Feb 17, 2012

One vice to another

Well I still have some learning to do.  I had Jesse come pick his brother up last night.  Jason was here for three days. Every single night he was here he bought a bottle of whiskey.  I am not a fan of alcoholics as my first husband and biological father to the boys was a horrid one.  The first day he was here he charmed the pants off of Tina my sis in law and my nephew. That's what hustler's do.  What I don't understand is his constant need to lie.  He got kicked out of boot camp before 30 days were up.  He is sitting in my living room, drink in hand, telling Tina and Travis how he was in special forces and was in the service for 4 years.  I didn't embarrass him, I simply let the lies flow and went downstairs to my little apt.  That lie about the military was a huge source of conflict between my late husband and him.  Kenny was not a perfect man, but he was proud of the fact that he served his country and had an honorable discharge.  Travis and Tina were so hurt that he felt the need to lie.  I explained to my nephew that sometimes the people who seem so over-confident are the most insecure, hence the need to lie. I have told many a whopper in my time, but that was back in my younger years when I was using.  Just because people stop getting high, doesn't mean they lose the mentality. 

I sat Jason down privately and we both agree that Baltimore is not for him. When Jesse dropped him off I found out that Jason is living in the middle of the hood where you can literally walk out on your stoop and get heroin.  Why would he choose to live there?  That makes me question his sobriety.  When he left he asked me for $20 in his pocket.  He did have a few dollars when he got here.  Money is a red flag for me.  Bottom line, I saw him, he didn't seem to have a dope habit as he woke up and bounced out of bed.  I am, however, not thrilled with the daily drinking.  His liver has seen enough. All the other mom's out there who have children who suffer with the disease of addiction know the feelings and guilt and grief etc. He does want out of Baltimore.  I knew the gist of this visit.  He was putting feelers out to see if maybe he could stay with us. Tina and I both told him that since his brother was told no it would be unfair to say yes to him.  We are still working on getting my nephew on his own two feet. 

They need to do a commercial that show young girls parenting doesn't end when they turn 18.  I don't think it ever ends. Sigh..off to run errands. Enjoy the day...

6 comments:

Lou said...

Lori, you know I get this! How many times did Andrew "quit" by becoming alcoholic. He was a nicer addict than he was a drunk, that's for sure.
You are like all of us--a good mother, doing the best she can.

God bless you and your boys, sweetie.

Lori said...

Lou- Amen to being a nicer addict than a drunk. There is something so very repulsive to me about being around someone who is out of their mind drunk, especially when it is your child. Than they tell you "but Ma, I'm clean"...bullshit. I just turned 45 in December and my patience is wearing thin. I just keep doing the best that I can, like all of us moms' do. God Bless you and the family and all the mothers out there in this struggle.

the walking man said...

Hey kiddo...it becomes easy enough to say no to your kids once they realize that even if they ask a hundred and four times the answer is still the same. NO.

Brother Frankie said...

ohhh, my wife was a mean drunk but an awesome crack addict...

i was a nice "both of the above" guy.. my thing was the gift of gab... i could charm the woman real good..

(gotta be careful about the lying about military thingy... i have seen some folks get their butts kicked pretty bad ... us vets dont take kindly to that sorta thing)

blessings ladies, you are loved
Brother Frankie

Annette said...

Hi Lori, I found you through Lou. Yes, I can relate to all of this. yes, drinking vs. using....ugh. Glad I got to meet you and I look forward to reading more of your journey.

Lori said...

WM- I have finally learned to utter the word NO forcefully out of my mouth. Feels much better than saying yes and regretting it.

Brother Frankie- The gift of gab was my gift also. It's amazing how when you use it for good how much you can accomplish. The VA thing is his hustle. He goes from rest stop to rest stop and tells people he is a stranded veteran who just got back from duty and needs money to get to base. I see an ass whooping coming his way or jail if he keeps it up. Love you too BroFrankie

Annette- Hi Annette, glad you stopped by. I'm sorry you can relate to all of this. I am getting ready to stop by and visit your blog. Lou has such a good knack for making people feel united in this growing struggle. I shall be visiting your blog today. :)