It feels good!

Yesterday was wonderful. My ex neighbor/friend invited me over to go swimming and eat pizza yesterday. She calls me her auntie. Her name is Natalie and she is 25. She has awesome parents who love her dearly. They have been through the insanity with her. She wound up getting her certificate as a medical assistant, got rid of the crazy boyfriend and now hangs closely with her family. I am so proud of her. We had so much fun. Her dad built everything by hand in their back yard. The deck, steps, everything. It's beautiful. I finally was able to relax. Sunshine and a good girlfriend can do wonders for a person. We found a place that sells decent large pizzas for $9. It doesn't take much to make this woman happy. I wonder if the neighbors will laugh at me if I go out and buy a kiddie pool? Not that I would care. As long as my ass can fit in it, and it keeps me cool I don't give a flying fig. I am off from work today. Count your blessings everyday people. May you not fry in this horrid heat....Peace!

Amazing

Have you ever tried to help a stupid person? Pointless. There is a guy I know. Wants to get into treatment, so he says. I am the queen of getting it done. I found a list of programs, facilities etc. What does the asshole do? Calls me this morning to borrow $50. He has done one too many drugs. He hasn't called any of the places. Not my problem anymore. Of course when I said no I got the click of the phone on his end. How is someone going to try to make me feel bad for not loaning them MY money? I am barely making it as it is, and you want to borrow my money not for anything positive, but for drugs. Nope, I am not the one. See I have played the game. I know every story, every scam. You will lose if you try to flip it around. I never deny anyone food or the like. There is just too much help available in this city if you want it. Many of the places are free. So another number has been deleted from my phone. Have a great day...

Getting my work face on..

Time to get in the shower at 8pm and put on that happy waitress face. The hardest part is getting there. Once I punch in I am fine and in my mode. Hopefully 6am will roll around quick. I did get off for July 4th. Most people shall be cooking out and spending time with their families. Not too many are going to be eating grand slams. My neighbors have been having a damn ball with the fireworks. To the point of annoying the shit out of me. I like to sleep with my window open. Every ten minutes last night it sounded like people were getting shot. I didn't know whether to get on the floor under the bed or look out the window. My one neighbor actually "guffaws" when he laughs. He also says "Hot Damn" every time one of those noisy things goes boom. I almost thought I was back in Georgia. The people were more civil there though, and they shot real guns just because. I have much more respect for the southern man than I do my ding dong neighbor yelling fucking "Hot Damn".. I happen to know that he is a closet racist. I have decided that tomorrow I shall blast some annoying rap and hip hop out of my window. I might, God forbid, invite some friends over who aren't, gulp, white. Hot Damn!!!!!! Have a great holiday.....

Strange Days..

Some days are more strange than others. Just like people. I must have a weirdo magnet. I can't even walk to get a pack of cigarettes without attracting at least one. They usually need a cigarette, or want to use my phone or God forbid, they want to talk. I have no rap these days. I save it for when I am on the clock. If you want me to be overly friendly and nice, come to Denny's. Once I punch out, it's pretty much all gone. I did wait on an a rather colorful drunk the other night. He was there with a lady friend. He had a 40oz in a paper bag. They ordered two prime rib skillets and two waters. He asked me for my phone number. I told him I didn't own a phone. He asked me if I wanted some of his beer. I declined. Than he proceeded to tell me his life story. He is a vagabond who likes to travel. He has been to most of our states, and can tell you the name of a good bar in every one. He gave me the phone number for a strange man in Montana. This man owns a rundown resort. He will pick you up at the train station. You get $68 a day in cash and free room and board. You work at the resort. Drunk dude pays bill and leaves me his phone number and a decent tip. Don't know why, but I kinda like him. The free spirit part. He told me he had to get to a meeting. I gave him a hug and told him not to bring his beer to his meeting. I hope he made it..Just a glimpse into a day of my life...Peace!!!

Feels so good to want to write again...

Yup, it sure does. Had quite a bit of family drama in the last month, to the point where it literally sucked the life out of me. I was just like that hamster in the shiny wheel, running fervently but accomplishing nada. Than I woke up a few mornings ago and simply let go off all problems that don't personally affect me or my son. Baggy Pants got his high school diploma this week. Thank God!!!! I cried. He was so nonchalant about it. He came home like he always does, and knocked on my door. He comes in my room and says, "Here ma, I thought you might like this". He than hands me his diploma. That was quite a moment folks. My boy is 20 and has been taking college and high school classes. That was two days ago. My spirits have been lifted tremendously. This last year has been one long strange trip for us, but we have come out on the other side. Just like he didn't give up on his diploma, I can't give up either. So it's on to fight the good fight. Feels wonderful to sit here and be able to write again....

Things do work out...

Well mom is not coming back here. She now has a social worker who is helping her find an assisted living facility. All her arteries are blocked and they want to wait awhile due to her age before they do any more surgery. So now she is in good hands and I will be able to work and live my life worry free. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I do feel rather hurt as for the last 6 years we have taken care of her. Apparently it wasn't good enough. For the first five months when we were in Ga. and she had no income coming in, Kenny paid every one of her bills. When we moved back after he died I waited on her hand and foot. So I feel pretty used. The good thing is it can't happen ever again. So that is a blessing. I am done. This is my year to heal spiritually and mentally. She is toxic. I hope she makes lots of friends in the assisted living place. She is going to need them....

Things do work out...

Well mom is not coming back here. She now has a social worker who is helping her find an assisted living facility. All her arteries are blocked and they want to wait awhile due to her age before they do any more surgery. So now she is in good hands and I will be able to work and live my life worry free. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I do feel rather hurt as for the last 6 years we have taken care of her. Apparently it wasn't good enough. For the first five months when we were in Ga. and she had no income coming in, Kenny paid every one of her bills. When we moved back after he died I waited on her hand and foot. So I feel pretty used. The good thing is it can't happen ever again. So that is a blessing. I am done. This is my year to heal spiritually and mentally. She is toxic. I hope she makes lots of friends in the assisted living place. She is going to need them....