Nov 19, 2009
When I look at my life I keep wondering where is the reward. I work hard. I am a good parent. I pay my bills. My back hurts from standing on my feet too many hours a day. I get comfort from the dog and the kid (the kid is sometimes). The dog is a constant. Does everyone feel this way? Where is the big life payoff? Is there one? Can someone please tell me when it will arrive? Am I going to be punished for past choices from years ago forever? I feel like that damn hamster in the wheel. Running hard going nowhere. I worked 10 hours yesterday and by the time I left the store and bought what I needed I had $30 left over from $100 made in tips. I am really yearning to travel. I want to see Europe before I die. That is one goal I have set in stone. Homeland is going to give me a damn passport. I just wonder how long it's going to take. I do get to meet great people everyday. The people I work with are starting to become my extended family in a sense. United by the fact we are all schmucks working for god knows what. The ties that bind. We all try to look out for each other as best we can. I have a few good friends that I can count on. I have one family member, an uncle in California that I love dearly and miss. Does anyone have the ANSWER. The big one. What is this all for? Why am I going to work again today? Can someone please remind me? I am very tired physically and mentally. I don't even take the time to pick up the phone and call anyone anymore, as I am too tired. If any of you wise ones out there have any answers to the great mystery of life please do share them.
Posted by Lori