Dec 23, 2008

I am counting my blessings

I get up around 5am everyday. That infernal internal alarm clock. I watch the sun rise everyday from my balcony while I type. I am blessed. This living on faith has kept my sanity in tact. Do you know how many years it has taken me to mature and realize that I cannot obsses over things I have not control? It is pointless. My rent and cost of living has dropped to about half. I see people here in waaaayyy worse situations then I, and guess what? They still smile and wave everyday. I am learning to invest in my own happiness. I am an easy chick to please. Don't need the fancy bling. I just need a loving person to laugh and cry with. The people who have been married more than two decades understand what I am talking about. I have raised my children to the best of my ability. They are both over 18 and making their own choices. I was not mother of the year. I struggled through addiction for a good part of their earlier life, but I have reached the other side. When I was weak, Kenny was strong and vice versa. There was always a rock of strength in our home. My eldest is in drug treatment, and my youngest wouldn't dream of spending a penny on anything illegal, that money could be spent on a new gadget. Plus, he said the only addiction he can even closely relate to is tobacco, and that is only because some of his friends smoke. I just turned 42 this month and it feels somewhat better than all the other birthdays of years gone by. My mind and will are strong. My freezer is full, my rent is paid on time, a couple more debts are on their way to being closed out. The Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind!!! (Yes, that's a movie title) but I have my own personal meaning for that title. Count your blessings people. You might be surprised. Plus I am so happy, no need to say "Fuck" in my blog today...oops..:(

1 comment:

the walking man said...

5Am?...You do love to sleep late eh? I took the opposite track and never tried to protect anything close to sanity but then there are different definitions for sanity as well as what constitutes a good parent.

I suppose that as long as your of the school of thought that says "all things work together for good" then even the negatives play a part in illuminating the good.

Fuck! I just didn't want you to think that pointless use of expletives was something to be shied away from...

Now you...over there in the land of the respite and peace of mind, live free and live well.