You're all I need .....

Fightin' the cash flow blues...Counting my blessings..My family...Kenny and I have been thru so much together...I don't even know where he begins and I end...we are that tight..Scary sometimes...Somedays you want to strangle a person, the next day you wrap you arms around that same individual. Love to me is a huge paradox. Love/Hate...the finest of all lines..especially after 18 years.. many hurts, much happiness, fountains of tears, the music of laughter, especially the laughter. That is what makes me sane. Do I cry or laugh? I myself prefer to laugh. Kenny is the only person on this planet who can make me smile when I am ill, unhappy or just being a mean bitch. This man has the patience of a saint. No matter how hard I push, he pushes right back. He challenges all my bullshit, and I love him very much for that. When I get too cocky he tells me to put my other head away. When I stood in front of him and swallowed 90 Xanax..he choked me, even tho I begged him to let me die. Later when I came home from the hospital I asked him, "why did you let me live"...his answer was simple.."I love you, and you will not leave me until it is your time"..This was a time when I was convinced I really didn't want to live. Thankfully that has passed. I wouldn't speak to him for a week because he had me revived. He never gives up on me. I am really not in a writing type mood, but he has been on my mind lately, honestly because I have not been the most pleasant person to be around. So even tho he doesn't read any of this, I just want him to know that I do love him, and I couldn't imagine my world any other way than as it is now.

Lori