Insomnia

My eyes are wide open, yet my body is so tired. So I said fuck it, I'll write. My mental health has improved to the point that the gloom and doom has lifted. (Might be the Paxil) I spent the hours between 3am til now cleaning my bedroom. The lights are out and my lone candle is burning. There is something peaceful about laying in bed in total silence dumping my thoughts. I had some girlfriends over tonight and we watched a movie and chilled. For the first time in my life I realize that I am no longer someone's wife. I have been married twice, although the first one was just the sperm donor for my boys. I am now 43 and alone, but blessed with good friends. My kids are grown, or so they think. It hit me tonight that I am now accountable to ME. It's like putting your favorite shoes away in the closet and breaking in the new ones. The blisters are starting to heal. Peace.