Glass

Yup, this is my new job. I am loving it. We are brand spanking new. It is called The Glass Grill. The owner's son has a gallery and glass blowing shop right next door and everything is incorporated together. And I think it's going to work. I always go with my intuition and I have been in the business almost 20 years. The husband came in last night and checked it out and he was genuinely impressed. The owner's are very gracious, pleasant people who I think have a plan in mind for their family and I want this to work very much. Last night was slow, but I still made good money from the tables I waited on. The crowd we draw is the "right kind". I don't mean that in a snotty way, just that you won't be stepping over passed out people on the floor on your way to the ladies room. To me, the "right crowd", is one that is pleasant, enjoys dining out and trying new things, isn't afraid to spend a few dollars on what they want and just has a fabulous time. The bar is definitely nice, very cozy, lighted properly, and very good choices on the jukebox. So wish me well on this new serving endeavor. I want this place to be The Place!!!! Oh yeah...here is one of my oldies but goodies, hopefully I will get to see James Taylor this summer

And I feel fine....

Michael Stipe is one of a kind. Huge fan...Do you ever notice how there are certain musicians or bands that just hit that chord within you, and you just know instantly they are great? That is how I felt when I first heard REM. Their sound is so unique and I don't think has yet to be replicated.

On the home front, things are pretty dark. I am up early because it is nice and peaceful, plus I have been laying off of the Xanax. I have a feeling I am going to need all the clarity I can muster. The shrink, who also treats my husband, gave me a textbook on paranoid schizophrenia...to help me better cope with Kenny. It helps to understand it, but doesn't make it any damn easier to live with. So my decision right now is to take care of me and my responsibilities. The grand opening of the new restaurant is tomorrow, which is also my second shift there. The place is beautiful, the menu is great and I am keeping my fingers crossed. The big attraction is the glass blowing shop/gallery next door. That is what the owner's son does for a living and seems to be very successful at it. So I just hope it isn't too upscale for this side of town. This part of East Baltimore isn't very "trendy"...I am hoping that good food, wine and service will speak for itself. All the key ingredients for this place to be successful are in place, plus the decor is all the hand-blown glass, hence the name, The Glass Grille. If I were a customer and sat at the bar I would definitely feel very comfortable. I think cozy and clean is a good way to describe this restaurant. My main goal right now is to pay off past debts, become financially independent and stay relatively grounded and centered. Baby steps, right?

Well, it made me feel all warm and tingly, to know that someone out there in this big 'ol world read something I wrote. I think I will make it a point to start commenting on blogs that I have been lurking at for quite awhile. Spread the warmth and whatnot...Kenny took my mom to the hospital today to get her finger operated on. I know this may sound harsh, but she confided in me that she only did it because they are now making her use her computer at work to keep records and she hates it. She is 64 and has been at this company for 12 years. Mom is not a team player in a work setting. So rather than adjust to the new way of doing things, she gets a finger operation...She is a rather classic example of someone who has grown older and more bitter with each passing year. We share a house with her as she can't afford to live alone. I try to tell her to find joy in simple things. I am now learning that you can't make someone change who is content the way they are. But that is why I stay in the basement most of the time where my computer and tv are, it is the sane place in the house. I have quite the candle fetish, so there are always different scents filling this room while I am online. I think whether you are married or single everyone should have a space that is THEIRS, and only theirs. In 17 years I have never went in my husband's wallet, just like he refuses to go in purse, which he is welcome to, but he thinks a woman's purse is private so even if he wants a piece of gum he will walk my bag over to me, but to this day won't go into it. ughhhh...they just pulled up out front so I have to go for know..

Tell me baby do you need my love?//

Still love me some Jimmy Page...since way back when....I always thought he was hotter than Robert Plant...but than I was never a big fan of blonds, always liked men with dark hair, dark and troubled men. That is what I have been trying to explain to my younger "nice" brother. I told him that girls under 30 don't appreciate nice men. Now this is just my opinion, but I believe I am right. Once you are over 30 your life priorities change and all of the sudden you realize that bad boys are a pain in the ass to have a relationship with, and that all of the nice guys you blew off you wish were still around. There is alot to be said for peace of mind and stability. Trust me, I am living with a man who has 13 personalities, ok I am being facetious, but right now I would be so happy with some simple peace of mind and happiness....

Slap me with the splintered ruler....

Well my first night went really well. I go back Tuesday night. It was so nice to work at a clean place with nice food.. Everything is presented in a very attractive manner. It was me and this other chick named Brandi(y) and she was decent to work with. Jeremey is the manager and he also, is very nice. Much more upbeat than the typical dirty diners around here. Right now on my benzo mission. Waiting on the doctors phone call now. Meanwhile, Kenny sleeps away on the couch. He simply doesn't care about anything anymore and it is making such a huge hole in my heart. He likes the room to be totally dark, no sunlight, no lights on. I live here too dammit. This is where our TV is and my computer is. I need some sunlight in my life, something cheerful or I will fall right in with his depression and wind up in a hospital again with my fuzzy slippers and bathrobe. Doesn't he understand? Help!!!!!

London Calling or anyone calling,....

Another favorite of mine. I wish I could find some new bands that could make my heart pound or at least get my panties wet....Just medicated my self to get ready for work tonight. Barb stopped over last night. Spent all of her money..sigh...when will people learn? I called her to come pick up her phone. I got a really nice new cell phone so I am giving her my old one so she can save money and not have to buy minutes constantly. Speaking of wet panties Kenny and I have not been having sex hardly ever. I am getting sooooo frustrated. I actually watched porn on the internet last night and was surprised how turned on I got. I have to do something about my sex life, boyfriend/girlfriend, sigh, I really want to stay faithful but how much longer can someone go without sex. I wonder if there are other married couples out there living without sex? I still have so much wildness inside of me that is not getting fulfilled. We talk about it and he claims he is in a depression, plus he is diabetic and his medication makes it hard for him to ummmm be hard...Also in his depression he hardly ever showers or shaves anymore, bordering on gross. I know that sounds mean, I love him, but God I miss sex.....What would you do?