Fired and Tired

Well, I have been smiling and tolerating insults all to help provide for my family. The head waitress and I do not get along, but I just kill her with kindness. Tonight she sent me on break but my station still had dirty tables so I went back to help clean it up. She started screaming, "What are you afraid I am going to steal your tip".. I said "whoa, you have been telling me to make sure my station is spotless so I just wanted to help clean up". This woman has been riding my ass since day one but I have just dealt with it. Yankee slurs and many others. I kept ignoring them. At the end of my shift she said "You can just take off tomorrow and if Sybil needs you she will call you".. I have been in the business for 25 years. I know what that means. I said "Karen, are you basically telling me that I am fired".. She said, "pretty much". This girl has made every waitress cry. Except me. My one friend came out and said that she was dead wrong and felt very threatened by my age and experience. I constantly reassured this woman that I wasn't shooting for a head waitress job, just wanted to make a few dollars in my pocket and go home. After she basically let me go, I said ok, have a good night it was a pleasure working with you. I have an interview tomorrow at a steakhouse, which is way more my speed than a buffet. When you waitress at a buffet, you are a glorified bus girl/beverage girl. So wish me luck at my interview tomorrow. I have been sucking up all the bullshit for almost a month now, and I must admit I actually feel a sense of relief. I literally have been biting my tongue. Pam is on the phone now telling me to call the owner and explain my side of the story and let her know exactly what happened. I think I might do that, not ask for my job back, but just let her know that I felt attacked by her head waitress. So that is all for now. I am out of steam.

Working girl blues

Blisters swell on my heels
The bones in my back ache so loudly they are starting to play their own tune
The tip money swells in my apron
Enabling me to put decent food on the table for my family,
who I am not spending much time with these days
One man's SSI check just doesn't cut the mustard in these economic times
When my head hits the pillow at night, I am not the vamp I once used to be.
I am sound asleep in 15 minutes
I save the sex appeal for the early morning hours
The checking account is building
As is our peace of mind
The weariness is starting to become worthwhile
Endurance is building
Personal pride is growing
Maturity is teaching me that there will always be tradeoffs in this life of mine
One table, one plate at a time.

Passing the ball or the buck

Well, tonight we have a new president. I somehow feel that the Republicans have passed the ball to the Democrats knowing the game is losing at this point. Let's hope President Obama has the ability to have some game strategy. It seems to be the American way, pass the buck when the mess gets to huge. Multi-crisis's everywhere you look. I still don't understand who would even want the job of president of any country. I believe it takes a human with a rather healthy ego. My idea of change is to live a simple life. Not be wasteful, conserve my resources, stockpile medications, water, and yes, duct tape in case some disaster does befall our nation. I always keep a surplus of antibiotics in my home. I am not a paranoid person, just trying to make decisions for the well being of my family. I am sure the people of Gaza wish they would have enough medical supplies and water. Now they are reliant on humanitarian aid. I am at an age in my life where I know the main resource I have to rely on is myself and my family. I hope President Obama follows through with his promises. Especially the health care issue. My doctor was speaking with me last month and he said he thinks the healthcare will happen, in my lifetime. Imagine that? I will just sit back and wait. I can't get caught up in the hoopla of speeches. I am of the era that the proof is in the pudding, which is plentiful in my pantry. I prepare for hard times by stockpiling my pantry. I prepare for the worst and hope for the best. I keep all the people who read my ramblings in my prayers.

