparently because of a man who just got stuck in a rabbit hole, if you will, of absolute despair," Deputy Police Chief Michel Moore said. "It is critical to step up and recognize we are in some pretty troubled times."

_ In Tennessee, a woman fatally shot herself last week as sheriff's deputies went to evict her from her foreclosed home.

Pamela Ross, 57, and her husband were fighting foreclosure on their home when sheriff's deputies in Sevierville came to serve an eviction notice. They were across the street when they heard a gunshot and found Ross dead from a wound to the chest. The case was even more tragic because the couple had recently been granted an extra 10 days to appeal.

_ In Akron, Ohio, the 90-year-old widow who shot herself on Oct. 1 is recovering. A congressman told Addie Polk's story on the House floor before lawmakers voted to approve a $700 billion financial rescue package. Mortgage finance company Fannie Mae dropped the foreclosure, forgave her mortgage and said she could remain in the home.

_ In Ocala, Fla., Roland Gore shot his wife and dog in March and then set fire to the couple's home, which had been in foreclosure, before killing himself. His case was one of several in which people killed spouses or pets, destroyed property or attacked police before taking their own lives.

"The financial stress builds up to the point the person feels they can't go on, and the person believes their family is better off dead than left without a financial support," said Kristen Rand, legislative director of the Washington D.C.-based Violence Policy Center.

Dr. Edward Charlesworth, a clinical psychologist in Houston, said the current crisis is breeding a sense of chronic anxiety among people who feel helpless and panic-stricken, as well as angry that their government has let them down.

"They feel like in this great society that we live in we should have more protection for the individuals rather than just the corporation," he said.

It's not yet clear there is a statistical link between suicides and the financial downturn since there is generally a two-year lag in national suicide figures. But historically, suicides increase in times of economic hardship. And the current financial crisis is already being called the worst since the Great Depression.

Rising mortgage defaults and falling home values are at the heart of it. More than 4 million Americans were at least one month behind on their mortgages at the end of June, according to the Mortgage Bankers Association.

A record 500,000 had entered the foreclosure process. And that trend is expected to continue through next year, despite the current programs from the government and the lending industry to refinance delinquent homeowners into more affordable loans.

Counselors at Catholic Charities USA report seeing a "significant increase" in the need for housing counseling.

One counselor said half of her clients were on some form of antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication. The agency has seen a decrease in overall funding, but it has expanded foreclosure counseling and received nearly $2 million for such services in late 2007.

Adding to financially tense households is an air of secrecy. Experts said it's common for one spouse to blame the other for their financial mess or to hide it entirely, as Balderrama did.

After falling 3 1/2 years behind in payments, the Taunton, Mass., housewife had been intercepting letters from the mortgage company and shredding them before her husband saw them. She tried to refinance but was declined.

In July, on the day the house was to be auctioned, she faxed the note to the mortgage company. Then the 52-year-old walked outside, shot her three beloved cats and then herself with her husband's rifle.

Notes left on the table revealed months of planning. She'd picked out her funeral home, laid out the insurance policy and left a note saying, "pay off the house with the insurance money."

"She put in her suicide note that it got overwhelming for her," said her husband, John Balderrama. "Apparently she didn't have anyone to talk to. She didn't come to me. I don't know why. There's gotta be some help out there for people that are hurting, (something better) than to see somebody lose a life over a stupid house."

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Oct 13, 2008

Returning from my Georgia roadtrip....

Well, I haven't uploaded the pics yet, but the family and I did the I-95 drive to Jesup, Georgia, and the place was everything we were told it was. I can't explain the words to wake up, stroll out on your front porch and gaze at "your" lake. Definitely enhances that morning cup of Joe. Meeting with our potential landlord to draw up a lease and hopefully by December 5th we will become residents of Georgia. I was "Yes mam'ed in two days more than I have ever been in my life. The cost of living will almost double our pocket money. BTW, for all you smokers out there, cigarettes in South Carolina are between $1.85 a pack - $2.25. That is for top brands. We stocked up on smokes on the way home. We perused the local paper. The police blotter was quite amusing. The weekend crimes consisted of one dog biting another, a woman's ex-husband stealing her electric, and two domestic calls. They also have a baggy pants ordinance there, much to my droopy jean wearing son's dismay. Kenny and I are in love with the place. They do have a satellite dish and dsl, what more do I need? Funny how the things you place value on change with every decade that you are on this earth. Peace and quiet are our number one priorities. Jesse is a little more hesitant, but he did admit he saw the potential. Just finished unpacking, going to head off to bed now. The trip was a success all the way around. Peace...

