Oct 16, 2009

Random Thoughts......

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin quote. It makes me rather happy to think there is a rather eclectic mix in the afterworld this year. Kenny has good company. Him, Bernie Mac, and George Carlin are hanging out. I know the man,trust me. Laughter was his soul. If Farrah Fawcett wants to talk to him I won't be jealous. I swear. The bible belt says that you suffer on this earth for the glories of the afterworld. Well I hope he is experiencing all the glories he wants. Actuall the bible says that, but the bible belt preaches it constantly. So I guess I am suffering so I can have a wonderful time after I die. Yes, I am being rather sarcastic. I feel like the man on the mountain with the big ball that kept falling down, can't think of his name. Everytime I push the huge ball up it falls right back down on me, splat. Wake up and do it again. Every day. There are brief moments between pushing it up the mountain and before it falls again that I get some joy, but the ball inevitably falls back down again. There is no side stepping that huge ball. I guess that is why I have so many bruises. Most are on the inside so noone can see. Oh yes, I know have a fancy job title, retail salesperson...I always thought I was just the shmcuk at 7-11..Kudos to my boss for making me feel important. Doesn't take much. I did get much needed help at Social Services. My fridge is stocked full and I am about to get medical assistance for me and Baggy Pants. I had the arguement with my proud son. He says, Mom you are taking government handouts. Here we went again. I blew up. I had sat for two days a total of 10 hours to get the emergency food stamps and medical paperwork. I said "You ungrateful kid...I have paid taxes since I was 15. This is not going to be my way of life. I just am having a hard time and need some help".. Why is he so proud? Our 7-11 accepts food stamps. Alot don't. We call it EBT. No person wants to be in a long line and say "hey I am waiting to see if your food stamps got approved in the machine". There is a big sign at Social Serices that says, "Due to the economy please be patient, as the wait is doubled" I got there so damn early before the doors even opened, 30 people were already there waiting. I wish Jesse could see what is really happening in this world. I was frugile at the grocery store, and now we have good healthy food to eat. That is why poor people are in the ER all the time. They live on starch and canned and processed food. So because of the diet they are eating, they get high blood pressure, diabetes etc. Genocide through poverty???? I really count my blessings daily. Than I hit my knees and pray. You all are included in my prayers...Have a great day. TGIF...(That means nothing to me, but to some of the young one's have a ball)


Whitemist said...

My heart goes out to you and your struggles. I have seen it many times close up, it still pains me.
We will pray for you and I hope there is someone, somewhere who has compassion for you in your situation.

the walking man said...

I suppose it would be easier for BP if the handout was from a stranger who opened their window long enough to hand over a few coins. That way it would feel like it was worked for eh?

To be 19 again and so full of the world is mine. I hope he doesn't find out the truth for a decade yet.