Ketchup on steak?

Sorry everyone. This is one of my pet peeves. When you go out to eat a top grade cut of meat that is cooked to perfection, why on earth would you smother it with ketchup? Why? I equate that to steak rape. I use A-1 on occasion, but the best cuts of steak usually just need a knife and fork. My last table of the night ordered about $145 worth of food and I watched everyone of them smother these sexy, delicious steaks with KETCHUP. YOu might as well piss on a Prime Rib. I am a bit of a food snob. When you work hard and go out to eat, and are getting a fabulous meal, it just is heartbreaking to watch people who don't know how to appreciate the food setting before them. Everythng in the world doesn't need a dipping sauce people. The best food is cooked properly and especially meat, tastes best when you taste the flavor of the grill. Yes, this is pretty inane post, but it is just something that irritates me to no end. I also learned that the ketchup folks, not all, but quite a few, tip you the price of a bottle of cheap ketchup. Please folks, give the steak a chance. Don't kill it with tomato sauce. I don't ask much in life.

Insomnia

I have been up since midnight. Sleep is just evading me. I even took a Xanax and still can't sleep. It figures that I have to work early tomorrow. Thankfully it is a short 3 hour shift. There are periods I go through where my mind becomes so burdened with "stuff", that is actually makes my head throb. Have you ever felt like a sponge that absorbs everything? If I was just dealing with my own thoughts and problems that is one thing, but than when other people's junk starts to invade my mind, it simply is too much. I usually count backwards from 100 as a first measure. Next step is to meditate. Alas, I am at step three. Got out of the bed, brewed the coffee and am just going to start my day now. Does anyone out in cyberworld have any tips or stories of what you do on nights like these? Nights when you toss and turn and all the worries that lay upon your shoulders throughout the day, fill your mind at night. I prefer to sit here that watch mindless infomercials. I don't believe that I can make $9,000 a week selling real estate if I just spend $99 for some selling technique DVDS. I don't want to mail my gold jewelery in for cash. That seems to be the gist of late night/early morning tv. The people who allow those to be televised should suffer. Good night or Good morning!

The past does come back to pee on the present

My brother-in-law got his heart broke yesterday. I hooked him up with the manager of a local chain here, similar to 7-11's. They are called Flash Foods. He got called for the interview, got pumped up by the manager about the benefits, ready to set up his direct deposit, etc. Than he said, "Oh yeah, just sign this form".. The form was a criminal background check. Rick mentioned he had a few things from his past, and the whole interview changed. He said he would see what he could do, but this particular chain is corporate owned and operated and he told Rick they are very strict. Rick was no saint up until the last 4 years ago. Prison time etc. He came home so crestfallen and dis-heartened. He is getting ready to back to Baltimore probably Friday. He wants to work. It made me realize two things. 1- How lucky I am that someone took a chance on me. 2- What do convicted felons and others who have been in the "system" for something small do? Upon their release they have the best intentions, but most people get tired of doors getting slammed in their face. So I think I am starting to understand prison recidivism alot better. How many no's can one person take. I know, best intentions only get you so far. What about the man who has truly changed his ways. Now that we live in the era of computers, with one click they can find out your whole life story. People do get judged on their track record. Your criminal history, just on paper, shows your character. They don't know what was happening in your life at that time in your life when you made certain bad choices. Not making exscuses, but sometimes it is just one case of bad judgement. Technically, once you serve your time, you have paid your debt to society. Yes, there was a time when I was wacked out of my mind and actually got checked into a mental health facility. They gave me Lithium and a bunch of other pills that I no longer take, and deemed me much better. This was in '96. I was one of those lucky folks who had a breakdown. I made many bad choices during that time. It is now 2009 and I have changed tremendously. Some of us grow up later than others. We learn to get a grip on our demons. Rick is serious about working. He doesn't want to live on unemployment. He wants to work. No one will hire him. Most of his record consists of theft. Not good. Society seems to more forgiving for the Dui's and domestic violence charges. Not theft. So it seems he shall be packing up by the end of the week. I do want him to get his own place, but I know he and his wife can no longer afford where they currently reside. The rent is so cheap down here. I just saw his face yesterday when he came home from that interview. We really thought he had that job. Lesson- Your past does come back to haunt you.

Hope comes in many forms...

Last night I had the pleasure of waiting on 20 or so ladies over 40 from a local church. They were so pleasant and delightful. They decorated the little dining room, and brought in a tape of Irish jig music. They came from one of our many Baptist churches. I watched these ladies have a mini-bible study and they were talking about sisterhood and fellowship amongst your community. They were smiling, laughing and I just felt that they were innately happy human beings. I was on the clock so of course I turned the charm on. I had a great time. It wasn't about the tip. When I see people who have spirit and joy it is infectious. After being deluged daily with news reports of negativity and doom and gloom, for two hours last night, I realized there is small pieces of hope in our little world, just by watching some ladies put on hats and do a jig.