Oct 7, 2008


I am catching myself referring to people that I have been corresponding with online as my friends. I sat back and actually thought about that word. There are a few, not many, people that are in my life that I would call a friend. However, my internet friends, actually know as much about me as my real-life folks. Maybe more. There is something to be said for dishing with a complete stranger. I can sit here and type in my husband's boxers and t-shirt, drink my coffee and not worry if my hair looks okay as we correspond. I remember a specific act of kindness from an internet bud that touched me. I asked, and with no hesitation, I received help. If I am honest, this individual was quicker to respond than some friends who live one block away. There is alot to be said for intellectual friendship. I like picking others brains. That is how I learn. There are certain people I have met face to face, and due to hours of chatting, we didn't have any awkward lapses in conversation. We just picked up as comfortably as if we were at our keyboards. What does that hold for our future? Webcams and wireless is everywhere. What about the socially awkward? Freedom abounds online for the shy. This blog is my journal, I suppose. Bared soul for the world to see. I don't think I mind...

Oct 5, 2008


My husband loves Court TV. He followed the OJ trial. I must admit, I was quite surprised that they found him guilty on ALL counts. I think the recordings sealed his fate. The gentleman who was the arranger of the whole thing, and was offered immunity, complete immunity, I personally think set him up for personal gain. OJ was guilty of the way he handled retrieving his property. The past seems to be haunting him here. The bottom line is he was found criminally not guilty 13 years ago. The majority of the public didn't agree with that verdict. He was found civilly guilty. I don't think I could have sat on that jury and been impartial. Sorry. In my humble opinion he didn't stand a chance. I am sure his legal team is going to appeal this. Now we shall see what his sentencing is. The point is really moot. OJ is 61 years old. He doesn't have to receive life to actually finish out his life in prison.

Oct 4, 2008

Georgia Bound

Well there has been a new and interesting twist in our life. I picked up a little side job and the woman I work for has a house for rent in Georgia...CHEAP!!! We are meeting her for breakfast tomorrow am. to pick up the keys. I have already seen pics of the place and it is gorgeous, and might I add it sits on a lake. A freaking lake..How sweet is that? The rent is a whopping "ahem" $450.00 a month!!! Her mortgage is only $400 so she is just tacking on the $50. We are driving down next weekend to see it for our own eyes. If the place matches the pictures, guess what? We are moving to Georgia.. Jesup, Georgia to be exact. The master bedroom has a deck that overlooks the lake.. I am excited beyond words. The more rural, for us, the better. I have been researching the little town and I think it will be well suited for us. I am already having visions of drinking coffee in the early morning staring at MY lake. So all fingers and toes are crossed. My mind is now fully occupied. The upcoming election is boggling. So much bullshit. Too much for my taste. Bailouts and blah blah..Congrats for the CEO fucks...

Oct 2, 2008

I got sunshine

Decided I need to exercise... So I joined Kenny on his morning walk, and I feel fantastic now. Been rather sedentary as of late..Not good. So now my new morning ritual includes an hour walk. I have made a conscious decision to start taking care of my health.. Doesn't matter how healthy the mind is if the body is falling apart. I do believe their is some truth to the endorphin theory. Now if I could just quit the damn cigarettes!!! Have a great day people...To quote a good friend of mine...NO FEAR!!! (That is becoming my daily mantra)


Sep 30, 2008

Free Speech?????? What do you think?

SD court asked whether profanity is disorderly

Attorney Richard Fite argues before the South Dakota Supreme Court Monday, S...
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BROOKINGS, S.D. — The South Dakota Supreme Court on Monday heard arguments over whether yelling profanities at a passing police officer is protected speech under the U.S. Constitution.

Attorneys for Marcus Suhn argued the First and 14th Amendments protected him and a misdemeanor disorderly conduct conviction should be overturned. He appealed to the high court after being convicted for a Sept. 2, 2007, exchange with Police Officer David Gibson.

