Soul Searching

When I look at my life I keep wondering where is the reward. I work hard. I am a good parent. I pay my bills. My back hurts from standing on my feet too many hours a day. I get comfort from the dog and the kid (the kid is sometimes). The dog is a constant. Does everyone feel this way? Where is the big life payoff? Is there one? Can someone please tell me when it will arrive? Am I going to be punished for past choices from years ago forever? I feel like that damn hamster in the wheel. Running hard going nowhere. I worked 10 hours yesterday and by the time I left the store and bought what I needed I had $30 left over from $100 made in tips. I am really yearning to travel. I want to see Europe before I die. That is one goal I have set in stone. Homeland is going to give me a damn passport. I just wonder how long it's going to take. I do get to meet great people everyday. The people I work with are starting to become my extended family in a sense. United by the fact we are all schmucks working for god knows what. The ties that bind. We all try to look out for each other as best we can. I have a few good friends that I can count on. I have one family member, an uncle in California that I love dearly and miss. Does anyone have the ANSWER. The big one. What is this all for? Why am I going to work again today? Can someone please remind me? I am very tired physically and mentally. I don't even take the time to pick up the phone and call anyone anymore, as I am too tired. If any of you wise ones out there have any answers to the great mystery of life please do share them.

The insanity of tv.

I happen to have on Maury Povich's show. How can all these women not know who the father of their children are? Why go on a public platform and admit that you slept around and than surprise your partner that little Susie might not be your daughter. I don't think that is for public consumption. We are now a world filled with reality tv. No wonder why so many screenwriters and tv writers are out of work. They can find some whacky family and follow them around with cameras and call it a "show". This shit sells magazines and makes the news. It is a sign of the times. I believe some things in this world are sacred and private. It is getting ridiculous. The only tv I seem to watch these days are A&E and the Discovery Channel. I like alot of the series of HBO and Showtime. I am starting to think the days of the sitcom are dead and gone. Just like many other things. All in the family are to busy with their blackberries to have Happy Days. Peace.

People

In my 42 soon to be 43 years on this earth, I have learned there are certain people who are truly meant to be alone. They wreak havoc everywhere they go and everything they touch turns to shit. The reverse Midas touch. Somewhere inside my heart I believe we have a responsiblity as human beings to show compassion and care for others. Whether it is holding the door for someone, smiling at another person. Anything to improve the quality of another's day. The reason Denny's is open on Thanksgiving besides the fact alot of folks don't want to cook, is the other reason. We get alot of seniors who come in alone as they have no family. They sit alone and eat their dinner. We, the servers, are the only ones they have to spend the holiday with. Whatever happened to a sense of family? Taking care of your parents? It seems to be all gone. I see it on a daily basis. It is rather sad. We have this one elderly man who eats all three meals at our restaurant. Where are his kids? Try to be kind to someone today. You never know how much it might mean to that person...