Jun 25, 2009

Mama

Some people are not meant to be mothers.
I am adopted.
You thought you wanted a child.
Tsk, Tsk, Tsk, you should have thought harder.
Being a mother requires an innate knack of putting another human first.
You did try.
Some people can't give what they don't have.
Trust me, you don't have "it"
I forgive you.
I have learned to accept the facts of my life.
I refuse to be the adult on the therapist's couch
singing the Freudian blues.
I learned that you do love me,
But you always will love you more.
That's ok.
I love my son to the moon.
I will take a bullet for my child.
I will go hungry for that pair of blue eyes.
I will not rest until I am satisfied that he is where he needs to be as a man.
I learned that from you.
What not to do.

5 comments:

the walking man said...

All we can say is that we learned from the example given and it is fortunate that you learned how not to be. Well said Lori.

Lou said...

So true, we learn from everyone..

I think you are sorting out a lot these days, and this is great way to do it. (Blogging helped me a lot.)

Lori said...

Mark- I decided to pick a goal and my main goal right now is to get Jesse to the point of being a healthy independent adult man. I don't care how baggy the pants are, that kid has a heart that surpasses his pants, lol.

Lou- You are right. Much time reflecting. I got a call from my congressman, they are investigating the VA in Augusta regarding negligence in Kenny's death. Kenny taught me that patience is what always wins the race and he didn't deserve to die the way he did, suffering without proper medical care. So yes, I am sorting out alot of things. Blogging is where I put it all out on "paper"..I write way better than I speak, lol..Thankfully he also taught me forgiveness.

TechnoBabe said...

For some of us living with our biological mothers taught us what not to be and do. I was put in foster homes at age 13, should have been much sooner. But I did learn. Happy for you that you learned too.

Lori said...

TechnoBabe- I agree with you 100%. Glad you, too, made it through.