How much do you love your dog?

That's right. This first cup of coffee tastes wonderful and I am loving it. Today I just have a question. This is for dog lovers, as I am one. What prompted this pending ? is on Saturday night me and two of the girls I work with went out to the local Waffle House (where else?) for some coffee and gossip after our shift. I always bring a box of steak bones and scraps for my dog Auggie. So does the other girl for her dog. We get to the Waffle House and as we walk in we see this black lab, barely able to recognize him as a lab. He was starving. He was soaking wet from the rain. He was wagging his tail. Kathy ran to her truck and got her black box of steak out and this dog was in doggie nirvana. I know people are having hard economic times. The local humane society here has a 27 day waiting list to pick up animals and than if a home isn't found within a week, they are euthanized. This dog was dropped off at the only busy intersection in this little town. He demolished all 3lbs of Filet Mignon, Ribeyes and fat. It broke my heart. It costs me about $12 a month to buy one huge bag of kibble at Wal-Mart to feed my dog. This dog has been with me for two years. He was rescued from a shooting gallery. He waits for me to come home, barks fiercely if anyone comes near our remote home. He licks my wounds, sometimes literally. His fur holds all of my tears. I love my dog. Here is my question. If you were forced to downsize due to finances and things got very hard, would you be able to drop your dog off on the side of the road and drive away? To me, dogs are the most amazing, loyal pets you will ever own. Dogs work as aids with the elderly and disabled. Dogs take bullets for the police. They love you back with all that a canine can. So if anyone who reads my little writings is a dog lover or just has an opinion please respond. This dog dumping is happening more and more. What's next? Your kids? (Ok, that was dramatic, but my dog is rather like one of my children and is actually better behaved and doesn't talk back and ask to use my bank card) Have a great day.

A Baltimore Love Thing

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If you ever wondered what it is like to be a heroin addict, even if you hate rap music, 50 Cent summed it spot on in this song. It is called A Baltimore Love Thing. So since I just found out through fellow blogger Lou that September is National Recovery Month, I thought I would do an early addiction post. These lyrics speak the pain and the TRUTH.

[Intro- 50 Cent]
She loves me, she loves me not
Yeah she loves me not

[Verse 1- 50 Cent]
The fiends need me, I ain't around it, bones ache
Detox, rehab, cold sweat, watch 'em shake
I'm not that genie in a bottle, I'm in a bag
Take one hit, I slide off to the land of the H man
When we first met, I thought you'd never doubt me
Now you tryna leave me, you'll never live without me
Girl, I'm missin' you, come and see me soon
Tie your arm up, put that lighter under that spoon
Now put that needle to ya arm princess, stick it in
Relapse you back bitch, don't ever try that again
All that shit I did for you, I made you feel good
We have a love thing, you treatin' this like its just a fling
What we have is more sacred than a vow or a ring
You broke my heart, you dirty bitch I won't forget what you did
If you give birth, I'll already be in love with your kids
Listen, I don't give a damn if your ass start smokin'
But we have a bond and its not to be broken

[Hook x2- 50 cent]
We got a love thing, girl you try to leave me
But you need me, can't you see you're addicted to me
We got a love thing, I can take you higher girl
Fuckin' with me, you can be all you can be

[Verse 2- 50 Cent]
Baby you know, on the low your sister be eyein' me
I'm good lookin', so you know, sure she be tryin' me
I heard she bisexual, she fuck with that girl
But boy, oh boy, fuckin' wit me is a whole 'nother world
After that first night, she fall in love, then chased a feelin'
I hung out with Marvin when he wrote "Sexual Healing"
Kurt Cobain even good friends, Ozzy Ozbourne too
I be with rock stars, see you lucky I'm fuckin' with you
I chill with Frankie Lyeman and Jimmy Hendrix crew
See this is new to you, but to me this ain't new
I live a lavished life, listen if the mood is right
Me, you, and your sister can do the do tonight
I never steer you wrong, you're hyper I make ya calm
I be the incentive and reason for you to move forward
Let's make a date, promise me you'll come and see me
Even if it means you have to sell ya mama's TV
I love you, love me back, no one said lovin' me'd be easy

[Hook x2- 50 cent]
We got a love thing, girl you try to leave me
But you need me, can't you see you're addicted to me
We got a love thing, I can take you higher girl
Fuckin' with me, you can be all you can be

