Oct 8, 2009
Imagine sharing a large basement apartment with your 19 year old son. OH the joy. Thankfully we compromise. He is actually a pretty reasonable kid. In my imaginary mind he is the next Bill Gates. God parental pride is sickening. He is a trooper. This has been the worst year of our life. Absofuckinglutley...Yet, he gives me encouragement. When I screw up he is the first to tell me. He is a brutally honest person. He is going to kill me for posting this, but the dog, he and I still lay in bed and talk. Those are my treasured moments. I know how much he misses his dad. If I could erase his pain, I would turn into a human eraser. For many other mistakes as well. When does the parental guilt go away? I wish I was a June Cleaver type. Sadly, it just didn't work out that way. His father was his rock. I was more flighty. Kenny had me by 10 years in age and maturity. I remember being jealous that he would share secrets with him and not me. He told me I talk to much. He is right, lol. I am now glad they have those secrets that they shared. They are his personal treasures. We still cry together and than we laugh. We are going to make it. If I have to work 3 jobs I will. That boy will go to college. He does tech support for everyone and their brother. He gets paid by his friends to build them computers from scratch. He just needs those documents that life requires. I am now learning about college loans etc. Another mire of paperwork. I shall wade through it. My son. He will not just survive. He will thrive. I love you boy.
Posted by Lori