Jun 29, 2009

The Visit

My older son aka The Panhandler came to visit me this weekend with his girlfriend. My first thought was lock up the checkbooks and medications in the house. Yes, I did. He had left Baltimore a few months ago after detox and moved to Florida to start fresh. My son and his girlfriend arrived here at two in the morning. My boy is really and truly CLEAN. He looks amazing. Gained 40lbs and is tan and healthy. They were headed back to Baltimore because his girlfriend is homesick. She is detoxing off of methadone. On her own. She is a beautiful girl. Her plan is to work and save money for two months so they can get an apt. My son is worried about this. Baltimore is bad news for him. He asked me if while he is waiting for her to "do her thing", can he come stay with me. I do believe I might say yes. Baggy Pants looked really happy to see the two of them. He can smell a rat from a mile a way, and he knows his brother and girlfriend are clean. He just wants to be somewhere he feels safe. He doesn't want to sit idle in Baltimore while she works.. The only "friends" he has are addicts. So I think I am going to take a chance and give him the safety of my home. There is no heroin in this whole little Mayberry town. This is tentative. So we shall see. But I had the proud moment of seeing both of my sons together, laughing and getting along. After all the pain, it did my heart some good. Here is to new beginnings.


Lou said...

I know this tentative place between hope and fear. I believe it's an individual call, guided by your intuition and gut.

I listen to other's opinions, but in the end I make my own decisions.

My son is estranged from his sister because of the things he has done to her and the family. That is between the two of them. I hope they make peace, someday it will be all the family they have.

Gin said...

That is absolutely wonderful. It is great that he is thinking ahead and doesn't want to put himself in a situation that won't be good for his recovery. It really shows that he is on track! You must be so proud.

Lori said...

Lou- The difference between my two boys is amazing. Ironically Jason grew up with "everything" material wise and turned out to be the one who chose the heroin path. Jesse lived the addiction with us and hates drugs. To be in a room with my children together, and they are getting along is priceless.

Gin- Nice to meet you. You are so right. He really wants to stay out of harms way and for that I am proud. Thanks for stopping by.

A. Miles said...

Hey, I found your blog through Lou's.

When I was serious about getting clean, I began to think about effects of my every move. This is a good sign.

It took me 5 years to move back to my hometown. Now that I'm back, when I visit a place where I got high, it doesn't tempt me in the slightest. This recognition just comes in and out of my mind and I move on.

I look forward to reading more posts!

the walking man said...

I'd be more concerned with her return to B'more than his staying in GA. For the very reasons Jason doesn't want to go back there.

Lori said...

A.Miles- I, too, can visit my hometown without the slightest thought. I am 42 and my playing days were mostly hardcore about 10 years ago, than trickled down to dabbling and than just stopped. You are right, in the early stages, every move you make must be thought out..nice to meet you..


That's his thoughts exactly. He is only staying one week. He called me last night, he just finished his drive north and said that he no longer considers Bmore his home. He said it still stinks like heroin to him. He is probably going to be back down here with me and stay for about a week, clear his head and go back to Fla. He said maybe this is God's way of guiding his away from where he no longer belongs. Yeah, I live in the boondocks, but there is NO heroin here. For a recovering addict that alone is peace of mind.

Brother Frankie said...

great news, just passing thru via lou..

"There is no heroin in this whole little Mayberry town"

there is always heroin, or pain med opiates... dont fool yourself. its there. and you would be surprised by who is using it, selling it, addicted to it..

like yer place here,

you are loved
Brother Frankie
A Biker for Christ

Lori said...

Brother Frankie,

Nice to meet you... down here it is pain meds. Which are just a subsitute for heroin. It's insane. But I have noticed that alot of true heroin addicts have that needle addiction, which without the heroin, at least makes people not as interested. Nice to meet you.. I love bikes btw...and Christ...