Reasons and seasons

I am learning to take my happiness wherever I can. In minutes sometimes seconds. The older i get I realize the big reward is nil. I will work, sleep, eat and do it all over again. It's the joy of the journey. The people I encounter. The music I dearly love. The people I love. Been grieving alot lately. June 1st will be one year since the death. Spring was our time. We gardened, walked the dog, cooked out. Simple, mundane things that equate joy to me. I have never been a high maintenance chick. I can't imagine doing it all over again with another human being. I do ponder it sometimes. Relationships are alot of work. 20 years is alot of history with one person. Maybe there will be someone out there for me. I don't know. It is not a pressing issue. Only the man above knows what my destiny is. i wish he'd give me a damn hint. Like, "psssst, be at the bookstore on Sunday morning, and you will meet a new life partner." Something subtle like that, lol. i make love in my mind, with memories and the occasional cheat. I need a man with a brain. I can put up with mild neurosis's as I have a few of my own. I need someone who can make me laugh so hard I almost pee. I need someone who thinks I look beautiful with no makeup and sweatpants. Must love dogs. Someone who is passionate about food. Wait a minute this is my blog, not a desperately seeking ad. Well at least I am starting to figure out what I like, at 43. Do we really know what this journey has in store for us? Maybe that's the reason I have been seeking. Stop looking for that HUGE REWARD, and exhale and make the most of my journey. Peace!

Fresh Attitude

Well today I am going in for dayshift after my two day suspension. I am not going to be bitter or nasty. I know who the snakes are. It's my fault if I go near them. I think the troublemaker underestimated just how many friends I have at my job. The owner told me time will catch a thief. So I am just going to do me. I don't own the place. The state gives me and my son health benefits, so I am done being Mother Theresa as my boss calls me. I have rent to pay and bills. That won't happen if I get caught up in the wrong mix. Life is full of lessons and I guess I just learned another one. Have a great day all.

My life could be worse I suppose...

Vindicated

Back to work tomorrow. Spoke with the owner and I am getting a write up for letting other people in my drawer. I'll take that over being accused of being a thief. My feelings were very hurt. I shall now be leaving my feelings at the time clock. We all joke that we are going to the snake pit to work. There is a truth in every joke. I will always persevere. You can't win if you quit. So here is to a new day and some temporary peace of mind. Can't count on it always being there, but I'll take peace of mind whenever it wanders my way. PEACE!

Suspended

Well I haven't been in a blogging mood as I am currently suspended until my owner calls. I take the shift that noone wants and I get screwed. They are having a meeting as I type. There is a girl I work with on that shift who is known thief. Well I was in charge of the register on Saturday graveyard. My drawer came up $100 short. She is very threatened by me, as all her regulars are my old regulars. He put me on the shift to clean up the bullshit. These are my regular days off anyhow. He is going to call me tomorrow. They are having a meeting as I type. Sigh, being dedicated is a thankless job. I shall update the verdict tomorrow.