[Verse 3- 50 Cent]
I love you, I got you barefooted on glass, chasin' a dove
That monkey on your back, symbolizes my love
Your friends talk bad about me bitch, you sit there and listen to 'em
Over and over you hurt me, my love is unconditional
They talk to you when you up, you down they got nothin' to say
But when you call, I'll come runnin', I'll always take the pain away
They set you up, to let you down, they crowned you prom queen
Fiddle about me behind your back, they call you a fuckin' fiend
Can we just be alone, so I can kiss and hug you
Push me inside you, no other man can loves you like I do
Call me daddy, I'll make you feel good, I mean real good
I found pleasure in pleasin' you, like a real man should
It was written long before, it was carved in a tree
Forever me and you baby we were meant to be
There's more to life than laughter, what brought us together was fate
And we'll be hand in hand, when you walk through those pearly gates
And to see to that, I'ma do whatever it takes

[Hook x2- 50 cent]
We got a love thing, girl you try to leave me
But you need me, can't you see you're addicted to me
We got a love thing, I can take you higher girl
Fuckin' with me, you can be all you can be

R.E.H.A.B. - A3

The strangest little things can keep you on track. When I get depressed I listen to this song. It's about rehab, and basically about perserving even when the light doesn't shine. So this morning I felt the need for some positive re-enforcement and this song took me to where I needed to be.


sometimes the light don't shine
sometimes the light don't shine
sometimes the light don't shine
what?
sometimes the light don't shine
what?
rehabilitated

some say the only way to ease the pain is gettin' down to pray
I'm with no guru, no teacher for me
I got no faith in no fantasy
one too many, went flyin' too long
so many mornings already gone wrong, baby
been so long and I've been feelin so bad
deep down in a dark, dark, dark cave

sometimes the light don't shine
that's the time we gotta open our eyes, yeah
sometimes the light don't shine

rehabilitated

sometimes the light don't shine
that's the time we gotta open our eyes, yeah
sometimes the light don't shine
you and me baby gonna get

rehabilitated

well ah, hey, I went down to N.A.
business was a bouncin' like back in the day
hypocrites hidin' habits all over town
pop stars gushin' bout the faith they've found
left me so cold, I walked out in the rain
waitin' early for that midnight train
been so long, I've been feeling so bad
I'm gonna blow away the blues tonight
'cause'a

sometimes the light don't shine
that's the time we gotta open our eyes, yeah
sometimes the light don't shine
you and me baby gonna get rehabilitated

sometimes the light don't shine
that's the time we gotta open our eyes, yeah
sometimes the light don't shine
you and me baby gonna get rehabilitated

R is for the recovery you're going to make in my sumptious retreat in the hills
E is for how I'm gonna enable you to cure all of your ills
H is for the hurtin' heartache I'm going to help you lose
A: assessment successful
B: good bye b-blues

sometimes the light don't shine
what?
rehabilitated
sometimes the light don't shine
rehabilitated
sometimes the light don't shine
rehabilitated
sometimes the light don't shine

sing it now

sometimes the light don't shine
that's the time we gotta open our eyes, yeah
sometimes the light don't shine
you and me baby gonna get rehabilitated

sometimes the light don't shine
that's the time we gotta open our eyes, yeah
sometimes the light don't shine
you and me baby gonna get rehabilitated

sometimes the light don't shine
everybody say
sometimes the light don't shine
everybody say
sometimes the light don't shine
everybody say
sometimes the light don't shine
you and me gonna get rehabilitated

you ever have a frustrated liver??
I know another guy who had a frustrated liver??
one morn, he's asleep
an just gets right up out and just went and
ran along the road .../.

Just keep on perservering...

I love you, my son.

