I am alive....

Yes, it's been a long time since I have posted. The journey has gotten hectic and strange but I am still here and now have time to write. So far I have learned that in the end the only person I can count on is me, myself and I. That's it. People come into your life for a minute, a season..always there seems to be a reason. Right now the person in my life is decent and is turning out to be a good friend. Since Kenny has died, *June 1 will make it 2 years*, I have been used and screwed by numerous so called friends. I am very cautious with my new friend. We are roommates. I don't know how we wound up being together but it is what it is for the time being. I guard my heart with all my might. I can't take any more hurts. The one thing I have noticed is that greed and envy seems to be at the root of most ill will. The better you do for yourself, the people that should be happiest for you are the ones who show that envy. So now I am just going on down the road, trying to make the most out of each day. What else is there to do? Peace...

The early morning bliss

This is my time of day. Switching roommates today. This journey has been an interesting one. New roommates is my age and going to truck driving school. The best perk is she has a gorgeous dog that reminds me so much of Auggie. I think this is the best choice I have made so far. It's been a long strange trip with many interesting people since Kenny has died. This girl and I have alot in common plus no more married couple drama. I felt like Dr. Phil listening to them banter back and forth. I am a pretty isolated person, especially since Kenny died. I work and sleep and watch bad tv. That is my interesting life. I need a roommate who will let me be. If the cost of living wasn't so high in Baltimore I would get an efficiency an live on my own. The next best choice is to find a roommate and split expenses so you can have a few dollars in yor pocket. The saying you really don't know someone until you live with them is very true. People come and go in your life for a reason. Some you are just happier to see go..Peace...

A day off, wow!

This feels like heaven to me. An actual day off from work. I slept til almost 3:30pm. this afternoon, as I work the graveyard shift. I finally have felt like sitting down and writing for a bit. It's ironic, but the most dependable employees at the restaurant are over 40. If I here one more 20 something say how sore and tired they are I am going to scream. What do they know about achey bones? Wait til they are 44 waiting on tables. I am building up my regular clientle again. They are one of the main reasons I enjoy going in. They keep me sane. Evidence of how shitty the economy is these days is very obvious in my check averages. We have a 2,4,6,8 menu. Most people are now ordering off of that. I wait on people after they have worked an 18 hour shift and fall asleep in the booth while they are waiting for their food. I did do my good samaritan deed for the week. A young man who works for the railroad left his wallet. I turned it it, money and all. He was shocked and grateful. So there are some of us left who are honorable. Be kind to your waitress when you go out to eat. She might be as tired as you are. Peace...

been so long

I have never worked this much or this hard like I have been doing now. By the time I get home from work in the morning I am dead tired. I have had no energy to write, let alone accomplish anything. So I sat down this morning and told myself to use the damn keyboard and write no matter what. I do know that I miss writing here, it is simply a matter of stretching my brain and time. Not in that order, but you know what I mean. I hope everyone in blog land is doing well and keeping their heads above water. That seems to be how the general public is surving. Keep on plugging folks..that is what I do..Peace.

Early am. babble etc...

This is what happens when you have too much time on your hands. You think about EVERYTHING. I have a few people on the planet I can call friends. Have you ever been friends with a couple? It's not always easy. Especially when you and the man get along and have much more in common than the woman. I love the female part of this couple. We are just very different women. I became friends with her husband first. He was a godsend at a very difficult time in my life. I have always gotten along great with men. I understand them. Women are fucking crazy. I know this. I am one crazy female myself. P, the female, is the most wonderful, loving wife I have ever met. She is a sweet person. Heart of gold. M, the male is also a caring loving, intelligent man. She loves him unconditionally. He loves her too, but God does he love women. Women other than his wife. I can separate sex and love. So can M. P, wants the traditional man, good husband and all that jazz. I have learned that what works for some people doesn't work for others etc. I have also learned the older I get to keep my mouth shut. Have you ever met someone so sweet and genuinely good that you would never want to see them hurt? That is how she is to me. They are also my new roommates. Hence, another reason I am learning to mind my business. She welcomed me into her home no questions asked and that touched me. Her husband told her I am a good person and she didn't hesitate. Certain qualities she possess amaze me. This world is not the most loving place to be. You really do stand alone. Since the death of my husband I have had a whirlwind experience in learning to stand on my own to feet. I have met some of the most fucked up human beings ever, and also conducted myself as such. The fact that two "strangers" would welcome me and my emotional train wreck into their home and treat me like family astounds me. That big house was too much for me. I am much happier here, renting a room. I am content and safe. So, I know this turned into one big ramble, but that's where I am at this morning. Too much caffeine. Oh yeah, Happy Superbowl Sunday to all you people who care about football. Peace!

If you need to laugh...

Two words- Jim Jeffries.

Because I am not able to sleep...

After midnight television bursts with idiotic commercials/infomercials. So far I have learned that you can order little white adhesive pads for the bottom of your feet to remove your toxins. I am able to chat with numerous attractive people in my local area for just a small fee. My favorite though, has to be with the the people who think they can take this one pill and BAM!, enlarge their penis....for fuck's sake. Really now...so for anyone out there who feels the need to take aforementioned pill, click below...bad tv is why they invented Xanax!!!!