Being a parent

Just got off the phone with Baggy Pants. It's 9 degrees in Nashville. Hahahahahaha. He got snow first. Maybe I am pre-menepausal, but everytime we talk I cry. He hates it. I miss him. I miss his presence. Being the brutally honest human that I am, I know in my heart I failed him many times when he needed me. So I overcompensate as often as possible. Our family put the fun in dysfunction. You might catch us on Springer, NOT. Kids just want to feel safe. I miss the smell of his dirty socks and this is fucked up folks. They stink for real. I don't care. They are part of him. He invited me to Nashville for the holidays. Tears were just running down my eyes. They might cut the umbilical cord in the hospital but guess what? The cord is always there people.....

And so the holidays are upon us...

I am back. It feels good. I had to do alot of soul searching in the last few months. I literally could not write. My fingers would freeze everytime I would stare at this blog. Now they are nimble again. Go figure....Thanks to everyone who showed care and concern.

It is still very early and peaceful. One of the problems of me being in this house is that it is really too big for me. Baggy Pants moved to Tennesse to be with his true love and is doing well. i have two rooommates. I know I am helping in this economy. Plus to hear a human voice now and than is nice. We are a house of 3 women plus a couple kids trying to make it from one day to the next. I have met many new people on this journey of mine to find peace. I realized I am blessed. My life could be much worse. So I shall keep swimming in the muddy waters of life until I will hopefully attain the clarity I yearn for. Peace! Great to be back. Now let me read what everyone else has been up to....