May 2, 2012
Do Da Da Da
Who got the hooch, baby? Yup, that's what I'm listening to this morning. I have to share...I got a rockin' ego boost last night. A young, (young) attractive guy comes on our porch and is trying to get us to sign up for an alternative energy source. No money, just a sign up. Very good salesperson. He is from Jersey. So we all exchanged information. Tina and I told him we would think about it and call him tomorrow (today). I'm laying in bed and I get a text message; from the "energy guy". He texts me and says "Do you have my number? I was just making sure" I said yes. He than says, "By the way, you have really pretty eyes." I didn't quite know how to take this so I just typed back "Aw that's so sweet to say". THAN, he ask me, "Are you single"..Whoaaaa....I am now flattered but taken quite aback. I said yes, but how old are you. He says, chuckle old enough to know better. Turns out he is 24. I told him that he is two years older than my younger son. He tells me I will get past that. Really now? This guy is very confident and assured and impressive, but he is 24!!!! I actually had a thought, nah, yeah..and than decided to take it as a complement and let him know it was ok, but I can't date someone who is 24, plus he is my neighbor. I told him how good-looking he is and that he can have any girl he wants. Told him I was going to bed. He says good-night hun...I said goodnite Mr. Jersey. I pictured Kenny (my late hubby) laughing as he used to call me Mrs. Robinson when I worked at Denny's. All the young boys would come hang out in my station.
At 45 I look at the beautiful young women of today. The girl across the street is 12, but has the mannerisms of about 17 and the speech, everything. Not in a trashy way at all. I feel sorry for the young men of today. They better check ID. So, yes, it did really make me feel good. I can't lie. (Only when I have to). When I thought about it I could almost visualize a nice soft porn movie. Young man knocks on older woman's door and gets invited in and the clothes fly and well, we have all seen that movie. That's where my mind was last night. (I will do the walk of shame, but you can't see it)
Sigh...I'm getting older. 99% of the time I'm fine with it. Every once in awhile I will see a carload of 20 somethings and get slightly wistful. Wistful for the the innocence, the carefree feeling that anything is possible in this world because I am invincible. That is what I miss. Lately the carefree feeling is coming back, because through time I have learned that anything IS possible. Through maturity I realized that I am not invincible. Today I am in a good place. Wishing the same for everyone else. Peace!
At 45 I look at the beautiful young women of today. The girl across the street is 12, but has the mannerisms of about 17 and the speech, everything. Not in a trashy way at all. I feel sorry for the young men of today. They better check ID. So, yes, it did really make me feel good. I can't lie. (Only when I have to). When I thought about it I could almost visualize a nice soft porn movie. Young man knocks on older woman's door and gets invited in and the clothes fly and well, we have all seen that movie. That's where my mind was last night. (I will do the walk of shame, but you can't see it)
Sigh...I'm getting older. 99% of the time I'm fine with it. Every once in awhile I will see a carload of 20 somethings and get slightly wistful. Wistful for the the innocence, the carefree feeling that anything is possible in this world because I am invincible. That is what I miss. Lately the carefree feeling is coming back, because through time I have learned that anything IS possible. Through maturity I realized that I am not invincible. Today I am in a good place. Wishing the same for everyone else. Peace!
May 1, 2012
Creeping in my room..
I hear the pills rattle in my purse...
a safe jingle jangle
a reminder that I won't be in pain.
I am on pain management. Have been for a few years. When you are put on pain managment you must sign a contract basically stating that you are responsible for your medication and will safeguard it and not abuse/or divert it.
Well for the last month I have noticed that things have been moved around in my room, small things. I didn't pay much attention as we have just moved into a new, relatively big house. Than one morning I woke up to take my Paxil and other meds when I noticed one of the bottles had its lid put on upside down. That is how my sis in law caps her medicine. It bothered me, and I was puzzled on how to approach her. I thought I would give her an easy out. She woke up and we had our usual morning chit chat. I looked at her and said, "Listen this is bugging me and I know I went to bed early last night" "Did you grab any of my anxiety meds, I will understand if you didn't want to wake me?" She denied it and told me we should keep an eye on her son, my nephew, who has in the past, gotten both of us for a pill here and there. She said she could tell if he was messed up...I said ok, but I knew the way she put her lids on her bottles and kept thinking, not nephew, it was his mama.
An hour later she knocks on my door crying. She said, "I'm a horrible mother, blaming my son for something I did".. She is crying telling me how sorry she was etc etc...you know how it goes. So now I am carrying my pills everywhere I go until I get a new safe today. I was so damned hurt. Still am. She is 52 years old. She is my family through marriage. We used to work together and I introduced her to my brother in law whom she married. She is one of my best friends, despite small squabbles, usually over daily life, bills etc. Now I feel violated. The tears she shed were genuine. I saw the shame that all addicts have when they are confronted. I wish she never put me in that position.
Time to chug this coffee and get ready to go to my local Wal-Mart and get a shiny new safe. (This will now be the 3rd safe I have bought) Better safe than sorry....Peace!
a safe jingle jangle
a reminder that I won't be in pain.
I am on pain management. Have been for a few years. When you are put on pain managment you must sign a contract basically stating that you are responsible for your medication and will safeguard it and not abuse/or divert it.
Well for the last month I have noticed that things have been moved around in my room, small things. I didn't pay much attention as we have just moved into a new, relatively big house. Than one morning I woke up to take my Paxil and other meds when I noticed one of the bottles had its lid put on upside down. That is how my sis in law caps her medicine. It bothered me, and I was puzzled on how to approach her. I thought I would give her an easy out. She woke up and we had our usual morning chit chat. I looked at her and said, "Listen this is bugging me and I know I went to bed early last night" "Did you grab any of my anxiety meds, I will understand if you didn't want to wake me?" She denied it and told me we should keep an eye on her son, my nephew, who has in the past, gotten both of us for a pill here and there. She said she could tell if he was messed up...I said ok, but I knew the way she put her lids on her bottles and kept thinking, not nephew, it was his mama.
An hour later she knocks on my door crying. She said, "I'm a horrible mother, blaming my son for something I did".. She is crying telling me how sorry she was etc etc...you know how it goes. So now I am carrying my pills everywhere I go until I get a new safe today. I was so damned hurt. Still am. She is 52 years old. She is my family through marriage. We used to work together and I introduced her to my brother in law whom she married. She is one of my best friends, despite small squabbles, usually over daily life, bills etc. Now I feel violated. The tears she shed were genuine. I saw the shame that all addicts have when they are confronted. I wish she never put me in that position.
Time to chug this coffee and get ready to go to my local Wal-Mart and get a shiny new safe. (This will now be the 3rd safe I have bought) Better safe than sorry....Peace!
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