Now I know why the rent is so damn cheap!

You, too, can live in bucolic, rural beauty at a fraction of the cost of glamorous big city living. Just one thing. DON'T GET SICK!!!!!!! I think I could go purchase a lab coat and a stethoscope, get a sign and hang it on the hinges of my front door and hang a MD license on my wall fresh from my Dell printer and do a comparable or perhaps better job than certain ones I have met. I will not be blogging for about 2 days as I have to travel to get healthcare for my family member. I love my house, the lake and the quiet. Right now I would trade it all to be within 10 minutes of a John Hopkins facility. Very angry and frustrated. Learning words like trach, gastro and radiation. I know that anger comes before acceptance, but right now I need to get through this anger phase. My 65 year old mother can't even find a doctor down here because none of them accept Medicaid. Cash only. So I will be very busy between work and driving back and forth. I am taking tons of vitamins and supplements. The terror of being sick without adequate medical facilites nearby is scary. Please keep my family in your prayers.

Common sense is the best sense

Well I have been trying to find some solitude to write. I was blown off all day yesterday and reached the point where enough is enough. My family member is en route as I type to Augusta Ga to the closest VA hospital. They didn't want to be 3 hours from home, but I am tired of the lack of care in this rural area. This local hospital simply isn't equipped to give the treatment needed. Maybe if you need a few stitches or you break a leg, yeah, than they are fine. Anything else, nada. Mind you, they rushed me to get in there and had me pay out of pocket to get all these tests done. Once they received my money, no one will talk to me. Spent the day yesterday doing tons of online research and after much thought decided that is what the VA is for. Medical care for veterans who have served this country. I wish there was one closer to home, but there isn't. The only other VA hospital is in South Carolina. I guess the one thing that Baltimore did spoil me with was health care. I was always near John Hopkins University or a satellite thereof, or a VA hospital all within 20 minutes of my old house. This growth in the throat is getting larger daily. I have watched a loved one lose 25lbs in 3 weeks. They are no longer able to swallow anything except liquids. The local doctors are like, just hang in there and we are waiting for tests. Sorry, that is unacceptable in my book. This growth is starting to interfere with their breathing ability. I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent person, so with my lay men's judgement I made the VA call and pray it is the right one. It has to be better than nothing happen and everything staying static, yet the tumor is growing. So someone that is very dear to me is now three hours away, but in my heart I know that the ball will start rolling and the treatment that is needed will at least begin in someway, shape or form. Forgive this next snotty comment, but I really think that in this little town they are used to people seeing a white coat and the word Dr. on a white lab coat and accepting whatever is being told and just saying "Yes, ma'am or sir", no questions asked. Sorry, but God gave me a brain and I am not the one to be spoon fed horseshit. Whew, feel much better that I got this off my chest. The crazy train in my brain has finally slowed down and I am able to regroup and think. If anyone who reads my writings please, trust me, don't be afraid to question something if it doesn't feel right. God gives us intuition for a reason. That little voice is there for us to listen to. This is my last posting for about 3-4 more days. Thanks for the support of everyone who reads, comments and even those who lurk. My prayers are with everyone.

Taking a breather

Well, I am trying to keep the peace in my head, by dealing with what is dealt to me on a daily basis. The cancer diagnosis will be official on Monday. Next step is the treatment plan. I have learned one thing in life and that is some things can change, others can't. So just for today, I am going to live my life as normally as possible, enjoy what simple pleasures I have and regroup. To conquer any beast in life you have to be strong. Worrying myself to the point of no sleep and not eating is not going to help anyone. In order to take care of another human being you must take good care of yourself first. I don't mean that to sound selfish, it is just advice that has served me well in the past. I am in a strange area with doctors that I am unfamiliar with. They are moving this process along so quickly that I haven't had time to truly absorb the facts of the matter. Monday morning I am getting on the phone and start doing what I do best. Research. If you have to fight an enemy you need to have as much ammunition as possible. I want to read and absorb and much information as humanly possible. I am a fighter, have been my whole life. I want answers, but first I need to know what the questions are. Everyone of you who reads my writings, the support I receive is so important to me. I am being sincere. So for now, please just continue to offer support and prayers.