I just noticed..

Do you remember the first time you noticed your parent/s were aging and or old? It just hit me this morning with my mother. She now walks with a cane. It takes her two tries to get up from sitting down. She is now going to the hospital tomorrow for a catherization to check a blockage in her heart. I realized this morning that she just might not be around forever. Kenny always told me that no matter how much you might differ or argue with you mother, that once she is gone, it is an ache that lasts forever. I am learning to cope with grief. There are no words. I believe now that time is the only healer, no matter how trite that may sound. I find comfort in memories, songs and photos. I am now trying to prepare myself for the fact that my mother might only have but so many years left. My husband took me totally by surprise. I think that made it harder. Death came quickly, a thief that dashed in and out and took my heart. My mom is now talking about wills etc. I dread these conversations. I know they must take place. So for today I am trying to enjoy our time together and make each day count. Peace.