The Constitution gives Americans to express ideas and opinions freely, Suhn's attorney, Robert Fite said. "That right also gives us the right to criticize our government and its agencies without fear of retribution."

But Assistant Attorney General Ann Meyer countered that a lower court judge was right in concluding Suhn's exclamations fell under the "fighting words" exception of the First Amendment.

Meyer also said the disorderly conduct charge was appropriate because Suhn uttered the profanities among a crowd of bar patrons, which created a risk, Meyer said.

"You've got 100 people coming out of the bars who presumably have been drinking," Meyer said.

Suhn, 23, and dozens of other patrons were gathered on the sidewalk in downtown Brookings, home of South Dakota State University and its nearly 12,000 students.

Gibson was on patrol when he saw and heard Suhn let out a string of obscenities that included several derogatory references to police officers.

Fite described the statement as 16 words amounting to profane criticism toward police. The lawyer, acknowledging the decorum of the court, told justices he would not expound unless they wanted him to read the entire quote.

Gibson confronted Suhn, but he was ignored until Gibson grabbed Suhn's arm and arrested him for disorderly conduct for the vulgar diatribe.

Fite argued it was only Suhn's words that prompted the arrest because Suhn had no direct confrontation with the officer, so the fighting words argument doesn't apply.

"I don't think there's any way Suhn can be convicted for speech only," Fite said.

Some justices asked the prosecutor whether there would be more arrests for language that has become common.

"Those particular words during my era, you would get your mouth washed out with soap. Now you hear them on television," said Justice Judith Meierhenry.

But Meyer argued that it was also the context, not only the words, that violated the law and created the risk.

"He just let it fly with his profanity towards police officers and the public and everybody's caught up in it and that's unreasonable noise," she said.

Suhn had been sentenced to 30 days in jail and fined $150, plus court fees. His jail sentence was suspended before he served any jail time.

The high court is meeting this week at South Dakota State University. It's ruling in Suhn's case is expected in several months.


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Sep 28, 2008


Mao Tse Tung said
Change must come
Change must come thru the barrel of a gun- I guess it's all relative...I hope I am not alive if and when a civil uprising happens. Keep fucking with the taxpayers...greedy corporations...nothing is trickling down this a'way brother!!! I don't personally think J.P.Morgan gives a flying fig if someone's mother is losing their home due to predatory lending. We are no longer the moral code that the rest of the globe looks to. This is a very sad state of affairs..Complacency has sunk in with many of us milk and honey raised folk. How many spoonfuls of bullshit must people be fed before they gag and vomit? Change must come, but the mess is so huge and unfathomable. CEO's need their heads, along with their nice pension packages, to fucking roll. This shit is unacceptable. Instead of filling our prisons up with the addicted and weak...start throwing some of the Wall Street Wolves in there. Let them drop the soap every night and yell,"Please, at least use lube"....Where are the consequences folks? Maybe I should open a little business and live way beyond my means and just say, shit, and file bankruptcy.. Wipe the prozac from you sleepy eyes people...listen to what is going on...ah, this is turning into a rant..I am just very disheartened and disgusted...

I love my boy!!

There are moments that you have as a parent that make all the other bullshit seem rather insignificant. It's when they do right. This morning my phone is ringing. It's a gentleman J works with to call to tell him to get ready for church!!!! He had worked till midnight washing dishes. My child is not a rosy, perky, morning dude. Yet, up he got and off to church he went. Well when he came home he had "that glow", the one you get when the service rocks. I let him be, didn't bug him. But damn was I proud. Than, my husband's birthday is tomorrow. Kenny turns 51. This man is not his biological father, he has raised him since he was 4 months old. Took care of him when I went off on the drugs years ago, and has been his rock from day one. We are having a family get together tomorrow in PA with his brother and his wife and kid. Jesse saved up his money and really went waaaayyy above and beyond in his gift purchasing. He snuck out and bought it, on his own. I said, "J, that was so nice"..He just looked at me like I am clueless ( he does that alot), and said "That's my dad, he deserves it"..Those are the moments you know as a mother, that even if you had numerous faults, something got thru. My father, who J adored was a very generous man. So I could see my dad's influence. I am so happy within tonight. All is right in my little families world. I wasn't a perfect mom, I am me, but my son is becoming a decent man, all on his own. My dad always said that parenting was the most thank-less job on the planet..and than he would laugh..I beg to might feel that way at times...but the times that they do what's right, at the perfect time..that is more than's a blessing...

