Have you ever been overwhelmed by your blessings? I woke up this morning and did something I haven't done since I was down and out. I hit my knees. This time to say thank you. Things are falling into place. J is doing great. I feel like he actually believes I am clean and sober. I have a job that I like for the most part and I have people around me that I love. Every other time I hit my knees it was in my most desperate moments- strung and sprung. I woke up and felt pure joy so it just dawned on me it is good to hit your knees to say thank you when things are going well also.
I also realized that anti-depressants have a purpose and they don't work if you start and stop them. No more spiraling up and down. Level is good. I do believe you can get addicted to chaos. Normalcy seems strange at first. Now I love it. Just being me. The world in all it's other craziness can't touch what's inside my heart and spirit. Peace