Jun 30, 2012


I have been giving serious thought to what my slogan is now.  In my twenties it would have been something trite like "Sex, Drugs, Rock-n-Roll, and more Drugs".  My thirties can be summed up nicely, "Lost and can't find my way home". Ah, but I am now 45. What started out as a question in a friend's blog has been eating away at my over-analyzing brain. I am in a good place these days for the most part. I am now past the point of self-sabatoging and self-destructing when things are going well in my life.  That was a huge part of my old pattern.  Many of you will not understand the hard-wiring of a brain that has been imprinted with addiction. Soooo scared of success!  Failure is easy, immediate gratification is the theme.  We stop growing up and maturing the day we first picked up.  No wonder why so many of us are still trying to grow up.  Our peers own homes and have careers, families and even the much saught after white picket fence. We want to be terminally unique.  Than one day something happens.  The thrill is gone.  Sounds simple, but that is what really happens. We want to wake up with money for a coffee and a pack of cigarettes.  We realize that we haven't taken a trip to the ocean in eons.  Tired of cutting our own hair to save money for The Man.  Realizing that the man is driving a Lexus that we paid for as we sit at a bus stop. All the little epiphanies turn into one big epiphany. We want our parents to be happy to see us instead of looking through the peep hole wondering how much money we need. If you have lived this, you know all too well.

So I am still pondering my slogan.  I'm think of To The Moon as that is where I am aiming, but that also reminds me of The Honeymooners, so I'm still thinking.  Happy Saturday! Peace!


bugerlugs63 said...

Oh yes Lori that all sounds very familiar. Failure is easy, you're right there.
When you quit did you do it one go, or have little relapses? I hope you don't mind me asking . . . because I do well (for a week this time) and then I get caught up again . . . and again. I will keep on trying though.
"To the moon" sounds good.
Have a good weekend x

luluberoo said...

Well said, my friend.

Well said.

Lori said...

bugerlugs63- Good day my friend. In the beginning it was quite a few slip ups. Than after awhile the slips got farther and farther apart until they no longer interested me. I realized peace of mind is the greatest high. You can do it girl! xoxo

luluberoo- Thank you Lou! xoxo

goatman said...

I am thinking "onward and upward", seems positive and helpful.
I have a brother who has lived in our parent's basement for 30 years. When they died and we sold the house he lives now in a van he bought and stays with friends/old lovers till they throw him out. Makes $700 a month on "back disability", and foodstamps but take out the drugs from that money and he is in someones driveway. I got him a cabin for $120 a week but halfway through the month he is hitting me up for rent. Not happening.
Maybe he will come up for air once and learn life. Haven't seen him for many weeks now . . . ?

Nice post.

Lori said...

goatman- I like onward and upward. Sounds like you have a handful with your brother. Just make sure you don't drown trying to help him come up for air. Many addicts have a way of sucking the life out of those close to them. He is blessed to have you in his life. Glad to hear from you!