Hope everyone's weekend was wonderful!!!

Sep 27, 2008

One of my favorite lyrisicts ...clearing my head..

Sometimes I need to clear my head from all the clutter and noise..I put the CD in and hit play and for those few minutes, everything is ok, and there is NO FEAR..

Into The Mystic...Van Morrison

We were born before the wind
Also younger than the sun
Ere the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mystic
Hark, now hear the sailors cry
Smell the sea and feel the sky
Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic

And when that fog horn blows I will be coming home
And when that fog horn blows I want to hear it
I dont have to fear it
I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
Then magnificently we will float into the mystic
And when that fog horn blows you know I will be coming home
And when thst fog horn whistle blows I got to hear it
I dont have to fear it
I want to rock your gypsy soul
Just like way back in the days of old
And together we will float into the mystic
Come on girl...

Sep 25, 2008

Take the money and run?

I pray that "our government" makes the correct choice and takes care of the American people. Do you want to stand in bread lines? Have to go pull what little money you have in banks out? Than have to purchase a firearm for your home to protect what small assets you have? One gentleman stated on the am. news that this is going to be just like the movies. The sequel is going to be worse than the original. The Depression. People might think they are depressed and need Prozac now, wait till they are flat broke and hungry.*The Prozac than becomes moot as they will not be able to pay for it*.. Some people can't live without some degree of monetary security. Kenny and I will probably fare ok, because we are used to stretching and scraping. There are certain people I know that will not be able to deal with a reduced financial quality of living. Hang the noose and kick the chair type folks. Shit, we have been fighters the whole damn time, and aren't quitters. Me and mine baby are going down with the damn ship. Fight til the end. I hope those corporate CEO fucks are held accountable for the men I saw walking out of their buildings with all their belongings in cardboard boxes. Disgusting, how much fucking money does one human being need. When do you step back and say " I have been very blessed, my family is prospering, yes I am a lucky one".. Isn't greed one of the 7 deadly sins? My family? We are thankful that there is some ground beef and chicken, milk, cold beverages and coffee and whatnot. I am the one who when you don't have food, I send over a bowl of mac and cheese and some hotdogs, not because we have it like that, but we don't mind eating one less of anything if it means that someone else will eat something. Times they are a changin'..not for the better in my little opinion. Please stay well and safe...

Sep 24, 2008

Mona Lisa's and Mad Hatter's

My favorite story growing up had to be Alice in Wonderland. I believed there really was this magical looking glass. Rabbit Holes..etc. Guess what? I don't think I was that far off in my distorted thinking. When I watch CNN I see a group of Mad Hatter's. Babbling at some charitable tea-party. Dick Cheney is a viable Cheshire Cat. He taught Bush the ‘rules’ of Wonderland. He gave him insight in how things work down there in DC. Smiling and hiding. Than the Queen of Hearts I suppose, would be Ms. Rice.."OFF WITH HER HEAD". For my own mental happiness I am choosing to keep my cherished memories of my favorite book the way it was intended. *Disclaimer- I am now officially a grown-up and no longer follow white rabbits down holes...Peace

Sep 22, 2008

Comedic, political relief

The one upside of all the politicians speaking out about our economic crisis is that it is giving all the late night talk-show folks excellent material. I scouted the web and found some rather tasty morsels..and here we go.

When it comes to the economy, President Bush is no help at all. Like when reporters asked him today, what he thought about AIG, he said he got Showtime and HBO, but he really didn't get the whole package." –Jay Leno

The stock market crashed this week, but market analysts are not calling it a crash. They're calling it a 'correction.' Oh, shut up! A correction. You never hear that at NASCAR. 'Oh, we had a fiery correction on turn three. Four men are dead.'" --Jay Leno

"The Dow went up 410 points today on Wall Street. You may already know, the government has bailed two huge financial companies out, and today, they strongly hinted that they would bail the rest of them out, at taxpayers' expense. It's all part of a new approach our leaders in the White House and Congress are taking to the economy. It's called socialism." –Jimmy Kimmel

"The political campaign continues, of course, for the presidency. This Sunday, the entire hour of '60 Minutes' will be devoted to Barack Obama and John McCain. Yeah. Apparently, Barack Obama will be interviewed. John McCain will fill in for Andy Rooney." –Conan O'Brien

I could copy and paste for another hour or so. I am of the mindset that I would rather laugh than cry.

