How long does it take to rise above a past track record?

Here is my question of the day....How long does it take people to stop judging you on your past track record? I am speaking personally of myself. I am now on 1/8 of my prescribed meds, which is a huge accomplishment. I have not used illegal drugs in many, many moons. I am on a diet, trying to eat healthier and blah blah blah...In 6 months I have lost 30lbs. I am 5"8 and weigh 159. Yet, I still run into people and see "that look"...and it is infuriating. I know...why care what other people think...But don't we all just a tad deep down inside? I think this geographical move is going to be the best thing in the world. I have learned to not share so much of my personal past with people. It usually bites me in the ass somewhere along the line. I tend to be a very upfront and blunt person. Life is too short for bullshit and all that superficial crap. I tend to take most people on face value. I tend to believe in intuition as far as making assessments of my fellow man. There are three sides to every story, his, hers and the truth...that is one of the principles I try to remember daily. I was quite the mess in my twenties, and yes, even my early mid thirties...People who meet me nowadays would have no clue...actually would be rather shocked. I am 41 and make a conscious effort daily to be a decent person. Shouldn't that be enough? I did receive a rather interesting piece of advice from a galpal...and I quote..."If I don't sleep with you and you don't pay my bills, than why should your opinion matter?" I can actually forsee myself mouthing these same words to certain people who need to hear them, and I think it might feel wonderful to say them out loud...

Ta ta Lori

Just take those old records off the shelf

I was going thru my downloads and just realized I have quite the music collection. Very diverse and eclectic...Frank Sinatra, Elvis Costello, Johnny Cash, REM, the list goes on and on. Which made me think about my younger days when I had stacks, and stacks of 45's. My son has no clue what a 45 is. One of my favorite pleasures as a child was to save up my little bit of money and get the new 45 or album that currently rocked my world. God, I wish I had saved them. I had EVERY Beatles and Stones album. Now I am 41 and just click on Limewire, and there it is. Very immediate and gratifying, but somehow not the same as going to your neighborhood joint and spending your afternoon looking at all the choices...How many of you remember using your albums to clean your weed? Makes a girl sorta wistful for her younger days I guess. My son would never get it...he is all about Ipods, MP3 players etc... he is very computer proficient, to the point it amazes me. He has surpassed me. Isn't that every parents dream? I just wish he would know what it means to turn the album over..Sigh...Ok, I need to shake off this nostalgic feeling. I just have seen so much technology in my own lifetime, I can't fathom what my own child will see in his coming years. I just pray that it is good...


Lori

My father

I was thinking about you this morning
with your ill-fitting pants, unkempt hair, and your strong, resonant voice...
Even though you are gone, a few years now,
I just wish you knew
all those words and sermons and preaching that you did,
pretty well for an atheist I might add,
I still hear those words....
I get it....alas, a day late and many dollars too short, but, I get it...
I should have listened more and talked less....
You would be proud tho..
Your grandson knows how to unit shop,
and everytime we see Tussy deodorant..we laugh...
When I see new shoes, I always smell them,
because "they have to be genuine leather"
I savor flavors of all kinds,
you did love a meal, no?
Perhaps a little too much..
You were quite the "nosher"..
You were a very loud man in life...
your voice echoes daily..


Susan Lori R.

George Carlin...no more...

My heart is heavy...this man made me laugh...out loud...I "got" him and his humor. I cried when John Lennon died, and I just cried when I found out George Carlin died...one of a kind, the man was....one of a kind...shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. If you have to ask, you never knew....

Tales from the crypt...

Haven't been blogging much as of late as we have been packing and living out of boxes. Yup, we are getting ready to make the move to the country. We were supposed to be moved on the 19th but the landlord pushed the date up to the third-so here we sit, surrounded by cardboard, slightly anxious, and ready to go. According to some survey I read, moving is up there with divorce and death as far as stress. I believe there is some truth to that. Thanks to the man who walks for giving me some much needed encouragement to get out there and just do it. I can't wait to wake up and see trees and here birds singing, instead of worrying about getting bit by rats at night when I take out the garbage. Ironically all of our neighbors have just put the for sale signs out front of their houses too. The worst part is that the prices they are asking for, are the same prices that the homes went for about 10 years ago. My immediate neighbors are moving to North Carolina. They have a little kennel going, they breed German Shepherds, very nice family...a young couple with three kids...time for them to fly as well. My neighbor on the other side is moving to West Virginia. It is rather sad to see our neighbors fleeing...It is the end of an era...the majority of the families who live here are now 55years+ in age and on SSI and or pensions. What is going to happen to this community when all of us leave? My intuition tells me that the times they are a changin'....and we are a movin....


God Bless All Who Read...Lori