Elderly and useless

Yes, I am referring to my other half. I think he is resenting my full time job. We moved down here so he could enjoy his retired years in a peaceful place. Right now I am keeping this job so we can bank money. I only have one day off a week. His only hobbies are the dog and the tv. I try to encourage him to write. I have given up. I truly believe it is something you have a passion for or you don't. Rather simple. I have noticed that no matter what age you are you need to feel a sense of purpose, a reason to wake up. I am watching my aging my mother sitting on the couch, just like that woman in the depression commercial. She has been retired one month and is now falling apart with all these new aches and pains. SSI screwed her over royally. Her first check doesn't start til April. They had originally told her December. I can swing the bills on my own, but I do understand how she feels. Everyone wants their own money in their pocket to buy what they need without asking, She is without health care until they start her medicare. She is frustrated and feels helpless for the first time in her life. She has worked her whole life and had great healthcare. Now going to the doctor is a struggle. People who have never had to deal with governement agencies are in for such a rude awakening when they retire. Hours spent on the phone. Tons of paperwork. Keeping track of your money becomes a full time job. Maybe it is because I am still in my 40's I am thankful for the fact that I do have a job and a house that I can afford to live in. I have two freezers full of food. My bills are up to date. That is good enough for me. They should have some sort of class to prepare people before they retire on how to muddle through the redtape and paperwork. Kenny gets depressed and shuts down because that is his way of coping. My mother is a screamer when things don't go her way The government has a way of making you feel powerless, They keep telling her that her case is deferred. That is not a straight enough answer for her,It is heartbreaking to watch a woman who,up until December, worked 40 houre a week. She could manage her money. Those days are gone temporarily. Her spirit is broken and I am watching her sink deeper and deeper into our couch. Thank God she has us to carry her through this time. To see whow we treat our elderly in this wonderful country of our is heart-wrenching.

These bones ache

It is 26 degrees outside this morning. See what I get for bragging. Everyone in my home is sick, except for Baggy Pants. I think because we wake up and the temp. is so low and than by 11am. it warms up to the 60's and 70's our bodies are having a hard time adjusting. Cough syrup and balled up tissues abound in the house. Plus, I am trying to accept the fact that I am not 25 anymore and must be careful about my health. Aging is a fact of life, not a pleasant one, but than again, not so bad. I am enjoying my 40's just for the wisdom and knowledge I have aquired. The job is getting easier, and I am slowly gaining acceptance. I am learning I draw more flies with honey than vinegar. That is something that you only learn with age. My tongue has little bruises on it from biting it so frequently but I am still employed. Ironically, this restaurant is the best gig in this little town. Most of the girls I work with have un-employed boyfriend who sit home and drink beer and wait for them to get off work with their tip money, to buy more beer. If you are a waitress and have your own place, the men flock looking for a place to lay their heads and maybe find female comfort and a place to feel like a man for a few minutes. Praise God, I am glad I am married. I can't fathom dating in this day and age. If my spouse should pass before me, than I will become a spinster with her dog, and be quite content with that. Time to blow the nose again and throw a lidocaine patch on the tired old back. Wish me health, and I will never brag about the weather again, I promise.

Bruised feelings

Oh lord it's hard to be humble. I went to work last night after being on the floor for the last 3 nights making pretty decent tips. No complaints. Apparantely there was some confusion, so they made me train one more night to learn the menu. I was heated. Noone in this town orders off the flippin menu. This is $7.95 all you can eat. Last night was fried catfish. I was a fucking busgirl. I found out what the real deal was. There are two head waitresses, the one who happens to feel very threatened by my age and experience. At the end of the night I sat her down and very politely explained to her that I do not yearn for her job, (been there and done that), just want to come to work and make a few bucks and go home. She apologized and said I would be back on the floor tonight. If not, all my politeness is going out the window. I am really trying to mind my mouth. In all my life I would never have fathomed being discriminated against because I am from the north. These idiots still don't understand that MD is below the Mason Dixon Line. I don't even try to explain. The point is moot. I am arriving half an hour early to work tonight and the real me is getting ready to come out.

I hear the train a comin' it's rollin' round the bend

How are the beautiful people of the USA today? All the strife and poverty and unemployment in this country but guess what? I know in my heart there is no other place I'd rather be. No rockets launching on this soil. No border patrols. I have the freedom to type what I feel without fear. I may stroll where I please. I have liberties that I wouldn't trade for anything. The town I live in is flat broke but the Amtrak workers still have jobs and that train rolls through my town on a daily basis. The morning global news breaks my heart. I had an epiphany at the airport at BWI last week. I had a layover in Baltimore as the flight to N.Carolina was cancelled. All of our soldiers started rolling in at the airport. Most of them were coming home for about a year. I am a chatty kind of girl. They looked tired and beat. They proudly talk about defending their country. Regardless of how hard it is to be posted in the desert. These men were coming home from Afganastan.(sp) Some were from Iraq. They were happy to conversate while they waited to re-unite with loved ones. I now realize just how much I have to be thankful for. They also stated they will deploy out again as soon as they are called. When I lay my head upon my pillow, I have peace of mind knowing they are out there defending everything I hold sacred. Have a blessed day.