Jan 30, 2009

My face aches from smiling

I had a major incarceration in 1996. It humbled me and taught me the importance of personal freedoms. Since than I have learned to smile when I don't feel like it, say "Yes, ma'am" and "No sir" to people in positions of authority. My head hurts from all this smiling. I am a person who loves a good belly laugh and enjoys making others laugh as well. It angers me when I am not being true to myself. Fake. In a work situation it is a necessity. Otherwise, it is just putting on my life game face. The one you use at the department of motor vehicles. The same smiling face you use when you are at the Social Security offfice after they failed to send your husbands check. The happy face I put on when I go visit the VA hospital to spread some cheer to some forgotten heroes. The older I get the harder the smile hurts when it is false. I make a point to keep anger from getting etched in my face, probably due to personal vanity. It exists though. I grew up in the land of watching All In The Family, with commercials of people grouped together singing how they would like to teach the world to sing. I watched The Jeffersons movin' on up. That era and that mentality is gone. I don't see people moving anywhere. They are staying stagnate, afloat, but moving up they are not. They are spiraling downward. Freezing to death, while people shuffle amongst the homeless with arrogant impunity. I am a believer in karma. I might not have a dollar to throw in someone's cup, but if I have a quarter, I do. Four quarters and bam, at least someone can eat a burger off off of dollar menu. I wonder how many people in our country truly knows the meaning of being hungry. Literally hungry to the point of having no strength. I shall continue to smile even if it only makes a difference with one human being.


the walking man said...

Even if forced a smiling face is an easier encounter. But at times a scowl is called for, even when dealing with cops and bureaucrats.

Lori said...

I agree. I am at the point where I avoid all government agency dealings except when absolutely necessary. There are a few decent cops, but for every good one, there are the others, that are out there still shaking 'em down. The bureaucrats shuffle so much damn paper it is ridiculous that they get paid for it. The worst part is, after all the paper shuffling, nothing gets accomplished.