Aug 30, 2011
Another take on the 12 step plan and honesty
Some people might not find the humor in this band's take on the 12 Step Plan, but I do. Sometimes you have to laugh about the past and the pain or you will go insane. Not talking about glorifying the things that we have done, but making peace with the demons and the shame.
Someone commented awhile ago that I don't go into detail about the past that much. My addiction is something that I haven't made the focus of my blog. Oh well, here goes.. I used to be a junkie. I was married to one. I started at 23 with the hard drugs, ie heroin. My late great one introduced me to the opiate wonders. We did everything together. Used, laughed, cried, detoxed, jailed, and all the other good shit that addicts do. We got clean oneday. It took years. We got tired..The biggest irony of his death is that on his death bed he had a junkie's dream of medication. He didn't want it. Kenny wanted clarity and to feel. He died clean and sober June 1, 2009. We had moved to Georgia to start a new life and we did it. Than he died. Ironic huh? Through all the overdoses etc., he died of cancer and the staph infection that had spread throughout his body. He died in our bed with me, Baggy Pants and his brother on a beautiful lake in Ga. Noone thought that two addicts together could make it. Most don't. I remember the fights over drugs/money. I remember doing the happy dance when we got our tax refund so we could blow it. Only another addict can understand how a person can go through $5,000 in 3 days.
So the reason I don't really write about it now is that I am in a totally different phase in my life. I am focused on doing positive things and moving forward. I am not the same person at 44 that I was at 34. So now I laugh as much as possible and try to have fun. I don't always succeed. It's not easy. Kenny used to have a saying about SOBER...he would say "son of a bitch everything's real"...I always got it. I refuse to get caught up with the monster again. I don't have the strength. I value my life..."Sometimes the light don't shine, that's the time we have to open our eyes" "You and me baby gonna get rehabilitated" - A3 RIP KLR....
Posted by Lori