Jan 18, 2009

Elderly and useless

Yes, I am referring to my other half. I think he is resenting my full time job. We moved down here so he could enjoy his retired years in a peaceful place. Right now I am keeping this job so we can bank money. I only have one day off a week. His only hobbies are the dog and the tv. I try to encourage him to write. I have given up. I truly believe it is something you have a passion for or you don't. Rather simple. I have noticed that no matter what age you are you need to feel a sense of purpose, a reason to wake up. I am watching my aging my mother sitting on the couch, just like that woman in the depression commercial. She has been retired one month and is now falling apart with all these new aches and pains. SSI screwed her over royally. Her first check doesn't start til April. They had originally told her December. I can swing the bills on my own, but I do understand how she feels. Everyone wants their own money in their pocket to buy what they need without asking, She is without health care until they start her medicare. She is frustrated and feels helpless for the first time in her life. She has worked her whole life and had great healthcare. Now going to the doctor is a struggle. People who have never had to deal with governement agencies are in for such a rude awakening when they retire. Hours spent on the phone. Tons of paperwork. Keeping track of your money becomes a full time job. Maybe it is because I am still in my 40's I am thankful for the fact that I do have a job and a house that I can afford to live in. I have two freezers full of food. My bills are up to date. That is good enough for me. They should have some sort of class to prepare people before they retire on how to muddle through the redtape and paperwork. Kenny gets depressed and shuts down because that is his way of coping. My mother is a screamer when things don't go her way The government has a way of making you feel powerless, They keep telling her that her case is deferred. That is not a straight enough answer for her,It is heartbreaking to watch a woman who,up until December, worked 40 houre a week. She could manage her money. Those days are gone temporarily. Her spirit is broken and I am watching her sink deeper and deeper into our couch. Thank God she has us to carry her through this time. To see whow we treat our elderly in this wonderful country of our is heart-wrenching.


the walking man said...

For the first seven years of my forced retirement I consciously did not turn the TV on before 5pm. I did not want to get sucked into the horror of daytime broadcasting. I was better able to walk then and still was able to wonder at the nature of my environment.

I was better able to hold a saw and turn big pieces of wood into little ones and better able to imagine myself as something other than retired.

Now that I am firmly convinced that I am retired the mind struggles more and more to find something to latch onto. Things that may have sparked an interest in years passed do not anymore but...

and this is what I think your kin are missing...

I still desire if nothing else to learn. I use this machine for much more than an outlet for artistic endeavor, it is a library full of the encyclopedic knowledge of the world, it is a source of news and in reading I find that now I understand when, if not by who, a story is spinning to to a certain view point. It is a source of escape with sights like HULU and Oovo.

K may not want to write and that s good I don't need the competition but he doesn't want to learn either and that my friend is the problem.

With your mom...time...time will pass whether she fights or not, it still moves forward. She simply needs to get more comfortable as she waits.

Lori said...

Kenny just laughed and said you have no need to worry about competition. My mom is a different story. This is the first time in her life that she has been dependent on us to support her. SSI delayed her first payment til April, after she was told it would start in January. She feels a sense of helplessness. I can't find anything to inspire passion in her mind. I, like you, use this machine to learn constantly. That is what I believe keeps our minds healthy and thriving. With my mother everything comes down to money or the lack thereof. We are able to provide and cover all the bills here and make sure everyone, even Baggy Pants is comfortable. I recognize depression, and I don't think she even has the wherewithal (sp) to pull herself up from her bootstraps and begin to stop wallowing in this depressive mire. I am impatient. Life has always been a struggle and everyone that I conquer makes me stronger. Kenny and I have started an exercise regimen and walk a mile or so a day with the dog. That even makes a differece in how we feel. She continues to linger on the couch and complain about how SSI has done her dirty. Ok, well find something to do until it is straightened out. Never let your mind go stagnate.