Mar 15, 2010

The Dark Side

Every once in awhile the dark side comes through on paper. This is one of those times. Right now everything is bleak and dreary.. I am overworked, underpaid and tired. Not just sleepy tired. Life tired. I am sure if you could see my aura right now you would see shades of grey mixed with black. I hate feeling like this. Right now I hate feeling. The smart part of me tells me this too will pass. The tired part tells me that this is just a never ending painful journey, will more loss to come. Work has been horrid, money wise. My dog is gone. I miss the smell of his wet fur and his cold nose. He knew all my secrets. All his fur held every tear from Kenny's death. The bills are piling on and I don't even care. I keep wondering when "it's" going to get better. My gut tells me it's going to be quite a long time. I guess I am just tired, plain and simple. My pillows and blankets look so inviting. I want to stay there. For a long time. I need to get my mind right and out from under this money mire. Me and the hamster have alot in common. That damn wheel we share. We both run and go nowhere. Enough depressing blather for now. The bed and pillow are winning this war.

6 comments:

Whitemist said...

Most of us know this place well, it does pass, but when we are there we feel it never will. I do nit even know what will help, but there are people from afar who do care enough for you to tell you this

早餐 said...

閒暇為所有財富中最美好的財富........................................

the walking man said...

Just hang on babe, the ride may seem to be whirling faster than you want and your grip may be slipping a bit but then in the end when the damn thing finds it can't throw you off it will slow down to a more manageable pace and then you will find that your hand is on the control. Just hang on best as you can for now.

Lori said...

Whitemist- Thanks for you care and concern..Just been feeling rather bleak...

WM- I am hanging on Mark, trust me.. It just gets hard at times...

Sarcastic Bastard said...

Lori,
I have a crazy suggestion. If I were you, I'd go out and get another dog. I know that you cannot replace your beloved pet, but it would serve as a positive distraction right now while you are so down. When I have lost dear pets in the past, it has helped me a lot to get another one to love and focus on.

I love you dearly. You are in my thoughts.

SB

Lori said...

SB- You know, I think you are right. I was telling my brother at first I was offended by the idea of another dog, but than we decided to go to the humane society this weekend and pick up another stray. Auggie was phenomenal and he was a stray. See, I keep telling you great minds think alike. Plus, I need a snuggle buddy...I just hope I can find a dog that I click with...Thanks so much. I love you dearly too..