Mar 30, 2010

The Sacred Day Off

Ah, I can exhale today. It was sunny all day this past week. Of course on my day off-RAIN. I don't care. I have a secret to share with you readers. I started a new med regimen. Paxil. Yup, and you know what? The stuff is working. I 'fessed up to my doctor that I have been incredibly depressed lately to the point where it is starting to interfere with my daily living. I had stopped taking all pysch meds about 3 years ago. Been through the gamut. Lithium, Depakote, Zoloft and Effexor. This is the first one that has actually made me feel "better". The problems are still the same, but I don't sit here and dwell on it anymore. I am always the first to make fun of all the new happy meds they have nowadays. Ironic huh? I just felt myself slipping into this dark hole and it was getting bad. I wouldn't say I was suicidal, but I was questioning what the purpose of life is. These feelings just wouldn't go away. I had a hard time getting ready for work. I didn't want to take phone calls. I simply didn't want to do anything. It's been one week now and I am starting to come around. The darkness is turning into light. I am starting to feel more at peace. So if taking this pink pill everday is going to help, I shall continue. I am going to cook a nice meal for dinner. I am going to try to make each day a better one. Here is to optimism and hope! Peace...

5 comments:

Kathy M. said...

Your list of meds sounds a lot like my daughter's I'm so glad you have found something that works for you. For my daughter it was such a frustrating trial and error process. And it takes so long for each new med to kick in, before you can even assess whether it helps or not. She never found the right combination. She always just seemed to get the side effects and would abandon meds altogether.

Lori said...

Kathy M.- Hello...It is trial and error. Just like your daughter I abandoned meds many times. It has been quite a journey finding one that has made a difference. Sometimes I feel like doctors are just throwing darts at a dartboard hoping they hit the bull's-eye. I emapthize with your daughter. I wish people didn't have to feel like guinea pigs when it comes to medication. Thanks for stopping by...

Sarcastic Bastard said...

I'm glad the Paxil is helping, Lori. It's good that you were proactive and did something about your funk. Life is too short to be unhappy all the time.

I have been on and off antidepressants since I was in my 20s. In the winter, I really NEED them.

Love you.

the walking man said...

good for you Lori. whatever it takes to bring the balance back.

Lori said...

SB-I have read where alot of people really get depressed in the winter months.. Seasonal affective disorder? This is the first one that doesn't have the bad side effects like all the others. I am starting to become my old self again which is a good thing.. Love you back...

WM- I require balance in my life. If not everything is out of whack. So if this is going to work, I shall stick with it...