Sep 21, 2008

Seen True Blood yet?

Sunday nights for me have always consisted of good HBO. For the last 3 Sunday's I have been watching True Blood, right before Entourage. I am hooked. It is about a southern bible belt town that co-exists with vampires. Crazy premise, but it works. The writing is delightful. A sign in front of the local church that says "God hates fangs". Love it. To me it really shows prejudice, this time not based on the color of your skin, but on whether you are mortal or dead. Instead of saying "I hate those fucking (pick your ethnic group)it's " I hate those fucking vampires"...yes, it's tv., but it sure beats watching Marriot's blow up, and political mudslinging. And now I must go cause Entourage is on and I love Ari Gold and Drama. My two weekly guilty pleasures.

Love, Peace, and HairGrease..Susan

Sep 19, 2008

Need an old school laugh this morning?

Not Hershey's!!! Don't mess with my chocolate.

Everyday I wake up I get a bit of news that is quite the surprise. The Today Show did a piece about how a blogger, who's main topic is candy, noticed that Hershey's has substituted vegetable oil in place of cocoa butter. They have neglected to let the public know that little tidbit,unless you get the magnifying glass out and peruse the label. First they they shrink the candy bars to absorb rising food costs, now they are using an inferior ingredient. In the grand scheme of things I am sure candy bars aren't really an issue when our stock market is collapsing. To me though, that is how consumers are slowly getting cheated. Hershey and all their products are part of American history. We are no longer getting the same product that our parents had, and we are paying more. Cocoa butter comes from the cocoa plant, so maybe the CIA is short on cocaine to trade to some poor country for guns. This is my question. If Hershey is using cheaper ingredients in their product, what other companies are doing likewise? How do we know our ground beef is truly beef? Just a sign of the times...

Sep 18, 2008

No more texting while driving the trains folks...

This story is sad, that people lost lives or were injured because the operator of their train was busy texting. We all know people that can't walk and chew gum at the same time. How many times have you had to toot your horn at the driver in front of you to let him know the light is green, because he is so busy on his cell phone? I have noticed more and more shops and stores that have signs posted that they will not wait on you if you are speaking on your cell phone. I think it is important to be focused on the task at hand, no matter what you are doing. There are enough distractions around us daily.

SAN FRANCISCO — California regulators have issued a temporary ordering banning train operators from using cell phones while on duty.

The California Public Utilities Commission unanimously passed an emergency order Thursday to ban the use of cell phones and other personal electronic devices while operating a train. It comes less than a week after a Southern California commuter train ran head-on into a freight train, killing 25 people and injuring more than 130 others.

Federal authorities confirmed that on the day of the crash, the Metrolink train engineer was text-messaging on his cell phone while on duty. Authorities say he ran a red light and slammed into the freight train in Chatsworth on Friday.

Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

Sep 16, 2008

What is going on in this country?

I am not the most knowledgeable person when it comes to politics and Wall Street. I do watch the news every morning however and I am pretty representative of the average Joe/Josephine. Our stock market is plummeting, people in Texas might have to wait another week for a hot meal, and all the other highlights of this mornings news. It is pretty freaking depressing. Than their is the silly news. The mom who impersonated her 15 year old daughter to join the high school cheer-leading team. What was she thinking? Is it me? I just want to live my simple, rather mundane life with peace and harmony. I want to know that my child will grow up and be able to have Social Security when he is done his working life. There are no guarantees in our lives, but I guess as Americans we have always assumed (we all know what that word means), that there would be certain givens. Retirement, SSI, some form of health care, keeping the home you worked your whole life to pay for. That our politicians will fight to keep these givens for us. I am losing faith. Maybe I should just stop watching the damn news....(never)

Sep 14, 2008

Rainy Day Blues, (& it's not even raining)

Got a case of the blahs and the blues....yearning for I don't know what...just have that restless, unsatisfied ache. Sometimes I secretly wish I could just grab a passport and go. Alas, responsibilities and family are binding ties and that would be selfish..Just would like to wake up and gaze out of my window and get a brand new view. The world is so vast. I sometimes think Americans are rather limited in that they think nothing else outside of the USA is worthy or interesting. I know a few people who have never ventured outside of 7 blocks of their home. Have no desire to either. I know, I know, be thankful for my blessings, things could be much worse and blah blah blah...but that thirst for adventure, the unknown, something wicked and wild, is hard to quench.