Spine

There is a person in my life who I love very much. This person avoids confrontations at all cost. Someone who eats the proverbial spoonful of shit rather than rock the boat. This is starting to infuriate me. I am a person who values peace, but more than anything I value my peace of mind. When I am in a situation that interferes with my mental health I lose the polite tone, and speak my mind. I am blessed with a decent job and I am working my behind off trying to get ahead. The results are slow, but I am seeing gradual improvement. Financial and emotional baby steps. We now have a house guest, the brother-in-law. Even thought this is a three bedroom house, all the rooms are filled. He does have a van, with a bed in the back. I am a very private person. Ever since I was a child I was always someone who needed a place to retreat. My place now is my bedroom. I know it sounds crazy, because he is a nice guy and has been a great guest, but sometimes just having another presence around constantly aggravates me. Now my sanctuary is not my own anymore. He came to Georgia to look for work and find a place for his wife and he to move into. He has spent the last few days fishing in the lake. Just little annoyances that his own brother doesn't know how to speak up to him about. I feel it is his place to get him in line, make him stay focused on his goal instead of going out on the boat everyday. My sister-in-law brings home a decent SSI check and I am getting the feeling he is just waiting for their lease to expire in May. I don't want a guest til May. He collects unemployemnt and can get a cheap room for rent. I feel like that makes me an Un-Christian like person. It's just that I work hard and when I come home I really don't like someone in "my space". He is fun to be around, and has really done nothing wrong. He is tidy and nice. It is me I guess. I just wish that my other half would grow a spine or cahunas (sp) and tell his little bro that our bedroom is ours. Sometimes if you make things too comfortable for someone they have no reason to leave. Maybe if I make him share a room with Baggy Pants that would make him want to move out the next day. Just needed to vent.

12/21/2012

I watch alot of those programs on the Science channel and Discovery channel etc. Well there seems to be a mass consensus that on 12-21-2012 the world is coming to an end. My son gets very upset that I even watch these programs. I am always curious to aquire new knowledge, whether it is hyperbole or fact. The date they have come up with is based on the Mayan calendar, certain other notable forsee'ers into the future. They all come to the same date. I tried to explain to Baggy Pants, that even if this is true, and the world is going to end as we know it, what can we do? He is a child that believes fervently in the bible. He is familiar with The Book of Revalations (sp). My point to him is that no matter when the world is going to end, live your live today to the best and the fullest and be the best person that you are capable of. I personally think we have abused this planet to the point where it indeed might just shake us off and start anew. I am trying to teach him that some things you have control over, ie. yourself. That is what you work on. Events such as mass destruction, doomsday dates and things of that nature you have no control of. I could get hit by a car tomorrow. So I live today, cherishing the great moments, making my little contributions to keep our planet healthier, I think green is the politically correct term. I have enough stress in my daily life that I cannot make myself sick with worry about an impending catastrophe that I have no power to stop, if it is indeed true. There is some science regarding this. I believe it has something to do with planetary alignment, which could wreak havoc on our own planet. If that is the case, what can I as one do? I am curious if others have heard of this date and if so, what is your opinion? I certainly can't change planetary alignment. I can live a good, decent life and hope when my number is up, that my true soul is seen and I shall perhaps rise to a different place. It saddens me that throughout the last 20 years we have lived with such disregard for the very thing that sustains us, The Earth. If there is intelligent life forms out there somewhere in the Milkway, they must look at us the way we look at cockroaches. We spread and multiply and are undesirable. Again, just my opion. Just look at the way we treat our fellow man. How civilized can we truly be? I have always lived by the belief that there but for the grace of God could be me. I never forget the struggles our hardships. I always lend a hand, when I am able. Again, responses to this would be appreciated. Do you think this is just more panic tactics, like Y2K? I would be very interested in some feedback.

The benefits have finally arrived

My mother after numerous months of waiting has finally gotten her SSI. They were supposed to have started her benefits in November. My point is what the hell would she have done if I wouldn't have covered her bills for the last few months? She would have been homeless and broke. Do they play games like this with other people waiting? My mother has worked her whole life and retired at 65. She was so broke she had to go apply for food stamps last week. My mom is a prideful woman and it devastated her to use food stamps. So now she is straightened out and the relief will alleviate so much stress. I just thank God she had family. I am sure there are numerous folks who have been in this situation with no family. You work your whole life and than get dicked around by the government for almost 4 months. That is shameful...