Thought for the day

How do I hide my hostility at work when the whole back of the house at this time does not speak English? My boss replaced 90% of the kitchen and dishroom with Latino help.. They are a beautiful people, but now my friend Mark, who is sort of in Roberts shoes, almost 50 and busts his ass at Denny's, and maybe two others are now in the minority at work, with their hours cut..Many of us are getting frustrated, but if we open our mouth, than we will be colllecting unenjoyment. It has really made me see my boss in a new light.. Not very pleased...Picking up an early shift today, so I am outta here and on my way. Be back manyana! (sp)

Sexy??????

Through a fellow favorite blogger, Sarcastic Bastard,http://sarcastbastard.blogspot.com/ I found this site. On this site I found this photo. I simply can't fathom what is going through certain people's mind when they take a photo such as this. This is what I do on my day off by the way. Absolutely nothing productive...

Schmatta

http://www.blowbackproductions.com/schmatta.shtml


I just sat here and cried. I just watched this documentary and I implore you to take some time out and watch it also. It's about the history of the garment industry in New York. It's about labor and politics. It's about families. The people who came here with a dream. Unions. WORK. People who took pride in their trade. Many of the men in this movie reminded me of my father. He was a plant manager of a thriving shoe factory when I was little. I remember being a little girl and going on Saturday's with my dad to work. I would sit in his office and write down numbers on a tag and than put the tags on the shoes. The smells and sounds of a big factory impressed me. My father cried when he gave out the pink slips. I was 11. The factory closed. I remember him sitting at our dining room table shaking his head and telling me, "If it's not made in America, don't you ever buy it" I solemly nodded my head, feeling that it was something very important. It was and I never forgot it. The men and women in this documentary brought me back to my childhood. When every grown-up I knew had a job. They worked for one company their entire life and retired, usually in Florida. One elderly woman in this documentary summed it up in one sentence.."A man needs to work"....I agree. How many of you grew up with the jingle "Look for the union label?" My coffee is now too cold and I am going to reheat it. Take some time out and watch this documentary. Peace!

It's in the air...

Been all out of whack this week...too tired to blog or anything else. I took the picture of the ferris wheel out of the car window. I feel like I am on one of those 'effing things as of late. Up,up, and up, and then, big drop down...backwards, forwards, start and stop. I am going to savor my two days off after I knock this shift out, like a delicious meal or fine wine. I want to read everyone's blogs, cook something wonderful, and CHILL.. The weather is gorgeous out. The snow is becoming a distant memory and spring is very much in the air. Kenny used to tell me all the time that there was a certain smell in the air, the aroma of spring. It was our favorite season. Spring forward. Hope. Springs eternal. Shorts and flip-flops. Flowers. Yard sales. Frozen ices. Sunshine. Cool breezes and perfect evening air. Carnivals. The gloom of winter is lifting. I am thankful! I shall hit everyone's blogs tomorrow and catch up. Enjoy the sunshine!

Accomplished

I worked my Wednesday dayshift and as a favor to my boss, went home, took a nap, and punched back in at 10pm and worked til 5am. Believe it or not, it did me good mental health wise. I still got it. My work ethic. That is the one thing that never leaves me. Come hell or high water, my ass goes to work. That is something I have always been rather proud of. Plus I spoke with my boss about going back to the graveyard shift. I had started there doing that, and I preferred it than, and I think I might now. So this week I am testing the waters with a new schedule. The money is better and the clientele on late night is a bit more fun. Plus I am getting home at my favorite time of day, the early am. We shall see. I believe that hard work has to pay off at some point. I am setting a good example for my son. J knows I have always worked. Hopefully it will rub off. This is the first year he has not had a little part time gig. He has mommy. I am trying to show him that I can be dependable and that he can count on me. My brother being around has helped out actually more than I thought. They go to the movies together and do "guy" stuff. My brother and I are getting close again like we used to be. That brings me comfort. I am learning not to be evil and compromise, and he is being very considerate and helpful. We both know the deal with our mother. Scott told me straight up that I am the only family he has on this planet, except for his nephew, Baggy Pants. He tells me he loves me and hugs and kisses me. He lets me grieve in my own way; for my late husband and my dog. He lets me be. I do believe he loves me unconditionally. I practically raised him.. I am 11 years older than him. We have some great memories together. We can laugh and cry together. We are also growing together. So one day at a time is the mode I am in. I am dead tired and beat, but I do feel accomplished. I also know I have a brother that loves me. I will rest peacefully today... Peace...

Hanging on...

I'm getting a grip. The ride spins so fast sometimes that I can hardly hang on. There have been days I just want to let go, but what that thing is that makes me hang on, won't let me. Persevere I must. Can't quit now, right? When life hands you the big shit sandwich you take a big ole bite, spit it out or swallow it, but you must go on. I need to just handle small tasks right now, nothing overwhelming. i also see my GP next week and I think I am going to start taking my Effexor again. Kenny swore that medicine made a difference. The people around me are starting to be affected by my moods. Why the hell should I be the happy clock for everyone around me? I didn't volunteer for that job. My dear mother informed me that my mood sets the tone for everyone else. Horseshitty. My mood sets my own tone, thank you. That is my mode for the week. Plus I like the word Horseshitty. Kind of rolls off the tongue.So here is to hanging on and not letting go, no matter how bad we want to..

The Dark Side

Every once in awhile the dark side comes through on paper. This is one of those times. Right now everything is bleak and dreary.. I am overworked, underpaid and tired. Not just sleepy tired. Life tired. I am sure if you could see my aura right now you would see shades of grey mixed with black. I hate feeling like this. Right now I hate feeling. The smart part of me tells me this too will pass. The tired part tells me that this is just a never ending painful journey, will more loss to come. Work has been horrid, money wise. My dog is gone. I miss the smell of his wet fur and his cold nose. He knew all my secrets. All his fur held every tear from Kenny's death. The bills are piling on and I don't even care. I keep wondering when "it's" going to get better. My gut tells me it's going to be quite a long time. I guess I am just tired, plain and simple. My pillows and blankets look so inviting. I want to stay there. For a long time. I need to get my mind right and out from under this money mire. Me and the hamster have alot in common. That damn wheel we share. We both run and go nowhere. Enough depressing blather for now. The bed and pillow are winning this war.