Apr 16, 2009
A world of tubing's and gauze. Liquid food. Aspirating. Sleeping with one ear open. Noone prepares you for this. One day a bomb gets dropped on you and you simply must find your way in a new maze. I am told this world will be temporary. 6 more weeks and it shall end. The power of radiation. Sounds like amazing stuff. I shall soon be seeing blisters and lesions to prove it. To see the humbling of another human being who is dependent on you totally for their care is heartwrenching. I have conquered every demon in my life. This demon is scary because is doesn't come from within me. It is an invading life sucking force. Cancer is a motherfucker. Sorry, just seems like the only appropriate word.
Apr 12, 2009
Happy Easter or not, whatever your beliefs. My mind is focused and my soul is at peace. I found a hospital 3 hours away. Proper treatment is happening, the ball is rolling and that is really all I wanted. You hurt anyone in my family I grow a set of testicles that would shame King Kong. Since my stay in the southern bible belt, I have learned to tone my tongue and make an attempt at being lady-like, at least while I am on the time clock anyhow. Just for today I am learning that I still must laugh, and take care of me. Laughter is the best therapy. When that doesn't work there is the occasional benzo for relief. Just to know that I am mature enough to only take them as needed is a big kudo for me. My important job is to keep Baggy Pants in check and his spirits up. This kid doesn't share feelings. Big tough guy. (As his mother, I beg to differ). Every family needs a rock to lean on. I have done enough self-absorbed leaning on others throughout my life. It is my turn to be the rock for others. Be blessed in all your ventures and please be thankful for whatever you have and even what you don't. It's all a big shell game. Peace!!!