Aug 10, 2009

I love you, my son.

You are the love of my life.
Big blue eyes, dirty blond hair and sometimes dirty clothes that I wash.
You have seen the good, bad and ugly.
You have also witnessed the beautiful thing called unconditional love.
That is what I have for you.
Who makes the best iced tea and macaroni and cheese?
That's right, me.
You said, "It just tastes like mom".
I get it.
I wasn't perfect.
Still working my way through this life, now minus one.
Give me a break, please.
If I had a cape, I would stop a moving train for you or a speeding bullet.
Sadly, I don't own a cape, just a waitress apron and sturdy work shoes.
I am hurting too.
We show our pain very differently.
Same goes for how we show our love.
The love is there, forever and always.
Give me a chance. Let me get you where you need to be.
Let me be your mother and love you.
I cherish you hugs good night and when you tell me your are proud of me.
I am fighting the good fight kiddo, that's all I know how to do.
We shall heal together- in our own ways, at our own pace.
I love you with everything that another human can fathom.
Give me a chance, please.
My heart is still broken and tender, I am just not "tuff" like you.
Your tears are private.
Mine flow at the drop of dime.
I love you.

6 comments:

avoid and distract said...

This was touching. Poetry is such a good release.

Lori said...

avoid and distract- Thank you. I write much better than I speak. Even if my boy does not ever read what I wrote, it still made me feel better to express my truest feelings. Thanks for stopping by.

the walking man said...

N matter how grief is gone through Lori, it is a process and every one goes through the process in ways only they know. You go through yours and he will go through his. In the end though there will still be mother and son.

Brother Frankie said...

nice, thank you..

Lou said...

That was truly heartfelt. I bet he knows a lot more about how you feel than he lets on. And for sure he knows about the unconditional love part.

Thanks for your comment on my birthday post. I value your opinion.
I'm glad I didn't sent the letter. It would not have done anything but hurt feelings more.

Lori said...

Mark- You are right, in the end, it will be he and I, on the other side. Thank you.

Brother Frankie- Your welcome.

Lou- Someone told me that mother's and sons share a unique bond. I believe that. Just like my boy, Andrew knows you love him. Andrew needs to learn how to really love Andrew, than everything else will truly fall into place. Hope your birthday was super.