Jul 20, 2011

Coming Full Circle

Epiphanies come at the strangest times. I just finished watching Panic in Needle Park. That dope scene was a bit before my time, but the story is the same. The lifestyle, the sickness. There was a time in my twenties when that lifestyle was edgy, even glamorous, strange as that may sound. It is part of the disease, that underbelly way of living. The most wonderful thing I realized tonight was that I am so very thankful that the way of living I choose now is something I wouldn't trade for the best bag, hit, shot whatever. I try not to think about the past that much. To this day I still have the occasional nightmare that I am in the mix again. Than I wake up. Covered in sweat. It takes a few minutes of looking around at my surroundings to realize that it was indeed a dream and not my reality. I sometimes wish I could make people who are still caught up, that life can be so wonderful, astounding and beautiful. The circle of life maybe? I pray that anyone who is lost will one day swim upward, out of the muck and to the surface. Peace!


the walking man said...

That my friend is a decision only the one using can decide.

Lori said...

I know that in my heart WM. That is the hardest thing about watching someone you love self-destruct. They will continue to do so. All I can do is hope that they, too, get their own epiphany.

Lou said...

Andrew has over a year clean, a wonderful life..yes, he sees the astounding beauty all around him.

I have been trying to reach you, sent you an email, but it got kicked back. I wanted to catch up with you


Lori said...

Lou- I am so pleased to hear that Andrew is doing great. He has been through the mill and hopefully no more trips will be needed. Sobriety is a just like anything else you love in life. You must care for it, value it and treasure it each day...or it will be gone. I will absolutely send you an email.