I hear the train a comin'
It's rollin' round the bend
And I ain't seen the sun shine since I don't know when...

Guess I'll take my Xanax and listen to The Man in Black...that always brightens my day...

Sep 13, 2008

Gotta ? for all you good people

Answer me this...How come the price of gasoline went up 20cents+ in one day because of a weather forecast? I understand they had to shut down some refineries due to an impending hurricane. They also cut the production of crude oil by half a million barrels a day. So even if the hurricane was not to come our trusty oil companies ensured a nice tidy profit. We, at least most of us, have cut down our consumption of gasoline, so what do they do? They cut oil production.. I truly believe this is not a winning battle for the American people. Do we have control of our own destiny? Not if the oil companies have any say apparently. Oil and pharmaceutical companies have such a monopoly that our futures seem to depend on them. That is rather a sad state affairs...

Sep 9, 2008

Before computers? Oh my....

I am back online- on my own computer..Whew...which made me think about a comment MB left on my blog...What did we do before computers? I never realized how dependent I am on electronics until this week. My cell phone is programmed with numbers..Do I actually know the phone number? No, I just know if I want to call Barb, I scroll to her name and hit talk..What would I do if I needed to call Barb from a payphone? I don't know my friends' phone numbers anymore. Not a great feeling. Dependence. I no longer use a traditional Yellow Page phone book..I go online when I need information, any information. This must be such an exciting time for people who work in the science's and computer fields. We now have the ability to create a man-made black hole. So much mathematics and formulas, things I can barely comprehend. The quest for knowledge. The thirst to learn. Fresh bright minds our people have. Our abilities are becoming boundless. The irony is this...My son can tear apart a computer tower, tweak it, and make it something special..Guess what? His handwriting is atrocious. Illegible..However, the powers that be informed me that handwriting no longer matters, as noone handwrites papers anymore. So before the computers MB, my son would have to practice penmanship in order for his schoolwork to be legible. It simply no longer matters..So while I am the first one to admit I am a techno junkie, I do get wistful for certain rituals and rites that have been erased. Time to lay down and dream about 10 cent lollipops, blackholes and modems...Peace and God Bless

The nightmare continues

Well my modem has been blocked since Wednesday. The trusty cable company was supposed to be here yesterday between 7-10am...Grrrr, they were a no show...dispatch said noone was home.. WTF? That's all I had to do yesterday was wait on them. So they SWEAR they will be here today between 10am-1pm..On the positive side I made such a stink I got a $180 credit...Free cable this month. I told the rep it really isn't about the money, I want my damn computer up and running. This to me is unacceptable. Me being the optimistic gal that you know and love, woke up, got some java and I am in "a good place" me and Auggie are sitting here waiting patiently to see that white van with the CABLE logo on the side. He is going to come, right? A corporation that takes plenty of my money would never lie to me, the trusty consumer? Signing off for now, please pray that my next post isn't titled.."Call me Old Blue" God Bless!

Sep 5, 2008

Fighting with my internet provider

The reason I haven't been blogging is due to the idiots at my cable company. We have the all inclusive package; phone, internet, and cable. Well apparently they got confused as my son has his own internet and so do I, all thru them. I wanted a new phone number. As soon as they hooked up my new number yesterday my internet went dead. They then informed me that they now have to send a tech to my house- Sunday. I am an internet junkie, how dare them? They apologized, fed me a bunch of bullshit about the FCC guidelines and blah blah and more blah. Plus, they were charging me for two separate lines, so after Sunday Jesse and I will be hooked up to one modem and lose the extra charge. I believe deep down that all they would have to do is reset my modem temporarily, til Sunday, but they said no, they have to follow a protocol with a new phone number. Mind you they did not tell me all this shit when they said it was no problem to get a new number. So til Sunday I am sharing a computer with my 18 year old son, who also lives online. Not pretty in my house right now...And such is life these days...

