Jun 6, 2009

Cleaning out my closet...

Yup, that is an Eminem song, but if the shoe fits...As I go through belongings and items, I find treasures. Some odd, some silly, but all personal. I made my son a box and filled it with mementos that Jesse understood and will love. He also is awaiting his flag from the VA. I am not thrilled with the VA healthcare system, but I do want Jesse to get his flag. He was good to Jesse. Raised the boy as his own since he was 4 months old. Throughout our ups and downs and sideways, he was always there for Jesse. My main focus is my son, to help him heal. He lost his two male rocks since '05. My father and now, his. We are making an appearance in church this Sunday. Jesse, baggy pants and all, is a very spiritual kid. His recreational reading has always been the Bible. That was his choice, never forced. Jesse I think has always felt the need to believe since he was little. Trust me, there were some bleak times, and I am positive that faith sustained him. That boy is my heart. So we are going to reciprocate for all the kindness the local church has shown my son and I, and go. Ironically that is the only spark of interest he has had since stepping foot in Georgia. He loves Baltimore. I had to beg and plead to get him to come with me. He thinks the house is nice, the lake beautiful, but it is so rural, and he experienced culture shock. So I am hoping by going to church Sunday that will help his grieving. When in Rome....or the Bible Belt...yes, my sense of humor is returning. That part feels good. I laugh, cry, whatever I feel like. It's my right to be slightly insane at times. Thank everyone so much who reads and stops by my little corner of the blogging world. Writing these words for the last year or so has been my relief. Reading the words of others lets me know that I am not alone in certain opinions and that the daily struggle of life is shared by all of us. *Note*...I donated all the medical supplies I had to the local medical supply company in town. They helped me when the VA failed. I called and they got to my house in 10 minutes. Do you know that those cases of food that you feed someone in their stomach cost about $48 a case. Medicaid only pays for two cases a month!!. A person goes through about a case every 4 days. I just had tons of stuff. They were so appreciative and told me that it would be given to all the people without insurance, which are numerous. So please everyone take your vitamins and supplements diligently. Being sick is expensive and that Medicaid they deduct from you SSI check, doesn't begin to cover what you really need. I had about $600 worth of stuff and giving that stuff to people who I know are in desperate need of supplies was a huge feeling of peace and relief. Be well and STAY HEALTHY....


Lou said...

Lori, I tried to email you, but the email came back.I appreciated your comment, and would like to use it in a post.

I remember reading about an organization that asked people to donate medicine that had expired. Medicine is good way past it's expiration date, so they wanted to give it to people who could not afford it. A legal group stepped in and blocked it. They said it was a form of racism.
So much BS in this country, it's very discouraging. I know many people would have been happy to get those meds. Oh well, you do what you can.

Thanks again for your prayers.

the walking man said...

don't worry Lori...The building is not going to rumble and shake, collapsing all around you when you walk in. religious services in my eye are about the folks there.

You have your religion as evidenced in the giving the medical supplies away for use by others and in being able to receive the kindness of strangers with a good heart.

You tell BP for me that I too read the bible and have been for decades, it is where I started my quest. If he listens to the quiet voice within he will come to know it as that spirit from God that will direct his journey, no matter where it takes him.

"It's my right to be slightly insane at times."...What do you mean "at times" ;-p

Lori said...


LOL, how did u know I was worried the the church would burn? I love you my brother. Sanity is relative my dear dear friend.


My email is Susansmiles001@gmail.com Please try again, as I am curious as to why it came back. You are welcome to use my comment. The more free time I have the more I have been reading your "story". I have two sons, the youngest hates drugs. My older boy finally got out of rehab and is now clean. He, too, left Baltimore for Florida. I worry so much about him.. The game has changed so much since back in the day when Kenny and I used. It is raunchier and cruddier. There is no code, no honor amongst thieves. My brother-in-law is on parole and we never thought he would change. Packed up his family and moved down here, and I am have been amazed at his transformation. I acutally left my purse alone with him, lol. Sometimes you have to step out of the cesspool and see other ways of living. As far as the medical supplies go, it did my heart so much good. At least my husband was able to obtain TONS of supplies through the VA. The medical supply company promised me they would give those supplies to the folks who needed them. They gave me stuff at cost when I needed it. There is still humanity out there. Have a blessed one.