Sep 30, 2009

My first day out.....

Today is a big day for me. Doctors, job hunting etc. I am weary of boxes and bubble wrap. I have Kenny's urn on the built in wall shelf next to my bed. ( I like that feature, lots of space for books, nick-knacs etc. I woke up this morning and looked at that urn. We used to rent this house. In 2003. Now I am here with our son. Jesse was disgruntled at first. "I don't want to rent a basement apartment". Now he is coming around, the more it looks like a home. He got to see all his little girlfriends. I shall see my girlfriends today. I learned that home is where you do lay your head. Jesse and I are together. We have cable tv, internet and gas and electric all included in our rent. Everytime he call this his house I remind him who pays the bills. He gets that grim look on his face. I just want him to realize that coming up with the bill money every month is no joke. He is talking cellphones, school and work, in that order. God to be 19. He is overcoming Kenny's death very privately, in his own way. Kenny was not his biological father. He raised him since he was four months old. So to me, that was his father. Kenny was the more stable parent during the addiction years. It has taken J a lonnnnggg time to learn that my word is good. Kenny taught him the ultimate life lesson. All a man has in this world is his word and his balls. Jesse believes in this. Jesse has a very strong belief in God. That is the one thing we share. Free will, choices and faith. I think that is a good foundation for new beginnings. God Bless All..

3 comments:

the walking man said...

Where ever home welcomes you you are welcomed home.

there is a bit more to it but balls are not a bad place for a young one to start.

Lou said...

You're home! I'm happy for you.

I love getting to know your family and how the past shaped you. Jesse is going to be just fine. God bless your other son, and mine too.

Whitemist said...

You have much to work with, bless you!