The Panhandler

I have two children. One is 23 and the other is 18. My eldest son suffers from heroin addiction. He has chosen to panhandle for a living. Last week he asked me to go for a ride with him. I love him, but I have walked in his shoes many years ago. I know the pain, the whole damn journey that lies ahead for him. He said "Come on mom, go with me and my girlfriend out for awhile". So we are driving and he pulls off at a rest-stop. Said "Mom, I'll be right back". I sit in the car with his 100lb girlfriend who does Suduko puzzles non-stop. He comes back to the car 15 minutes later and tells me we are going out to lunch. After we leave the rest-stop he pulls out $175. I asked him where did he get the money. He proceeds to tell me that he does this everyday. He drives to rest-stops, pulls out his old military ID, and tells everyone he is stranded and needs to get back to his base. I was dumbfounded. I told him that if he gets caught this is a Federal offense, as he was only in the service for 4 months, and that morally it is wrong. His addiction doesn't understand or care about my argument. I am watching my firstborn kill himself. I am also looking in an old mirror. I was a heroin addict at 23. I walked in his shoes. Yet, when I plead with him, beg him, cry...he tells me.."I got this"..His first treatment appointment is in two weeks. He is not allowed in my home, he steals...so I have to go sit in his girl's car if he wants to visit or we go for a ride. I hate whatever genetics played a part in my one child's suffering. Is addiction genetic? I just know what I see with my own two green eyes. It is painful. The child that was soooo smart, precocious, is now panhandling to feed his need. This is the child that I took to pet the cows when he was little..he is now sticking needles in his arm at every opportunity. Afraid of a sickness that will pass, it will be painful, but it does pass. His youth and the feeling that he is infallible is blinding him to help. How do you impart your experience and wisdom to someone that is choosing deafness?