Jul 4, 2009
Been a crazy week. Oodles of stress. I go through "withdrawal" if I don't get my am time to myself to write. Especially when I come home from Baltimore and arrive back in Georgia. I looked around at Baltimore through clear eyes this week and I know in my heart that is just isn't the place to get to where I need to be. I am really waiting to see what's up when my friend moves down here and opens up that recovery house. That is the first thing that has sparked any interest since I have arrived here. I wish I could get out of this slump. Work is about money. It gives me purpose. What happens after I punch out? I am tired of shopping. How many pocketbooks and shoes does one chick need? I have clothes. Don't really need them, as I don't go anywhere. So for now I shall just try to keep focused..Eye on the prize. I just wish I knew what that prize was....Peace..
Jun 29, 2009
My older son aka The Panhandler came to visit me this weekend with his girlfriend. My first thought was lock up the checkbooks and medications in the house. Yes, I did. He had left Baltimore a few months ago after detox and moved to Florida to start fresh. My son and his girlfriend arrived here at two in the morning. My boy is really and truly CLEAN. He looks amazing. Gained 40lbs and is tan and healthy. They were headed back to Baltimore because his girlfriend is homesick. She is detoxing off of methadone. On her own. She is a beautiful girl. Her plan is to work and save money for two months so they can get an apt. My son is worried about this. Baltimore is bad news for him. He asked me if while he is waiting for her to "do her thing", can he come stay with me. I do believe I might say yes. Baggy Pants looked really happy to see the two of them. He can smell a rat from a mile a way, and he knows his brother and girlfriend are clean. He just wants to be somewhere he feels safe. He doesn't want to sit idle in Baltimore while she works.. The only "friends" he has are addicts. So I think I am going to take a chance and give him the safety of my home. There is no heroin in this whole little Mayberry town. This is tentative. So we shall see. But I had the proud moment of seeing both of my sons together, laughing and getting along. After all the pain, it did my heart some good. Here is to new beginnings.