YAY

WE GOT OUR HOUSE BACK!!!!!! Living on faith. We just got approved for the make home affordable plan. When we moved to Georgia, we moved partly because my mom had an ARM loan. So we headed down to the lake and rented the house out. When Kenny died we came back and are renting from current slumlord. The mortgage was 1,091 a month. Well, drum roll, starting June 1, it will be $700 a month. I have been in tears, tears of joy. I have a wonderful tenant so we won't be moving in until July 1, but all the paperwork was worth it. My perverted landlord can kiss my sweet ass good-bye. My spirits lifted so much. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. The roller coaster of life continues. What a ride!

Humor

I am on my break. I am picking up some hostess shifts temporarily. It feels so good to be able to type again. I am starting to smile again, even chuckle. That is the best sign that I am getting better. Humor really does make someone feel good. So I shall continue onward and upward. No tears, I shall laugh dammit and enjoy the little things. Have to run, but will be posting on a regular basis starting tomorrow. Peace!!!

What goes up, must come down...

Well I am no longer a working girl. I am on medical leave with no pay. I just applied for SSD. My right arm is not healing, and i need surgery. I also have Hep C and it just became active again. Thankfully I have food stamps and got medical assistance. My problem now is my rent. I am going to social services bright and early in the morning to see if I can get cash assistance until my SSD kicks in. I am trying to take all this in with the best of spirits but is is hard. When your health starts to fail you, it is scary. Plus, I am a workaholic. I don't know what the hell to do except work. This is a very scary time. Baggy pants has twenty more days till he graduates. He has applied for his college loans for September. So at least he is on track. This time last year in Georgia I had three months worth of bill money in the bank. Not anymore. I am scared, but I will fight. Maybe now I can work on the novel I have been trying to get published. My main goal is to get my rent paid. Getting the health insurance was huge. I have no co-pays and my prescriptions are only $1. I can budget well with the food benefits. It is humbling, but I have worked since I was 14 so maybe it is my time to get myself healthy, and use some of the damn tax money I have paid all these years. It feels so good to start writing again. This is the one thing in my life that truly brings me joy. I guess this is just another twist in the journey of my life. That is the attitude I must keep. Thank all of you so much for caring and loving me through my journey. It makes a huge difference in my life. I love and care for each and everyone of you. Be blessed.

Sorry for lack of posting

It has been hurting to type so I have been taking a sabbatical from the keyboard. Going back to work today, finally. I am going to do short shifts and hostess until my arm is healed. I never realized how shitty tv is until I watched it this week. My mother visited and she loves the show The Duggers, and the other show with the little people. I guess there aren't any more real actors nowadays as everyone seems content to be a voyeur, watching everyday people live their lives out. I tried to share her enthusiasm and watch her shows. The Duggers have too many kids for me to focus, and the little people are just....well...a show about vertically challenged people and their daily lives. I fell asleep during both shows. The one show that I do enjoy and always have is The Dog Whisperer. This man loves dogs, as do I. I have always felt that animals have an ability to gauge a person's character. If my cat or dog didn't like you, than there had to be a reason. Soon I shall visit the animal shelter and pick out a new dog. I miss the cold nose and the snuggles that come with a dog. Forgive my lapse in posting. This week has been horrid. Being home I thought I would at least be able to write. Time to get ready for work. Be well, be happy and find something to make you smile today!

Been sick

Sorry for not updating. Just found out that I have tendinitis and carpal tunnel in my right arm, which is the kiss of death for a waitress. So I have been pretty busy running to doctors and pharmacies etc. I have a not to have off til Friday, which although I cannot afford it, in the long run it will be more cost effective to let my tendon get some rest. The arm that is afflicted ironically is my "tray hand"..the one that I carry the big trays with. The doctor said that after 21 years of waitressing my tendon is telling me it needs a break.. Getting some more testing in regard to the carpal tunnel. So I shall have plenty of time to blog and catch up on all of your blogs out there since I have a few extra days off..God Bless and Peace!

Reasons and seasons

I am learning to take my happiness wherever I can. In minutes sometimes seconds. The older i get I realize the big reward is nil. I will work, sleep, eat and do it all over again. It's the joy of the journey. The people I encounter. The music I dearly love. The people I love. Been grieving alot lately. June 1st will be one year since the death. Spring was our time. We gardened, walked the dog, cooked out. Simple, mundane things that equate joy to me. I have never been a high maintenance chick. I can't imagine doing it all over again with another human being. I do ponder it sometimes. Relationships are alot of work. 20 years is alot of history with one person. Maybe there will be someone out there for me. I don't know. It is not a pressing issue. Only the man above knows what my destiny is. i wish he'd give me a damn hint. Like, "psssst, be at the bookstore on Sunday morning, and you will meet a new life partner." Something subtle like that, lol. i make love in my mind, with memories and the occasional cheat. I need a man with a brain. I can put up with mild neurosis's as I have a few of my own. I need someone who can make me laugh so hard I almost pee. I need someone who thinks I look beautiful with no makeup and sweatpants. Must love dogs. Someone who is passionate about food. Wait a minute this is my blog, not a desperately seeking ad. Well at least I am starting to figure out what I like, at 43. Do we really know what this journey has in store for us? Maybe that's the reason I have been seeking. Stop looking for that HUGE REWARD, and exhale and make the most of my journey. Peace!

Fresh Attitude

Well today I am going in for dayshift after my two day suspension. I am not going to be bitter or nasty. I know who the snakes are. It's my fault if I go near them. I think the troublemaker underestimated just how many friends I have at my job. The owner told me time will catch a thief. So I am just going to do me. I don't own the place. The state gives me and my son health benefits, so I am done being Mother Theresa as my boss calls me. I have rent to pay and bills. That won't happen if I get caught up in the wrong mix. Life is full of lessons and I guess I just learned another one. Have a great day all.