Sep 1, 2008

What are words for?

Do we ever really say what we mean? What we truly think? I doubt it. I was raised to hold my tongue. Didn't work too well. If I think it, chances are, it will spew forth from my lips. Not one of my most endearing qualities. Maybe it comes with age, the right to speak your mind. So many people,(just look at politicians) say what is expected, smile politely. I don't think I have the polite gene, except when I am on a time-clock...and that is only out of necessity. Do you think the average Joe would really be happy with the absolute truth? I don't. People like comfort, in their electronic gadgets, home, work, and even if the words are false, verbal reassurance is a great provider of comfort. A spoken Linus blanket. I have great compassion, cry at stupid movies, but bristle at bullshit. Life is too short, ya think?

Aug 28, 2008

Make a grown woman cry

First time I have felt like writing. Had a miserable flu...getting my sea legs back...My son blew me away...cooked me and Kenny dinner tonight..and his burgers were better than mine!!!! Jesse was a restaurant baby from day one..I waitressed with him til the day before my water broke, and was back on the floor 4 days later. Kenny always cooked wherever I waitressed, (we were a package deal) so Jesse learned alot from hanging out in the kitchens. Tonight he really stepped up, funny thing when your baby starts acting like a man. I was truly sick and it was so nice to have someone cook for me. Yes, I am a very emotional chick, with me it's always about the littlest things. That's how Kenny got me, and that's how Jesse continues the cycle. Feeling much better now... Time to catch up on all my favorite reading spots. Have a beautiful, blessed day.

Aug 22, 2008

My little rant

Do you believe people have the ability to change once they are over 40? Or are you of the opinion that a leopard never changes it's spots? I deal with a partner who has serious mental health issues. Everyday becomes a surprise as I never know what drama I am going to wake up dealing with. So many drug cocktails, each with the promise that this is going to be the ONE. The good days are not even fun anymore as I am still dealing with previous hurts from the day before. It is tiring always being the strong one. I like consistency in my life. Kenny does his best to stay to himself on his bad days. I give him credit. He knows when he isn't "right"..It is just wearing thin on my nerves. I am only human, ya know? Just makes me feel better to write it down.

Aug 17, 2008

Do people read books anymore?

As a lover of the written word, novels, poetry, fiction, autobiographies etc, it saddens me to see so many people who simply don't read anymore. Books have always been treasures to me. Once you get lost in the words you can almost live vicariously through the author. I remember when I was 12 reading Judy Blume novels. That and I was a secret Playboy reader. My dad used to leave them in the bathroom for our reading pleasure on the commode. I used to hope and pray that I would grow up and be large breasted and sexy just like those centerfold girls. That is how I learned about my vagina. So many kudos to Hugh Hefner for providing me with the gift that my body is special. I have yet to see my son lounging in bed reading a novel. Saturdays for me as a child were about going to the library and coming out with stacks of books up to my chin. I get rather melancholy, knowing that my love of the paperback, hardback or even a magazine is the one thing my son and and I will never share...

Arcs of life

Today I had the discussion about "The Arcs of Life"...My husband is going to be 51 next month and I will be 42 in December. He believes that with every decade comes a new arc of life. Now mind you I must put a disclaimer here that he does suffer from mental illness, he has papers and everything...anyhow. I agree that we all have different points and periods in our life. I told him that I have a need to work full time, to get out of the house. His depression is overwhelming at times and I need to do something positive, plus the extra money would be a huge help. Sometimes it isn't always about love. I am hoping to lead by example. I am hoping that me being goal oriented and positive will be an inspiration. This is a man who on a good day will make numerous plans, and than follow thru on none. I just know that ultimately I will be responsible for myself. I still have many years of work left in me and I don't want to waste them. Yes, his arc might be different than mine, but I totally understand the worries about aging etc. After 18 years I get it. I also know that in order for me to be totally happy I have to find something fulfilling to do with all my spare time. Sure, I would love to write the next great novel, but realistically dreaming about that isn't paying the bills. So at this current "arc" in my life it shall be about accomplishing the goals I set out for that are attainable.