You are the love of my life.
Big blue eyes, dirty blond hair and sometimes dirty clothes that I wash.
You have seen the good, bad and ugly.
You have also witnessed the beautiful thing called unconditional love.
That is what I have for you.
Who makes the best iced tea and macaroni and cheese?
That's right, me.
You said, "It just tastes like mom".
I get it.
I wasn't perfect.
Still working my way through this life, now minus one.
Give me a break, please.
If I had a cape, I would stop a moving train for you or a speeding bullet.
Sadly, I don't own a cape, just a waitress apron and sturdy work shoes.
I am hurting too.
We show our pain very differently.
Same goes for how we show our love.
The love is there, forever and always.
Give me a chance. Let me get you where you need to be.
Let me be your mother and love you.
I cherish you hugs good night and when you tell me your are proud of me.
I am fighting the good fight kiddo, that's all I know how to do.
We shall heal together- in our own ways, at our own pace.
I love you with everything that another human can fathom.
Give me a chance, please.
My heart is still broken and tender, I am just not "tuff" like you.
Your tears are private.
Mine flow at the drop of dime.
I love you.

Do you really care who is screwing who?

I have noticed a disturbing and irritating tidbit. That Jon and Kate couple are in the news everyday. Why? That man and woman made numerous children and now are riding the wave of celebrity. The Jon man is quite popular with the ladies. I wonder what his flock of children think when they see photos of Daddy with his new female companions? I also want to know how this qualifies as news. People are dying from lack of healthcare, there are wars going on, the economy sucks, yet when my homepage lights up on the monitor, the first photo and news topic I see is about Jon and Kate. Fornication is old news, read the Bible. Lets get on with some newsworthy topics please. Oh yeah, after this news topic, underneath it was some rant about Lindsay Lohan and her weight. WTF???? Maybe the definition of news has changed since I went to school.

Can you ever win being a parent?????

My son bucked and fought about moving to Georgia. Told us we ruined his life. Well now that I have found a place he is mad, again. I give up. I love that baggy pants wearing kid with all my heart. I thought he would be ecstatic about moving back to Bmore, HIS hometown...I do believe it might be a case of the laziness about packing and moving. Yeah it sucks, but so does me being miserable everyday. I understand his fears about the temptations that lurk in the big city, but those same demons are here also. They are everywhere. Ask any recovering addict.. Geographical change works for some time, but if you want something bad enough, you will find it. This child has not accomplished anything since we have moved here, except to get very good at playing world of warcraft. That's wonderful, but the real world is zooming by and I am not going to be alive forever. That virtual reality that these kids have nowadays I am afraid isn't always so great. When I was growing up we all wanted to move out at 18. See the world, be on our own. What the f happened? I now see a bunch of young adults living in their parents basements because they chose some crazy major that isn't applicable in the job market. They look for jobs on the Internet rather than go out in person. God forbid. I have always gotten a job by walking in the front door and meeting the hiring manager and shaking their hand. Sigh, and my dad walked 20 miles in cardboard shoes to school...the saga never ends...

Can U Feel It????

Can you feel me being happy today? Yes, I woke up feeling incredibly blessed and thankful. I had a great night at work last night, got a special bonus in the mail. The sun is shining and I feel God smiling. I don't have many days like this as of late. So I am taking time to rejoice and share the "mood". Every time I feel like like wallowing in the mire of poo, God taps me on my shoulder and says "Hey you, kiddo, shake it off and count the blessings you receive"... I might also add that I met a girl who turned out to be a coke dealer and she was very persistent and enticing. Guess what, I just laughed and said "Oh no thanks, haven't done coke since the 80's" (a lie) but it worked, and I came home all money and funds and sanity in tact. The best advice I ever got recovery wise is that as soon as someone offers you drugs, (when you are clean and sober is when they are freely offered) make the word NO spill from your lips before any other word. That was the best advice I ever got in my life. I have used it many times. I am also feeling happy because in about 3 weeks I am moving back HOME.. An old friend has a nice house with a mother-in-law apt for my mom and two rooms for Baggy Pants and I. It is exactly what we pay here. In civilization. I am not built to live in the south. Just to damn blunt and I am tired of saying yes ma'am when sometimes the right response is "Would you fucking order already"....Sorry God for the profanity. Working of curbing it. I have prudently banked my money so I have two months to find a job and I just am going with my heart. Plus, my brother-in-laws unemployment runs out next month, which cuts their income down in half and I want to run out right before their money does. Just kidding....(I think) Kenny got to die in a beautiful place, but it is too painful to come home to the house and bed he died in. I don't care if it takes years but the VA will pay for what they did to him. So just spreading sunny thoughts and sunshine to everyone who reads my babble and please, count your blessings. Even when they don't seem to amount to much, you are blessed each and every day.

Peace Out.