I shall be gone til Sunday evening....

Yes, time to visit my friend Joe. Rocco and I are packing up this morning and getting ready for our two hour drive. I must tell you that Joe is more geared up to see puppy than I. I can hear it in his voice. He calls it our baby. The Polish Puppy. Except it has an Italian name which pisses him off to no end. He calls him Stosho Stanislov. Rocco keeps his real name a secret and goes willing to Joe when he calls. My doctor said if he could write every senior with high blood pressure a puppy instead of lipitor etc.. he would. Doc thinks that animals work wonders with seniors that live alone. I know he is doing miracles for this middle-aged (gulp) woman. I had my monthly lunch with my Baltimore sisters aka best friends. Great time as always. Stacy and Kelly are sisters, I am just an honorary one. Never underestimate the value of one or two true friends in a lifetime. The comfort of being with someone who knows you, faults and flaws and all, and loves you unconditionally is a gift. No amount of money or shopping or whatever can replace someone who loves you. YOU.. Just the way you are. I've been rather busy with puppies and some drama so I haven't had the writing urge. I am learning not to engage with people who are crazy, lol....and it is working. Enough said. The world keeps spinning and so far I haven't fallen off the globe and I guess that's good enough for now. Peace

Life is sweet

Rocco and I drove to my friend Joe's home this past weekend. 2 hour ride. I had to drive through Lancaster PA. The Amish were hard at working, selling their wares, along with all the commercial souveniour shops. So many pumpkins and squash. Made for interesting driving. Fall is in the air, jack frost making guest appearances on my morning windshield. This was the first time Joe has invited me to his home. He has always been embarrassed about the state of the inside. He is a now 75 year old man who is quite messy. A collector of books. The home is gorgeous. Picture windows that let you peek at the deer in his backyard. There are books everywhere. Joe has a true love of the written word. Do the math. His age x books...Yup, they are all over his home. Piles and piles. He could no lie, fill a small county library. I made a big fuss over the beauty of the home. He was afraid I would judge him on his sloppiness. Ha, ME? Seriously? I am the last to judge. I have resided in beautiful homes, hotels and hovels. I judge no one. There but the grace of God... So we went out to a very nice pub/dinner place. Ate the best damn hamburger I have had. ( I confess, I have had many a burger in my day) We split a home-made peach cobbler and I had a yummy Bailey's over ice. In the am. I started cleaning. He and Rocco had hit it off from the beginning. Joe and the puppy played outside. He looked happy. I have a feeling in my gut that he is getting his affairs in order. Joe wants me to clean his house. Put some order to it. He pulled out a silver tea serving set he wants his favorite daughter Jane to have. I left wistful. Here is a man who has known nothing but hard work his whole life. He spends his weeks at the library perfecting his resume and searching for work. We both know that this is futile but I am playing the game. Sense of purpose folks. I actually felt ashamed at how many years while he was hard at work, I was a total hedonist, living for the moment. On the way home I could feel my eyes drooping so I pulled into a trading post. Parked next to a horse and buggy. Yes, I did. Purchased a coffee, ok an iced coffee with whipped cream and chocolate drizzle. Rocco and I streched legs and paws than finished the drive home. I have learned many things in my two year friendship with Joe. The most important one was this weekend. Don't waste time. Living is but for so long....Make it count. Peace!

First Photo

I'm so in love with you....

Rocco. Yup, I have managed to keep my plants alive for over a year. Theres a saying in recovery. Before you have a relationship, get a plant. If you keep the plant alive for a year, get a pet. After a year with the pet, than you are ready for a "live person". Of course I don't always do things in the correct order, but so be it. I am as happy as if I gave birth. Since Auggie I haven't had a dog. I shared Harley with sis-in-law, but it's not the same as having your own. Plus I do like the advantage of him being so young so I can train him the way I want. I am rambling, so let me start in order. Jay had stopped up two nights ago with this beautiful Rotty puppy for me to check out. I fell in love, so he brought the dog back to his owner and told him that I would take the puppy. He has had all of his shots and his tail has been docked and he has already been checked out by the vet. He shows no signs of having future hip diseases. The best part of this whole getting a puppy situation is this: There was a time when my son wouldn't trust me to take care of a goldfish. The fact that he brought me this puppy let's me know that he has noticed the change through the years. Jay knows I am responsible and can be trusted to take care of this dog. That was a better gift than Rocco. The gift of Jay finally taking me seriously and knowing I have been stable for a long enough time that we now have trust in our relationship. One day at a time, or one minute at a time. The payoff is tremendous. Peace!

Re-runs & Gossip

I am watching someone I love and care for falling into the hell of addiction. Thankfully I just listen as I know there not a damn thing I can do until that person is ready to make a change. It's odd, you know, to see yourself about 15 years ago with that "everything will work out somehow" attitude. It makes me thankful I have conquered the majority of my demons. It makes me thankful for the life I live today. I just pray that my friend's epiphany will come in time before all is lost that can't be replaced. I don't like watching a re-run of my past. Anyhow, I am making a real effort not to commit a sin that I am guilty of way to much. Gossip. It starts out so innocently and than the next thing you know, you and a friend are disecting the life of a mutual friend as if they were a frog. NONYA is my new mantra. None Ya Business. If it doesn't apply or have relevance to me or my family than I will not support any conversations that are negative. Women are not the only ones guilty of this. Men love to gossip ALOT. Seems to be alot of yard bashing in the neighborhoods. Men love them some yard talk. I just realize I catch myself saying things at times that are better left unsaid. I bought myself a cheap little leather and silver bracelet that says Count Your Blessings. Everytime I look at the engraved words it is a reminder of how lucky and blessed I am. I don't ever want to forget the gifts that I have been showered with in my lifetime. Sunshine and Rain...Joy and Pain.....Peace!

Death With Dignity

Yesterday I watched a documentary on HBO about the state of Oregon and how it allows people who, when they have tried all these medical options, chemo etc..they have the legal right to ask their doctor to write them a prescription so they can die at home at the time of their choosing. Every person that was featured seemed almost happy that their pain and suffering would soon be ending. They had made peace with death. This touched me deeply. Can you see a time where your quality of life would decline to the degree that you would prefer to say good-bye while you still had your mental faculties and wits? Would you just want to live for the press of a morphine button? There was another not so nice side to this story. A rather poor gentleman had prostrate cancer and his insurance company sent him a letter that stated unless the doctors could guarantee that any new meds would increase his life-span by a 5 year minimum, than they would only pay for hospice and pallitave care. They also offered to pay for the death with dignity prescription. Leave it to insurance companies to fuck up something well intended. So now the quarrel in other states is will this become a way of euthanizing the elderly poor? I put nothing past big business. One gentleman was given his 6 month left to live note and was trying to move to Oregon but was told that he would be dead from cancer before he would be able to establish residency. Most of the doctors felt that by allowing patients to do this themselves they weren't violating the oath of "Thou shall do no harm". I was wondering what you intelligent readers feel about this. I personally think that when a human being reaches the point of not being able to control their body fluids and is in a medicated haze, there isn't that much quality of life. I believe this should be an option for everyone. I hope that when my time comes to meet my maker I shall be surrounded with family and have full clarity. On a lighter note....Happy Sunday. I am noticing the birds are sleeping in later and the sun is getting later in making the grand appearance. It's getting to be that time of year.....Peace!

I just like this postcard....