Well this is my first post on my new blog. I had started a myspace blog, but I really couldn't be honest, as too many people know me and yet there are things that I don't want them to know. I am 41, live in Baltimore Md. I have struggled with addiction for so many years, right now I am currently doing only my prescription drugs, methadone and Xanax. I have been on pain management for almost 3 years now. It is working, but I think simply you get to the point in your life where after the rehabs, prisons, losing everything you simply retire from the life of ripping and running and street drugs, and concede and switch to legal, prescription drugs to maintain some kind of sanity in your life. That seems to be what I have seen as I get older. In my twenties I was a balls to the wall kind of girl, well now that I just turned 41 my balls seem to have shrunk, quite a bit. It has taken me 10 years to get out of the legal system, with all the paroles and probations. Yay!!! I saved my green parole card and put it in my scrap book, as it was the first time I ever successfully completed parole. I give kudos to all the people who can stay straight in NA, but I have never made it with out opiates, and now on top of that, the benzos. I do pretty good at managing my meds, except for the first day I get them filled. Then I become Xanax, princess warrior, with my methadone sword...and god does it feel good. Than the rest of the month I take them as directed, pretty much...and do the daily grind of life. I don't know if anyone is ever even going to read this, but I just need one place where I can be honest and express all the weirdness in my mind. Here is to a good start....
Lori
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