Jul 17, 2009

Sorry...

I wish everyone knew how much that one word can mean. Sorry. Sadly some people use it way too much and don't mean it. Years ago a man I loved very much got down on his knees, tears streaming down his face. I saw guilt and pain and shame. I also saw love. He uttered two words- "I'm Sorry"...I weighed 98lbs. I am 5"8. He was sobbing. He was trying to apologize for introducing me to the devil. He didn't know that I was already hard-wired to fall in love with the devil. He scooped me up and drew me a hot bath. I hadn't showered in two days. He lathered my hair and washed every nook and cranny of my body. He fed me bananas and orange juice. I couldn't walk. I was hallucinating. I was exhausted. I healed over time. When I close my eyes I still hear and feel those two words, "I'm sorry". The reason I feel them is because when they were said, they were meant.

4 comments:

Lou said...

I think you are working through some real stuff here..and that is good.

I believe no one "makes" you dance with the devil. It would have found you with or without him. Maybe not that particular devil, but another one. Like you said, you were hard wired.

Lori said...

That's my point. All these parents want to blame "the other party" for introducing little Johnny or little Suzy to a demon. What they fail to realize is, in the beginning it is a choice. Plain and simple.

the walking man said...

At least you learned how to distinguish the shit from the shinola babe...everyone walks a road and it is theirs to walk. You're paving yours straight and smooth step by step.

Lori said...

Thanks for always having something wise to say and giving me constant encouragement. Been busy working, it's the weekend, fighting the blues.